5 Minutes: Coffee and Leadership

Coffee again was the vehicle to change my life. This time it would bring me in front of some of the best leaders in the world.

I was talking my friend Thom Cody about the goals we had for our lives. When he asked me about my goals I told him “I want to change the world.” Little did I know that admitting that, would actually help me change not just the world but my life.

Thom told me about a leadership camp that he was helping run called RYLA. I could tell his passion for the program by the way he talked about it.

RYLA is a youth-led leadership camp that is funded by Rotary. The goal of RYLA is to help participants of any age, embrace their talents and gifts to become the best leader, team member and person they could ever imagine.

Further into our conversation Thom asked me if I wanted to take over RYLA. I was speechless. I did not think I could ever come close to making the program as great as he did. I was confused as to why Thom would ask me when there were so many people that I believed would do such a better job than I ever could. Even with all of that, I said yes, and it changed my life.

Here is what it taught me:

1) Take on challenges you are not ready for: Life always presents us with opportunities that will change our lives and many times we believe that we are not ready for them. We let the list of excuses of why we are not ready drive our life. You only need one reason to say yes, focus on your passion. Your passion will drive you to be successful.

2) Do not underestimate your actions: I used to think that changing the world had to be on a big state I would always get frustrated because I never thought I was doing enough. In my role I work closely with 10-15 facilitators each year. If you look at this from the population of the world it does not seem like a lot and yet to those few people, it makes an impact.
We think of changing the world like a magic trick. That with some action everything in our lives will change and the world will be a better place. People change the world one person at a time.

3) Ask for help: You do not have to figure it all out by yourself. When you ask for help, it is not a sign that you do not care, it is a sign that you do care. You care so much that you are willing to admit that you do not know it all and you put the program, idea or impact ahead of yourself.

4) You are never too old: RYLA targets sophomores and juniors in high school. Every year there are a few brave Rotarians that attend. One of my favorite stories is of a man in his sixties that attended as a participant. He was open, willing to try new things and wanted to gain the most from the experience and because of this RYLA changed his life. It is not our age that determines when we stop living, it is our mindset.

5) Letting go means that you care: It is hard to let go of something that you love. It feels like you are giving up on it. While it may be true at times, letting go can be the biggest sign that you care. I witnessed this first hand when Thom handed off the program to me. He loved the program so much, that he wanted to see it grow. It does not mean that you suck as a leader, it means you realize that everyone has a unique gift they can bring.

6) Be who you be: The irony of it all is that while RYLA Is about embracing your own gifts and yet for the first few years, I tried to be just like Thom. I tried to do things the way he would and I failed at it. I never really felt like I was having an impact until I started leading my way. The world does not need another person you admire, it needs you.

7) Greatness comes from some of the lowest points in your life: I met Thom was that I was looking for a job after I graduated from college and moved back in with my parents. Thom knew my dad and offered to meet with me. If it had not been for that low point in my life, I never would have met Thom and I would not be lucky enough to take on a program that continues to change my life.

One of the greatest things this program has done for me is bring me closer to my friend Ashten. If you have ever met me or worked with me on a project you know that at times I can be all over the place, unorganized and a little crazy. Ashten was my partner in crime in making all of this happen. She has done a lot of the work that gets no glory and I am forever thankful to her for that. RYLA has brought us together not only as leaders but as friends. This is one of the greatest things RYLA has given me.

If you have a story about how five minutes changed your life that you would like to share, email adam.lofquist@gmail.com

Fire. It makes everything new.

This is a guest post by my friend Christian Jensen:

From the moment I started college, I was optimistic for a fresh start.  In High School, my primary focus was on athletics.  I experienced success in football and track and field and had a desire to continue exploring my potential.  Academics on the other hand was an area I certainly did not apply myself.  There was something about the college environment where everything started over and one could build new relationships, set new expectations, develop new habits and build a new future.

So I committed to applying myself in levels I had never done before.  In track and field, I was producing good numbers but knew if I wanted to be the best I would have to work my butt off in training.  I would have to be in the gym, studying film, in the ring more than anyone else.  I was motivated not by the competition of others but with myself.  What is the best I can be?

After 4 years of school at UW Oshkosh, I was certain where my future was heading.  This young kid who once needed a math tutor just to be able to play sports in high school was on the Dean’s list in college.  In track and field, I was a three time All American and National Champion in 2003 in the Discus throw.  I had accomplished my goals.  I became fiercely competitive with myself.  But...something was missing.

In the summer after my fourth year of college, I moved back home with my family in Lake Geneva.  I have so many fond memories of my home life as a young person.  We have a large family and my parents loved to entertain.  Every week, we had family and friends over to swim in the pool, play sports in the yard or just to hang out.  Being that we loved to entertain, my father wanted to make our home the best. We had all the toys!  Trampoline, go-cart, pool table, pinball machine, etc.  We even finished off our basement and basically turned it into an entertainment space for our guests.

One morning, my mother was packing her bags to go for a short road trip.  I was helping her move some items she needed for the trip from our basement to her car.  While outside, loading the vehicle my mother said to me "do you smell that?"  Pausing for a moment to examine the air..."yeah, it smells like smoke."  Mom looked toward the house and yelled "FIRE!"  Out of the front door a thick, dark smoke was pouring out.  I ran in the house to examine the situation while my mom stayed outside and called 911.  The smoke was coming from the basement where we just were.  I ran down the stairs as the smoke was coming up.  When I reached the bottom level, it was much darker and harder to breathe due to the thickness of the smoke.  I could tell the smoke was coming from the part of the basement were we had storage so I opened the door.  What I saw next will forever be burned into my memory.  It was one of those moments when time stood still.  Yellow and orange flames completely engulfed this part of the basement.  The beams holding the main level above the basement, Christmas ornaments, the toys I played with as a kid, clothes we were storing and a stove that we used when we had large parties. What lasted just a few seconds seemed like minutes as I watched these flames erase memories from my past.  In this moment, I knew I would not be able to stop the fire.  But I would do everything I could.  3 fire extinguishers, our garden hose, milk, baking powder, etc.  I was running out of options.  The heat from the fire filled and emanated from the house.  It was so hot that I had to cover myself as the skin on my arms and face were hurting from being inside.  I was getting desperate.  I grabbed a gallon of milk and ran down the stairs in one last attempt to control the flames.  I blindly threw the container in the the fog of smoke as the heat was preventing me from getting any closer or see where I was going.  It was pitch dark.  I could hear our fire alarms going off, the sound of burning wood crackling and my mother calling my name to get out.  I started climbing the stairs back up.  I was getting dizzy from the smoke inhalation and my vision was blacking out.  I knew I couldn't stay any longer.  My mother and I held each other in our front yard as we watch the smoke and flames build and slowly erase our past.

The next day, I woke up in a hotel, took a third shower to try and remove the smoke smell from my hair and threw on some new clothes we bought from Walmart.  Everything in the house was a loss.  If not consumed by the fire, it was damaged by the smoke or fire hoses.  Having breakfast with our family and some friends who came over to support us, I found a letter that came to me from the school of education at UW Oshkosh (UWO).  The education program at UWO was very competitive and difficult to get into.  Although I had a declared major I still had to get into the school of education to complete my degree.  "Thank you for applying for the school of education at UWO.  Although you are a highly qualified candidate, we regret to inform you that your application was denied."  At this moment, I thought to myself..."I'm homeless and I have no idea what my future holds for me"

After all the dealings with the insurance company, we decided to rebuild on the original foundation of our new hope.  Demolition crews came and tore down the remaining structure of the home and the next week the rebuild began.  I felt ownership over being part of the rebuild process.  My father died of cancer when I was 15 and ever since, I felt like I was the "man of the house."  I felt it was my responsibility to look after our family and care for them.  So, that summer I became a "meat head" member of a small construction crew owned by a local family.  Bill, the father and Sam the son took me under their wing to train me.  I mainly did things that were physical in nature and required low skill, hence the "meat head" title.  But, they were always looking to teach me.  I respected the family.  They were men of great faith and values.  After my father died, I had a change of view in my faith and became an atheist.  I couldn't accept that there as a God out there who wanted the best for us but could allow so many bad things happen to good people like my father.  Still, I respected the family because I believed in hard work, achievement and personal growth.  These were the commandments of my own religion!

Over the summer months, I developed a relationship with Bill and Sam.  We talked often about our viewpoints in life, values and beliefs.  One day on our way to get more lumber from Home Depot, Bill pulled the car over in the parking lot, pulled out his King James Bible and shared some of his personal story with me.  The struggles he went through in life with addiction and how he needed God to change his heart.  Bill saw spiritual turmoil inside of me brewing.  He saw himself years ago.  He took 5 minutes to do something that he had no idea how it was going to be received.  Bill invited me to know and accept Jesus Christ into my life.  I am a very strong willed (aka stubborn) individual.  I told Bill I was honored he would share his faith story with me and invite me to join him but I told him I was "fine' with my beliefs. Bill respected my position and said if I ever needed to talk about anything, he would be there.  Above anything else, I was so honored Bill took this time to speak to me from his heart.  It's something so rare in this world and especially rare among men.

After much thought, I decided to make some changes to my college direction.  I felt a desire to work with people on their health and wellness.  I've always had a passion for coaching and helping people reach their potential.  I had a degree in history education but after not being admitted to the school of education, I kept the history part but removed education.  I added exercise science and health promotion as a major and also a minor strength and conditioning.  At this point I was a double major and double minor.  This change meant I was in for the long haul!

I started year 5 of my college career.  At this point, all of the friends I developed had graduated and moving on with life.  I rented an apartment for myself.  I buried myself deeper into my studies than ever before.  I had high credit loads, took on a coaching position at a local school and started to do something I truly hated...running!  See as a discus thrower, you despise anything long and drawn out without a high level of intensity.  Each throw of the discus lasted a few seconds and when you add up the total time of competition in a track meet for a thrower it equals less than a minute.  Why run?  Two reasons. First, I wanted to be fit physically.  Being a retired thrower is kind of like a football lineman.  You either change your health habits and become healthier or you gain weight and become less healthy!  Second, under the surface my heart was unsettled.  I was struggling with the emotions I was asking myself.  "What am I doing with my life?"  "Will I make it?"  "Why am I here?"  "What is my purpose?"  Running gave me a chance to quiet my mind and explore my heart.  I remember my first run.  I didn't have any expensive running shoes.  After the fire, our clothing purchases were focused on essentials.  The first pair of shoes I purchased were white Velcro sneakers.  The kind that your grandfather wears golfing or to workout out in the back yard.  So, one night late after studying I strapped up my Velcro and hit the street.  I picked a 1-mile route.  This is the furthest I'd ever run.  The night was pitch dark in a neighborhood that had no lights, only lots of trees and a ton of rolling hills.  Off I went a little nervous of the long journey ahead! In the darkness, I could barely see the road.  I could feel the air coming in and out of my lungs and I could hear my footsteps and breath rate.  Not long after running I got into a groove where these three sounds seemed to work in sync and my head cleared.  It was an amazing run which took about 15 minutes.  Definitely not a respectable time by any means.  When I finished, my head was clear and my heart was open.  I feel to my knees and wept.  This was the beginning.

While I felt clear and content spiritually during my runs, I found that this clarity opened the way for deeper feelings.  This year of college was the most difficult emotionally.  It was marked with so many moments of clarity but also deeper struggles.  I became very good at hiding my emotions.  On the surface I was a proud, high performing, self-respecting young adult who got exceptional grades, was very physically fit and focused on my path.  Underneath, my heart was dying.  The emotions were stirring.  I was experiencing severe depression which lasted for months and then years.  When someone lives life where their heart is in constant state of hurt, they will find anything, even if it makes them feel better for a short time.  A band aid is a first priority.  For me, food became my band aid.  The chemical release of endorphins you get from eating has been shown to closely mimic drugs, alcohol, exercise and sex.  In secret I used food to fill a void.  I would binge eat massive amounts in secret in my apartment by myself.  I would do this night after night.  I would find myself waking up on the bathroom floor, cheeks crusty from tears with my body and mind paying the toll.  Each day I woke up promising myself I wouldn't do it again.  I took a shower, put on my running shoes and painfully worked out the poison I put in my body and heart.  This lasted for years and only got worse.

Then I met Tiffany.  A girl who worked at a coffee shop who had a heart that I can only describe as "grace".  Being around Tiffany instantly made me feel better.  I became a coffee person just to stalk her at the shop she worked at.  I would go and "study" at the coffee shop during the day only to peek over my books and to have a passing conversation.  Turns out, she was noticing me to and eventually I wrangled up the courage to ask her out!  On our first date, we went to a local park to have a picnic and go for a walk.  We began talking and getting to know each other and the first thing Tiffany asked me was "what's your viewpoint on God?"  I was open about my atheism beliefs.  She respectfully listened to my position but also challenged me.  I could tell she genuinely cared.  Cautiously, Tiffany continued to date me.  Her values told her to be careful as she was very strong about her faith beliefs and wanted to be with someone who shared these beliefs.  But, something told her to continue on.  We had long conversations about God, the universe, good vs. evil and all things spiritual.  I viewed the conversations intriguing while Tiffany was chipping away at my heart.  We dated for a few months and eventually that winter came home to visit my family for Christmas.  On the way home, Tiffany asked me how I was doing with my faith journey.  I told her that I was ready.  My heart was longing more than ever.  I spent many nights crying for help and I no longer wanted a band aid.  I wanted peace, forgiveness, love and a sense of purpose.  Tiffany said "are you ready?"  "Ready for what?" I replied.  Are you ready to accept Jesus as your savior?  Without a moment's hesitation I said "YES!"  "Ok, then pray this prayer out loud."  "Ok, here goes..."  Nothing came out of my mouth.  The instant I tried to speak, my throat swelled, I began to sweat, shake and cry.  I didn't know what to do.  Tiffany was getting worried too!  Eventually, I stopped the car not feeling like I could safely drive.  I pulled off the highway, got out, feel to my needs, looked up at the stars in the sky and cried like I never had before.  Then, I prayed and felt a level of peace I never have before.  For the first time, I felt what true forgiveness and love was.  I had felt Jesus Christ in my heart.

Sometimes we choose our direction in life.  Sometimes the direction chooses us.  It is essential that we intentionally plan how to impact other people's lives but also understand that some of the biggest opportunities are ones that come to us.  Don't be too focused on the road ahead that you miss all the beauty that's around you.  God will put these steps in your path as people, situations and thoughts. Sometimes these are painful situations.  Sometimes they are joyful.  Sometimes they are so clear but most of the time they are subtle.  God will not force you to make this choice.  He will give you glimpses of hope and then an opportunity to step in faith.  Why does he do this?  Because God craves a relationship with us.  A relationship that can only be strong through faith.  In just 5 minutes, God used Tiffany and Bill to challenge my faith.  They listened and acted not because it was easy, but because it was hard.  What opportunities come your way to grow from others?  What opportunities come your way to help others grow?  I pray that you have your ears open to these opportunities and don't pass them by.

Fire. It makes everything new.

If you have a story about how five minutes changed your life that you would like to share, email adam.lofquist@gmail.com

There is No One Tip for Success

According to IBISWorld, the fitness industry is a $30 billion industry that employs over 642,000 people¹. A simple Google search of “How to get fit” had over 92 million search results.

Take a look for workouts to lose weight, gain muscle, or get in better shape. There are millions of them out there. If you look at Men’s Fitness there will always be a new workout regimen to get a ripped body. The kicker, there are people that get results and people that fail miserably.

The problem is not too many workouts or gyms but it is that we assume any workout will work for us.  If there was only one way, how the hell can so many gyms exist?

We apply this same illogical thinking to success. Constantly there is a new study that has the one key attribute to a successful life. We study the habits of the extremely successful. What are their morning rituals, what do they eat, when do they get up and what kind of leader are they? Just to name a few. Just because you get up at 4:00 AM does not make you successful. Simply sleeping on the floor of your office and working countless hours will not make you successful as well.

The problem is that we buy into these ideas without thinking about ourselves first. We focus too much on just being successful with defining what it means to us. As an example think of planning a trip to New York with no map, compass, GPS or guidance of any kind. In fact you have no idea where you are even departing from. You may not even have a car or a plane ticket and better yet we may not even want to go to New York, we only chose New York because that is the “popular” place. If you never wanted to go to New York in the first place, you will most likely not be too excited when you get there just as when you do not clearly define what success looks like for yourself.

Here are some tips to reach your own success.

Define Success: If you do not know where you want to go, how will you know when you have arrived? There is no singular definition of success. In fact there is at least one definition of success for every person on this earth.  In order to truly reach success you need to know what success means to you.

Stop worrying about what others are doing: It is rare that you will find someone that has a close definition of success like you do, so stop worrying about how everyone else defines success. Even if you do have someone that has the exact same idea of success, your paths will be different, do what works for you.

Keep at it: You have a higher chance of being successful, the less often you give up.

Life is not a race, stop worrying about who is on the course: I hate to ruin the ending but in the end we all die. No tombstone has “He was better than BLANK” or “She beat BLANK”, stop worrying about everyone around you and focus on yourself.

^{1 http://www.ibisworld.com/industry/default.aspx?indid=1655}

Leaders, Followers and YOU

In a recent news headline, with everything going on in our country, the question was asked if either Hillary or Trump could unite us.

The question really hit home with me. Not because of the choices but because we put so much of our success as a country into just one person?

The question makes me believe that we are throwing our hands up and telling ourselves that we are not good enough or smart enough to come together.

As the old saying goes, “You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink”. Whoever wins the next election can lead us to the source but until all of us and yes that means you drinks, that is all they can do. If they try and force it down our throats they will drown us.

Then it hit me, this goes beyond our political and social environment it affects our work lives as well.

How many times have you silently waited for your boss or president of your organization unite you, while you silently point out all the things they have done wrong and wonder why they have not taken action?

At times leaders have it the worst. They are watched not only by their employees but the board, customers, clients, vendors, partners and competition. Whatever happens is ultimately their responsibility.

I am not arguing that they should not be held responsible or that they should not be a leader that unites people. My point is that we all have a part to play in the future success of not just your organization but your country as well.

We should no longer point the finger at our leaders and blame them for everything they did wrong. They are human and they make mistakes. We need to focus on ways to get past these mistakes and focus on our future if we truly want to be successful.

Here are some tips to help you do that.

Let go of your ego: Your ego wants to protect your image, it is okay to be wrong and it is okay to not get your way. If something happens that you do not like, acknowledge it, deal with it and get past it. Focus on what is best for the organization.

Listen to understand, not to judge: Often times when we listen to someone, we do to help us judge them or respond to them. The problem is that we are not really hearing them when we focused on our respond.

Talk to people that you do not agree with and stop trying to prove your point: Ask questions, value them and learn from them. If there was one simple solution, why are we all so different? Learn from people.

Find what you have in common with people: We are far too often focused on what we do not agree with someone one. “I cannot be friends with blank because they believe…” first listen to them and find out what you do have in common. This is not a free pass for people to be jerks and if you want to try and act like that, please grow up.

Believe that people are doing the best they can: This one hit me hard. In “Rising Strong” by Brene Brown and she talks about this concept and how she struggled with it. She does a great job at explaining it but the message is, see people for who they are not for who you want them to be. No one is perfect and people are going to make mistakes.

We cannot rely on one solo leader because when they step down or die, we are lost. We must be a part of the change that we want to see and support our leaders and sometimes that means taking the first step.

Four Words that Will Change Your Life

“How can I help?” will get your further than you could have ever imagined.

There will be people that will take advantage of you, help anyway. Never let negative people stop you from doing something incredible. Invest and believe in the best.

How will it change your life?

What you put out into the world is what you attract. When you are willing to help others, amazing things start to happen.

It will build your own self-worth. Your life is not just about what you can do for yourself it is also about how you can help others. When you take time to look beyond yourself and help someone you realize how much of an impact you can have on the world and prove that you matter.

It feels amazing. It just feels good to help other people in your life.

You never know how one small act can change your life or the lives of those around you. The world is filled with enough negative propaganda already. We hear too much about all the bad and not enough about the good. It is easy to get depressed because of this. Inspire someone by helping them.

You will lose nothing; we are far too concerned in what we will lose by helping people. The truth is that even if the person you help uses you, you will still come out ahead. You will learn, grow and prosper because of it.

Here are seven tips to make the most out of those four words.

1. You cannot make anyone successful and it has nothing to do with your talent or how hard you try. Success lies with the person that is trying to achieve it and it is a hands-on experience. Do not drive the car for them, give them directions.
2. You cannot help everyone at the same time. Think of it as an elevator. You can cram as many people as you want into an elevator but at some point it will not close, move or it may get stuck. Keep room open.
3. Help people that fill you up and make you happy. Do not spend time with those people that piss you off or make you mad.
4. Do not help out of guilt or shame. These are powerful emotions and if you are doing it just because you feel like you have to, your advice will be worthless.
5. Do good and expect nothing in return. Life does not keep score. I know some of the nicest people that have been through the toughest times and there are people out there meaner than anything you could imagine, that have it all. The point is to stop expecting something in return because that is when you will get nothing and you deserve nothing.
6. Help people but make time for yourself. You do not have to be Mother Teresa. The best way to help other people is to figure out what you want out of your life first.
7. Ask for help yourself, this one was huge for me to get over. I thought that when I asked for help I was letting people down but in reality I was connecting with people and I was showing them that I was smarter than trying to do it on my own. 

The Power of Team

This is a guest post by my friend Aaron Hunnel. Aaron is a public speaker that will help your organization and team members live with positivity, passion and purpose. Learn more about Aaron or how to hire him to speak at your organization at http://aaronhunnel.com/

People are one of the greatest resources we have at our fingertips to help us succeed in life. From the moment we are born into this world until the moment we pass away, we are influenced, affected and changed by people. Understanding this relationship is extremely important. We all have different strengths, talents and treasures. We all have different experiences, perspectives and definitions of success. What sets the human race apart from other species is our ability to look beyond our differences, find our similarities, and come together to support one another. This heuristic approach to life is one of the most sustainable and productive forms of building a community, or more particularly, a team.

Teams are quite commonplace in all levels of society. A band, comprised of a guitar, drummer and singer is essentially a team. An organization, made up of different levels of management, departments, and leaders, again is essentially a team. Take a gander at what a quarterback, wide receiver, offensive line, defense, and coaching staff all have in common – you guessed it, they are all part of a team. See the pattern here? We have teams at all levels of society. You could even stretch this conceptualization of teamwork a bit further and argue that communities, territories, states, nations, continents and even the world is one really BIG team. Some are flourishing as teams, embodied with the collective values and vision to which each member is committed. Then there are other teams, who are struggling, much-in-part because of their inability to find a way to come together.

You’ve probably heard the term before, “A team is only as strong as its weakest link.” Well, I believe that’s wrong, because all members of a team play a viable role in each other’s success. If you believe that someone is your weakest link, you’re likely to treat them as such. This mindset can create an unhealthy dynamic, and put a lot of pressure on the “weakest” to the point that it disrupts the team’s ability to focus on their vision, their values and achieving that which they (the team) want to achieve.

A more appropriate saying would be – A team is only as strong as its ability TO link. That means, a team’s likelihood of success depends on how a team can gel, come together, and use the strengths of each other to create a solid foundation for success. If you focus on someone’s weakness, you are likely to miss their strengths. Capitalizing on strengths are necessary for this “linking” to occur. Here are a couple ideas of how and how not to bring a team together:

1. Understand the following model in terms of how they relate to group dynamics.
1. Forming – This is the initial stage were people in the team start to learn about others on their team. Some may feel a bit anxious about meeting new people or about what others will think of them. As relationships begin to grow, the team will move into the next stage.
2. Storming – During this stage, the team starts to push the boundaries beyond a simple relationship with each other. Authority can be challenged. Conflict is likely to arise. Some may resist the direction of others. Understand that this is all part of the process. One very important piece during this stage however, is that there is some sort of mediation and resolution. Conflict can be healthy, but only if the intent is to resolve said conflict and use it to learn and grow together. Unresolved conflict can lead to various degrees of angst, turmoil and individualism within the team and prolong the ability to cohesively align vision, goals and values. Once a team can effectively surmount conflict, they will gain greater insight and clarity for what they are wanting and move into the next phase.
3. Norming – During this stage, teams resolve to respect differences and appreciate strengths. Cohesiveness becomes particularly strong, and the commitment to each other trumps the commitment to self. As this mindset and dynamic increases and improves, teams move into the final phase.
4. Performing – During this phase, teams begin to peak towards growth and commitment, and performance perpetually increases. Relationships are strong, strengths are affluent, and people are socially driven to perform in regards to the success of the team, rather than perform to the success of the individual.

It is important to note that a team can move between any stages of this dynamic. This fluctuation can be healthy and empower teams to become resilient and develop processes and procedures that help move towards performance, true performance. Many teams are stuck in the norming phase. They cannot move past this phase because there is too much focus on self, a lack of leadership to guide the team, or criticizing others’ weaknesses, rather than recognizing strengths. The most successful teams are fluid and can move between each phase with the understanding, awareness and intention of learning, growing and commitment.

1. Another great concept around developing strong teams is the idea of groupthink. While many of us focus on what we Should do, we must also consider what we Should Not do. That’s where groupthink comes in. Groupthink is an inefficient decision-making process of teams who think that they are invulnerable to poor ideas albeit through a myriad of dynamics, most of which include members feeling that they can voice objections, alternative considerations, or unethical dilemmas. Sometimes groups develop ideas and implementations which result in disastrous courses of action. All-the-while this disaster could have been avoided had team members voiced their opinions. This term, introduced by Irving Janis in the 1970’s, includes 8 symptoms:
1. Illusion of invulnerability – Having excessive optimism in the idea(s) around extreme risk-taking.
2. Collective rationalization – Avoiding clear and present warnings and false or illogical assumptions.
3. Belief in inherent morality – Believing that the cause is noble and ignore ethical and moral consequences.
4. Stereotyped views of out-groups – Constructing negative views of those who are outside the group.
5. Direct pressure on dissenters – Considering those who oppose and argue ideas, stereotypes or commitment in the group as disloyal.
6. Self-censorship – Withholding a viewpoint that contradicts a perceived group consensus.
7. Illusion of unanimity – Assuming that everyone agrees with the decision just because some are silent or do not express discontent.
8. Mindguards – Protecting the group from information which threatens the group’s cohesiveness or complacency.

Examples of groupthink occur all the time, sometimes without our awareness. For example, the tobacco companies made their industry seem like the dangers of tobacco use was inconclusive and prolonged the buy-in from Americans around negative health risk. A more practical example in the workplace could be a manager enforcing a rule that prohibits employees from talking with one another while at work. This example, which falls under the pretext of “Belief in inherent morality,” suggests that employees will be more focused on their work if they don’t speak with others. While this might seem like a noble cause to get the most out of employees while on-the-clock for an organization, one would quickly realize that depriving employees of such an inherent need – basic human psychological need to connect with others – will backfire. And what you would likely find is that whoever is enforcing this illogical system has put into place a dynamic where team members are afraid to speak their mind for fear of retaliation (self-censorship) and also does not take input from those outside the group who provides negative, constructive feedback (stereotyped views of out-groups) on the secondary and tertiary consequences of this disastrous action. Consequently, the group will become less productive, have greater frustration, and not support their manager- thus failing as a team.

So how can you avoid the product of groupthink? Try the following:

1. Explicitly emphasize team members to remain impartial
2. Encourage disagreement
3. Assign a team member to be the “devil’s advocate”
4. Ask for outside opinion
5. Encourage discussion outside of the meeting
6. Ask for everyone’s true opinion and value their input

Teamwork is often seen as something that is extremely difficult or hard because of the work it requires to bring people together. Some of us say, all I can focus on is myself. Well, that mindset will counter any ability to increase group cohesiveness. Remember the best teams are those who find a way to put their differences aside, and find the similarities which bring them together. It may be challenging at first, especially if you have a dynamic that has poor, highly-engrained processes and procedures. But, often the hardest things are the most rewarding. Use the strengths of each other. Find the best attributes of one another. Communicate, communicate, communicate by listening first, and talking second. Above all, don’t focus on your weakest link, rather focus on THE link that will empower members of the team to rise above themselves, buy into the collective vision and values, and embark upon the journey as a single unit, a team. 

Lessons from the "15 Initiative"

The mission for the “15 Initiative” is for people to uncover their true potential to see that they are capable of pretty much anything they put their mind to. The people I run for live this. They do not accept the world as it is, they go and change it and make it better, make the most of it and never give up.

1. Have a vision of where you want to go: If you have no idea where you are going, it is easy to get lost and not even know it. There were some goals established for the initiative, there could have been more. We had simple goals, complete 15 endurance events and raise $15,000. I never gave a story that was more compelling than the fact that I wanted to raise money. I did not talk about the challenge or the mission just the how and what, never the why.

2. Have a flexible plan: Know where you want to go, have direction be open to change course. The campaign presented a lot of opportunities to prove this to me over and over again. I struggled on choosing a strict course that was never left to just letting things happen. When you have the strict course you miss out on so many opportunities but when you wander you never get anywhere. If the titanic would have changed its course, it may have made it, instead it kept its course. Do not let your predetermined course be the reason you sink.

3. Be All-IN: It is scary to be all-in, when we are all-in we can get hurt, we are vulnerable and exposed. It is where the magic happens where we grow. This is the place where you learn how great you really are. You always have a choice in life, you can sink in or you can do a cannonball and make some waves.

4. Embrace the suck: Pain, suffering, agony and struggling we are told are bad. That when it happens to us we must be getting punished for something we did. We begin to think that we are far too weak to handle it and feel bad for ourselves.

The truth: Embrace the suck. Embrace what hurts and learn as much as you can from it. You are not being punished; you are being given an opportunity to learn and to grow. Ask for help, people are always willing to help.

5. Act: We freak ourselves out way too much, we worry that if we act we will fail and the humor of it all is that when we refuse act, we have already failed by default. I know from personal experience. In the initiative when I was stuck instead of doing anything I would just think about it and worry about it and surprisingly nothing ever happened.

We are addicted to perfection. We want every decision that we make to be perfect. Life does not work that way. No matter how hard you try, something always could have been better. There does not need to be a winner and a loser, in fact everyone can win but that by no means it will be perfect.

6. You are going to fail: This initiative was a failure; I did not raise as much money as I set out to raise. Failure happens, it is nothing to be afraid of and it is nothing to shy away from or to deny. When we talk about failure, even when we talk about how it is a good thing, we are afraid to say it out loud. Stop being afraid, embrace it, learn from it and grow from it. The only way you will not fail is if you do nothing your entire life and that is the greatest failure of all.

7. Define what matters: 15 endurance events in a year while raising money takes up a lot of time. It means sacrificing a lot, early mornings, late nights and barely a social life. If this sounds like it sucks, it did, but what this means is that you are forced to decide what really matters to you. Your time in general is limited, so invest it in people, things, and ideas that you truly believe in.

8. Busyness is an addiction: Since completing my last event for 15, I have a lot more free time. It felt that when I was not doing anything I was doing something wrong and I was lazy. I was addicted to being busy. When you are busy it feels as if your life has meaning, that you are contributing in some way and that you are not wasting a single breath, no one wants to wake up and realize they wasted their life but do not be so busy you forget to live.

9. Be consistent and persistent:  Just keep after it, repeatedly, this is how you build a habit. The only way you are going to get better at running is to improve upon your running, is by practice. This is just like life. The only way you are going to improve is if you constantly try to improve on being better. When you start, it sucks but it gets easier. The challenges should not get easier, but it will become easier to start.

10. Trust Yourself: We are capable of so much we know that we just have a hard time convincing ourselves that we are right and that we could be that freaking amazing. We trust so many people in our life and yet the person that we should trust the most, our self, is the person we trust the least. We are filled with self-doubt that keeps us down and stops us from doing so much. Trust yourself, there will be pain, it will hurt and it will be uncomfortable but you can handle it.

11. Have Fun: If a terminal cancer patient can have fun, you sure as hell can have fun in your life. This is not written to make you feel bad about yourself. My hope is that it inspires the hell out of you to constantly look for ways to have fun and ways to enjoy life, to make the most out of it.  Fun is not goofing off, you can have fun working and making a huge difference in the world, it is all about how you look at it. Be intentional and see the greatness of the world. Enjoy every moment even when it sucks.

12. Get back up: One of my half-Ironmans was with a myTEAM Triumph-Wisconsin. I was lucky enough to be placed with my friends Rebecca and Chris. The swim was crazy but lucky for me, I had Rebecca, one of the best swimmers I know to lead us. Swimming past the breakers the waves kept getting bigger and I could not catch my breath, so I stopped and tried again, it happened again and I tried again until I finally gave up and was taken out of the swim.

I did not complete the swim portion of the triathlon, I was able to participate with my team for the bike and run. I got back up. When something goes wrong does not mean you jump ship, it means you readjust.

13. Intentionally Be Present: Live in the moment but realize what you want life to bring to you. Do not worry about looking stupid just be present. Make the most out of every situation and enjoy it. Stop thinking and just start living. We ruin some of the best moments in our life by wondering what could have been better and where we could have improved, while it is important to have a path to grow, do not let your mistakes get in your way from growing and enjoying the moment.

14. Step outside your comfort zone: It is the only way to grow. It does not have to be a leap; it can be a baby step but keep expanding that comfort zone so you can see what you are really made of. The challenges will come. You can seek them or you hide from them. Life does not become easier, you just become less afraid.

15. Be Unlimited: Your life is only limited to your belief.  You can do whatever you want, even if you fail, who the hell cares, at least you tried. If you are not there yet it does not mean that you will never be there, it will take work and it will hurt but you are going to get there, you have to believe that to get there. Trust me, you will get there. Your potential is unlimited.

An Unusual Characteristic of Great Teams

Recently a close friend and I got into an argument over a situation. We did not resort to name calling but it did get a little heated between the two of us. In the end we put the discussion behind us and we agreed to disagree on the idea and did not let it ruin our friendship. A majority of us believe today and that is that great teams never disagree. We see a team and we believe that they are always in sync and always get along. That is not the case.

Great teams argue, disagree and get mad but they always get along and trust one another. My friend trusted me enough to tell me how she felt, I was comfortable enough to tell her how I felt. This may sound like a bad team but really it is a characteristic of a great team. We both trusted one another enough to be open and honest, get frustrated and have an honest and real discussion. How many dysfunctional teams can do that?

Take some time to think about what you want to say next so that you do not say something that is filled with emotion. We both used this strategy and talked with intention instead of with emotion. If you feel like you need to respond right away, you are not communicating to resolve the situation or find the best situation but you are talking to win and that is an issue. Do not focus on being right focus on finding the best solution.

In the end we decided that our friendship was worth more than our disagreement and that is another characteristic of a great team. Great teams focus on the big picture, the outcome or whatever you want to call it, not their pride. They may have disagreements of how to get there and they may get mad at one another but in the end, they decide that the long-term is more important. They are able to put aside their differences and truly engage with one another. The do not hold a grudge when it does not go their way, instead they get back in the game. When a decision is made, they all agree to get behind it even if they did not win, they do not try to sabotage it, overthrow the idea or make it a failure, they give it everything they have to make the best of it.

Success Sucks

Life is a series of choices that made every second that domino down the line. Your choice this very minute affects the rest of your life.

There is a lot of discussion around what success is and what it is not. My personal view is that success is doing what sucks, what is hard and what is painful to get to a greater place in your life.

I think back to Ironman and I know that I use it a lot but it has so many values to me. I am sure that your passion or your hobby has taught you many lessons as well.

As I got off the bike and made my way into transition, I was feeling okay. I knew that all I had left was to run 26.2 miles and I would be done. Within a mile of the run, I knew it was going to be painful. My legs were cramping and I could not get my nutrition and water in check. I knew that I had a long road of suffering ahead of me.

The reason that many people do Ironman is the very reason why so many people choose not to do Ironman, it sucks. The time you have to put into it just to get to the start line giving up your social life to stay on your training schedule. Feeling the fatigue and pain as your workouts get longer and longer and increase in intensity. Then you get to race day and it sucks some more. The whole day, no matter how good you are, is a struggle and it should be.

The difference is that the people that compete in an Ironman know that it sucks but let the feeling of crossing that finish line and the experience triumph over the pain. This is the key to life. Embrace the suck.

The key to success is not doing what makes you happy or trying to find your passion much less follow it. Success is taking the obstacles head on, making the hard choice and doing what is right, not what is easy.

We have been told that success is accomplishing great goals and winning but what if we reframed the way we think to see success as the work that we put into it. The moment we decide to take the hard way, the road less traveled and do what is best, not what is the easiest.

Do not get me wrong, I still see success as a conglomerate of things but a majority of what we see as success is really the output of choosing to make the best decision. We know what success looks like in the end but most of us have no clue how to get there.

How do you get to be a millionaire, by having a million dollars, pretty simple, right?  However the road to getting to a million dollars is a series of hard choices, do I go out tonight and spend my money, have a good time or do I save my money, invest it and hold off for the long term goals.

Success is not an accident; it is a series of hard choices.

The greatest part is that you can be successful today, even if you chose to not be successful for a single moment in your life prior to this. It is just one decision away from changing your life. Go be successful.

What I learned from Ironman

Ironman some say it is the toughest thing you could ever do, to me it is one of the greatest things you will ever do. I love endurance athletics because you get to push your mind, body  and spirit to new limits and all of the les

sons that you learn while you do them. Here are some of the lessons that I learned about life and success from completing an Ironman.

Focus on where you want to go. I signed up for Ironman being a very poor swimmer and now; I am just a poor swimmer. I can always get better and that is the point, I can get better. I knew my weakness and what it would take but I focused on where I wanted to go Stop waiting for the right time because there will never be a right time. There will always be something wrong. Stop waiting for when you are ready because there will always be an excuse. Forget what you do not know or what you cannot do, you will get there, just commit to getting there.

One small step. Is how you complete an Ironman, change the world or change your life. One step after the other. An Ironman  is really not that complicated. You just need to keep going. One stroke after the other, one pedal stroke and one foot in front of the other, if you just keep moving you will get to your destination, never give up. It is a balance of figuring out how far you have to go and focusing on that next step. Just keep moving in the right direction.

Everyone travels at a different pace, but all that matters is getting to the finish. It does not matter your pace as long as you keep moving forward and meet the deadline. We get too caught up in trying to keep up with everyone else that it ends up hurting us. As I said before I am a poor swimmer. If I were to try and keep up with the great swimmers I would be dead on the bike and the run and I may not cross the finish line. This happens in real life. We see the success of our friends and we get happy for them but we get mad at ourselves. We tell ourselves that we should be there and we should be that successful. If we would have just worked harder and done more, we would be there. We look at all of our failures and tell ourselves we are not good enough. We stop, give up and are out of the game. Remember that your pace is your pace and you will get there. Whether that be crossing the finish line or reaching another goal that you have, you have what it takes. Some parts will take you longer and others will take you shorter, just focus on getting there.

Ask for help. Surround yourself that have the same passion as you but have different insights. My friend Kare Anderson is an expert in this area. How can your differences help the people around you and how can their differences help you? From reading this post you know that I suck at swimming.  I take every opportunity that I can to learn how to be a better swimmer. I also take every opportunity I can to help push people past their limits to live more. I will help people in any way that I can, not for the recognition but to see that person grow. It is amazing to see that your investment in a person can truly become a lifetime of change. Even it is not a lifetime, just for a moment it is worth it.

Embrace what sucks. Stop doing what is easy and what does not hurt. It is okay to become broken, worn and be filled with pain, because that is where all the growth happens. We think that when we fall or when it gets hard we are weak and that is a lie. The truth is that we are truly the weakest when it becomes easy. There is no challenge so there is no growth. Whether we want to believe it or not, we are tough enough to do anything that we want. Stop looking for the easiest way out because it is the easiest way for a reason, there is little value in taking the easy way if any value at all.

Thank the people that help you get there. Ironman is amazing for a number of reasons but one of the biggest ones for me are the volunteers and the spectators. Here are people that get up early, stay up late, stand around for hours, travel, take time out of their day, cheer for you and help you and they do it all for you and ask nothing in return. I know that you have those people in your life. Remember to thank them for being right there with you before, during and after your journey. Far too often we focus on proving everyone wrong that told us we could not do it, we waste time that we could be focusing on those that knew we could all along.

Forget about the medal. I get joy in the experience and the relationships that I get to build during not only these events but during the training. I have made some of my best friends over endurance events and you can talk these people about anything. Medals get lost and they get dusty, these friendships, memories and lessons will never fade. Not only do you get to see how great you are, you get to see how great others are and how far they can go. The takeaway for this in real life is to stop focusing on the extrinsic values and start to focus intrinsic values. Do not be successful just to be successful, define why you want to successful and what will motivate you to get there

Your end result is all about what you put into it. We hear a lot about overnight success stories. The success is not due to luck but because the person that had the success stayed up all night and working their ass off. This is not only true for endurance events but in life as well. If you are not getting where you want to go; give some more, try harder and try it a different way. You cannot expect excellent results when you only give mediocre effort.

Remember why you started. When it gets tough and when it starts to hurt, remember why you started. When it gets easy, you start to enjoy it and you begin to smile, remember why you started. When you feel like giving up, remember why you started. Ironman is a journey and life is a journey.  Making a choice to live bolder is a journey. There will be times when you want to give up but don’t, always remember why you started; it will fuel you to accomplish anything that you want. Always remember why you started.

Show your appreciation. Ironman is amazing for a number of reasons but one of the biggest ones for me are the volunteers and the spectators. Here are people that get up early, stay up late, stay around for hours all for you and ask nothing in return. I know that you have those people in your life. Remember to thank them for being right there with you before, during and after your journey. 

Your end result is all about what you put into it. We hear a lot about overnight success stories and my guess is that it is not due to luck but because the person that had the success stayed up all night and gave everything that they had. This is not only true for endurance events but in life as well. If you are not getting where you want to go, give some more, try harder and try it a different way. You cannot expect excellent results when you only give mediocre effort.

The Starbucks "FIasco"

I will admit it, I was not a huge fan of the #RaceTogether campaign that Starbucks CEO, Howard Schultz started earlier this month. I understood the concept but I thought the vehicle he chose to deliver the message was ultimate not the right decision. That being said Schultz also had a big hand in buying a 3.8 million dollar business and turning it 13 billion dollar giant, that started a movement of coffee houses to pop up all over the world, so chances are, he may know a thing or two about business and as big of a mistake as the #RaceTogether idea may have been, Schultz once again proved why he will continue to be successful in business.

He is not afraid of failure. When the #RaceTogether idea was first announced, not many people bought into it. I am willing to bet, Schultz knew that it could be a failure but he did it anyway. He took a chance and it did not turn out well but the key is, he took a chance. While everyone else was poking holes in his idea, he was out on the battlefield taking a risk and seeing where it would take him and the organization. He did not just talk about it, he did something about it. How many times in your organization has your leader talked about making a change but has never pulled the trigger?

I know that today when the news came out that it was being cut, cut back, removed or whatever you want to call it, many including myself at first yelled “I told you so!” the only unfortunate thing is that I was in Minneapolis and Schultz was not by me. In this reverse course is further proof that Schultz will continue to be successful and another lesson for not only for business but for life as well, when you are going the wrong direction, change course. Schultz may have had to eat his words but the fact is, he was not afraid to do it. He did what was best for the organization and put the fact that it would make him look bad on the back burner; he put the long-term goals of the organization ahead of the short-term. In everyone’s life there has been a time where you have had to change your course even when you knew it would suck.

There are a few lessons from this #RaceTogether that you can apply to not only your business but your life as well. The first is to stop being afraid to make mistakes, mistakes will always happen. You can choose the mistake of not trying or make a mistake while trying. In one you know the results; in the other the doors are open. The second thing we can learn is that if you want to see change, you must take action. Schultz did not want change he tried to create it. While most people just sit around and wait he took initiative. Another lesson I want to touch on is the fact that too often we only focus on the results. Far too often it is either a pass or fail grade. We forget the most important part, what we learned in the middle, those critical lessons that we must learn to be successful and that made us successful. The final lesson I want to point out is that no matter how right you think you are, never be afraid to change your course when you see a mistake. Would you have stayed on the Titanic while it was sinking because of the “fact” that it was unsinkable? Pay attention to your surroundings and focus on the best term solution, instead of being right. 

Present

When was the last time that you can remember being fully present and not pulled in multiple directions? How did it feel and what were you able to do?

The ability to be present is key to being successful in today’s world, whether it be at work or in your social life. In a world where our attention is constantly being drawn into hundreds if not thousands of directions, the ability to focus on one thing is not only a difficult task but a critical one.

What does it mean to be present? It is beyond just showing up and checking your name off the list, it not just one thing but multiple things you must do in order to be present. It is hard to just tell people to be present as the ability to be present is not a direct input but rather an outcome of how you act. Here are some of the traits I see as needed in order to be present.

Purposeful: If you want to be present you must live with a purpose. A purpose helps you stay grounded and provides you direction. Your purpose acts as your guide to making your most critical decisions. If you are busy trying to decide what your purpose is, you will not be able to pay attention and truly be present. Don’t worry, you do not need to know your life purpose in order to be present but you need a purpose for the day. So when you wake up, pick one thing you want to focus on. It can be a project or it can be a skill that you want to improve upon and make that your focus for the day.

Respect: This applies to everything: people, projects, ideas, and whatever else you can think of. Without respect you are constantly judging people against what you think is right. You are not giving your whole self because you lack the respect that is needed to do so. Forget if the other person does not respect you, that is their choice. You have a choice and if you want to live in a life based on the decisions of other people you will never be present and more importantly you will never be living.

Listen: The ability to truly listen. It is an amazing and not used often enough and many people have the definition wrong. You are not listening if you are thinking about what to say next or what you want to say. You are not listening if you try to finish the other person’s sentence. You are not listening if you are busy on your phone or on your computer. No matter how small the “other thing” is, it is still not listening if you can focus on something else. If you truly want to be present you need to listen.

All-In: It is impossible to be present unless you are all-in, in what you are doing or the conversation that you are having. If there is anything else competing for your attention and you let it get some you are not being completely present. When you are all-in you are focused on one thing. You have to give it your best effort if you want to be present.

Courage: If you do not have courage you cannot be present because you will be too focused on being “right” and not making a mistake. You will hold yourself back from being your true self and therefore not be able to give 100% of yourself. Courage is not always facing a giant; it is sometimes it is disagreeing or making a small decision that has a big impact. It is having courage in not only the people and projects in your life but more importantly the courage of you.

Faith: Now this is has nothing to do with religion or spirituality, that is a whole different subject. This faith is the faith in yourself to begin with. Faith that you are able to do whatever you have been asked to do and that you will succeed. It is faith in everything around you and that you are on the right path. When you worry about what could be or what could go wrong, you stop yourself from being present.

Most importantly what you have to remember is that he ability to be present is a choice that cannot be faked. While it may be hard and difficult to be present, the investment is worth it. When you are present you are able to reach your fullest potential and do your best and most impactful work.

What are you waiting for?

Many times it is said that if there is a God, how can he let so much evil happen in the world?

What is forgotten is that God has done something in fact he has done, he has done about 7.2 billion things to help stop the evil in the world. God created everyone on this earth and we are the people that can stop the evil, stop the hate and make the world a better place.

There are going to be some people in this world that will tell you, the issue or idea you want to solve or implement can never happen, stop listening to them. It is going to take hard work and you may never see it in your lifetime but you can never be sure of what it may create for the future. The argument that it has never happened, so it can never happen is false, if this argument were true we would have no cars, internet or airplanes. There would still be rampant segregation, women could not vote and we would believe that the world is still flat. The fact of the matter is that the people who tell you it can never happen, do not want it to happen because it would be a change. A change in the way the world works and how it is perceived. Change is scary and sometimes sticking with what sucks even though the other option is so much better, is what happens because the fear that people have in their life is too strong and they let it control their life. Fear should never rule your life.

People need to stop complaining about how all the problems of the world are not there fault. If you stand by and complain about anything you are part of the problem, I do not care who you are, you are part of the problem. Once again we go back to the fear of change and being able to make a move. The ability to actually do something and be vulnerable keeps us at bay but it should not. We are far too strong to let it control our life.

The belief that one person cannot change the world or make a difference is false and needs to be put to rest. Every great movement in history was started by one person. Did Martin Luther King change the world by himself? No. Did Abraham Lincoln make the world a better place by himself? No. Did Maya Angelou, Mother Theresa or Ghandi change the world by themselves? No. Now you may be asking yourself, I thought you said one person could change the world and no you are going against it. My point in all of this is that while these people did not change the world by thiersleves, they choose to be the first one to make a difference and believe it could happen. What if none of these people decided to believe that they could change the world, where would we be today? The point is that you need to believe that you can change the world and then get people to rally behind you to make the change.

We get stuck when we compare ourselves to everyone on that list. I know I have thought I could never be them and I am not supposed to. While it is great to have idols and people you look up to, do not try to be exactly like them. The world does not need another “whoever” what the world needs is you. The world needs your gifts, your talents, your purpose and your passion. So start giving us your gifts because we need it.

Start with why

To begin, I should mention that much of this is inspired by Simon Sinek’s video that explains his golden circle. In the outer layer is what, the middle is how and the bullseye is why. It has to do in which the way organizations explain their product or service. However it has so much more to do with life and how to live one with passion and achieve your dreams.

For the longest time I have been involved with a lot but most of the time have not felt connected. As much as I could find a reason for the other members, mission and vision or it all being part of the progress, what it comes down to is I never gave my self permission to understand why. Why is it that I take part in everything I do? Why do I want to have an impact and why do I have the dreams I do. It is great to have a dream of changing the world but until you understand why, something will be missing.

They why is your story. It is the inspiration you drive from and help create the difference. Everything that you do is built on the foundation of why. Don’t believe me, here are some examples. A company has a choice on how they want to market themselves. They can choose to talk to their customers about what and how they create or do what they do, or they can talk about the why. Telling the story of the passion, commitment and drive they have every day when they walk in the door. The fact of the matter is, what and how will change frequently, just look at Nike. What they did in the past, selling shoes in retail markets has now changed. They sell almost any sports equipment one could imagine and a lot of it online. Yet what they do has not changed, they provide people the ability to become athletes, the ability to live a healthier life.

Live your story and start with why. In my life I have had the amazing luck to have met so many people who have the story of why down, you can tell the moment you talk to them. They have a passion and fire that cannot be put out, because they will not let it. They know that what and how is just a vessel for why and the impact they will make on the world.

The first person is Christian Jensen. He is on a mission to change the world and understands why. He wants everyone to know that they are not valued by their disability, speed or talent, but by the gifts they bring to the world. Christian realizes the why, if we let everyone know that they are not judged by their disability, they will be set on fire to change the world. Choosing to include everyone and help them be part of the team, will let them know they matter. That is what we are all looking for, to know that we matter.

Second is Peggy Eserkaln, she is on a mission to help people build better teams with communication, acceptance and trust. Peggy realizes that these three qualities are the building blocks for a great team. When this is set in the foundation, teams and organizations become dynamic and truly achieve success. She also realizes that at the very inner of every person people want acceptance and trust. They want to be supported in their dreams and help others achieve their dreams.

Third would have to be my father. He wants to help everyone succeed because he believes in the potential that every person brings to the table. Where people are right now does not determine where they will be or who they can be. The path we are all on, is meant to be a journey and every step we take will bring us closer to who we are truly meant to be.

Not once in any of these stories did I tell you what these people did, I did that on purpose. Unless you know any of the three above, you have no idea of what they do and how they do it. Yet you understand why. Do you feel inspired?

Forgive but don’t forget

Forgive but don’t forget

There is a difference between forgiveness and forgetting. One is a powerful tool that will set you free and open your future. The other is a truck that will blindside you if you do not pay attention.

In my journey I have gotten the two mixed up far too often. I forget what happened but refuse to forgive those involved, including and probably most often myself. Looking back I have noticed that it does nothing for me, I forget the cause of the problem and what should have been done and just focus on the people, looking for what they did wrong. When in reality I should forgive those involved, because 99% of the time they did it with their best intentions, and I am willing to be trick by the 1% to see the awesome power the 99% has.

When I forget what happened, I forget to learn the lesson that came along with it, most likely the reason why it happened. The lesson sits on the side of the road as I run pass it chasing those who “did wrong”. As Pat Hopkins of Imaginasium writes in a blog post “It’s about the Experience, Stupid”, I have far to often forgotten to realize the awesome potential the experience will teach me if I take a minute to learn from it and remember it.

A failure is not the end; it is a fork in the road. It is a point in time where you can realign, regroup and look at what is a head.

I will start to look for the opportunity, experience and lesson from each step in my life. I will start to forgive and love people for who they are and the talent they bring, I will be set free. I will not forget the lesson I have been taught making them propel me forward, not hold me back.

Here is to forgiveness, an awesome virtue that far too often I have forgotten. Let’s remember is all about the experience.