An Unusual Characteristic of Great Teams

Recently a close friend and I got into an argument over a situation. We did not resort to name calling but it did get a little heated between the two of us. In the end we put the discussion behind us and we agreed to disagree on the idea and did not let it ruin our friendship. A majority of us believe today and that is that great teams never disagree. We see a team and we believe that they are always in sync and always get along. That is not the case.

Great teams argue, disagree and get mad but they always get along and trust one another. My friend trusted me enough to tell me how she felt, I was comfortable enough to tell her how I felt. This may sound like a bad team but really it is a characteristic of a great team. We both trusted one another enough to be open and honest, get frustrated and have an honest and real discussion. How many dysfunctional teams can do that?

Take some time to think about what you want to say next so that you do not say something that is filled with emotion. We both used this strategy and talked with intention instead of with emotion. If you feel like you need to respond right away, you are not communicating to resolve the situation or find the best situation but you are talking to win and that is an issue. Do not focus on being right focus on finding the best solution.

In the end we decided that our friendship was worth more than our disagreement and that is another characteristic of a great team. Great teams focus on the big picture, the outcome or whatever you want to call it, not their pride. They may have disagreements of how to get there and they may get mad at one another but in the end, they decide that the long-term is more important. They are able to put aside their differences and truly engage with one another. The do not hold a grudge when it does not go their way, instead they get back in the game. When a decision is made, they all agree to get behind it even if they did not win, they do not try to sabotage it, overthrow the idea or make it a failure, they give it everything they have to make the best of it.

Ditch the New Year's Resolution

I was sitting down having coffee with a friend who I admire a great deal and they mentioned to me that they would like to be more assertive in 2016.  I first was happy for them but then it hit me, why the fuck do we wait for a specific day to get started, especially when it comes to being assertive? Why not start right now?

We wait for New Year’s Day as if our life will somehow magically improve and we will be ready. We may think not we are ready, but we are. Everything we want to achieve we can start now, not just today but right now. If you are reading this you can get started. If you have no goals or resolutions, what a better place to get started then to come up with one that actually means something to you.

Why do we put off making our lives better just because of a stupid tradition that no one questions or even thinks about? We want a clean path to success that is unquestioned, direct and easy. Life does not work that way.

There has never been overnight success. When we hear about overnight success it is not the work that occurred overnight, it is the awareness of the work that happens overnight. The success happens because that person worked their ass off. They did not wait for a certain time to make it happen; they kept working until it did happen. What makes New Year’s Day so special? A new year, how about a new life.

Stop thinking you need to have everything figured out. If you talk to anyone who tells you that they that they have their whole life planned, show them compassion. They are lying to you, they are not as self-confident as they would like you to believe. If they tell you that you need to have everything figured out, kindly thank them and remember that you do not. You need to have a direction, goals and aspirations but you do not need to know it all because no one does.

If you get started now, you will be even closer to reaching your goal. If you wait, you put yourself in this constant struggle of trying to figure out if this is the right move for you. “What if I fail?”, “What if I was meant to do something else?” “What if I give up?” I could go on and on and on about all the stupid reasons we decide to not pursue what we want. The point you need to remember is that, you are ready.

I have tried to publish blog post consistently for over a year and I failed numerous times, I still have not made it. Every time that I failed I could have given up, sometimes I did but I always went back to it. When we fail we take this as a sign that we should give up, it is the exact opposite, it is a sign to keep going. You are going to fail and that is okay. It does not matter when you start or what you are doing you will fail. If you do not fail, you are not doing something that is scary or challenging enough to truly grow.

If you are okay with waiting, you do not want it bad enough. If you are okay with letting it all be a dream, you do not want it bad enough. Your fear of failure is still blocking your judgement because no matter how good of a plan you have, your success will not go as planned. Fear is going to be there but it cannot take control. When you take that leap and decide to pursue everything that you have ever wanted, fear does not go away it gets magnified; you have to be okay with that and get ready to kick fear’s ass. We cannot wait around to get what we want, we must go after it. We need to be obsessed about it, relentless and ruthless towards it.

How to Become an Inspiration

I know a lot of inspiring people in my life. They range from friend who ran 20 marathons in 20 days to one that recently became an author and one that has completed an Ironman all while pushing and pulling someone that would otherwise not physically be able to complete the event and these are just a few of my friends there are many more. You listen to them talk and you cannot help but be inspired by their stories and their moments of glory. It is amazing to see success happen to those that truly deserve it which is the problem. There is no problem with them being successful but with how we process how they got there. When we think of inspiration we just see the highlights, we see the good parts and that is the problem we rarely hear about the struggle that made this inspiration possible.

All of my inspiring friends that I have mentioned had a struggle that they had to go through to become inspiring. The struggles that they went through are not inspiring but in fact to most people they are uninspiring and depressing.

My friend that ran 20 marathons in 20 days gave up hours of sleep, trained for hours suffered from injuries and felt pain in most of the runs.

My friend that wrote the book spent hours of time writing it, investing time in himself to learn how to become the best writer that he could. He invested in his book promoting it and getting it off the ground. He dealt with rejection but kept going.

My other friend that completed two Ironmans pushing and pulling someone gave up hours of training, his time and having an easier way to compete.

This is what makes inspiration. Inspiration is created by when we choose to be boulder in our lives and not let who we currently are define, who we will always be. We get trapped in the belief that the journey is going to be this glorious ride when really you are down in the trenches wondering if you will ever get out and if you should just give up. This is my first problem with inspiration and motivation, it can become an excuse

When we wait for moments of inspiration to get us started and to keep us going, we put our future in the hands of the unknown; we completely give up all of our drive and passion. You are never going to know everything that will happen in your life. There will be ups and downs and sometimes life will punch you right in the gut, you just need to give it your all. We limit ourselves to only a fraction of the impact that we could have if we just decided we wanted it. This is my second issue with inspiration, people say they want it but are not open to it.

We fail to realize that inspiration only work for those that are open to it. We try so hard to motivate and inspire those that do not want to do anything and then we blame ourselves when they stay the same. Think of it like a parachute, you can tell someone all you want how to use it, what needs to be done and when to use it but unless they want to use it, you cannot help them from plummeting towards the earth. If you want to stop plummeting towards the earth, here is a tip. Inspiration is a mindset not a feeling.

If you want to be successful stop waiting for inspiration and start focusing on your mindset. It is a balance between believing that the best is yet to come, knowing you are strong enough but being aware it is going to be a struggle. The fact of the matter is, you do not need inspiration to help you be successful, it helps but you do not need it. So

Anyone can be inspiring but most people do not want to take the leap to become inspiring. We become too comfortable with the world that we live in not wanting to become hurt or vulnerable when that is all that is really needed. Inspiration takes work and it takes time but most of all it takes a commitment to not being afraid to be bolder. Ordinary and easy lives do not make for inspiration. Hardships and pain are what create inspiration. Inspiration takes hard work, long nights and it is a struggle. We forget to focus on telling the story that lead to the inspiration