Taken to the Cleaners

Earlier this week, I dropped off three of my suites at the dry cleaner over my lunch hour. It was a beautiful day to be outside so I decided to walk there. I was in a good mood on the walk over but it improved once I arrived at the dry cleaner.

The women I worked with whose name I cannot remember was amazing. She was friendly and had a conversation with me. In just a few minutes, she was able to make my day even better. I hope I made her day better. I was filled with joy when I left the dry cleaners, how many people can actually say that? In a normal everyday transaction, this woman was able to make it extraordinary.

Here are the lessons that I learned.

• At any point in your life, you can make a difference, if you want to. Leaders are great but leaders are not the only ones that can make a difference. You do not need to have special title to change the lives of those around you. Do not doubt yourself, the biggest and best way you can change the world is by being you.

• Small actions create a huge impact. Stop trying to change the world and start changing the moment. I have written about this before it’s important. Our small actions create the change we want.

• Perspective is key. I could have decided to ignore this women’s kindness. I could have labeled it as her just doing her job that would have hurt me more than anyone else. In every situation and with everyone that we deal with we have two options, we can see the good or we can ignore it. If we all took the opportunity to enjoy and appreciate the small moments, the world would be a better place.

The reason I started this part of my blog is simple. I want you to never underestimate your current situation in a good way. You are going to make mistakes, try to not focus on that. It is hard, I know but trust me there is so much more. Stop worrying about which situation it will be that will change your life. You will never know. The only thing you need to do to be ready is to be yourself. Make every moment the best one of your life. There is no limit to how much you can learn, do or achieve.

To Anyone Who is Struggling

When the weight of your world, feels like it is on your shoulders and there is no light at the end, remember that there is a light.

There are times in our life where we feel like we should just give up. It may be on a project, job or even our life. In those moments it feels like there is no getting out. We do not believe that we can go any further or take anymore. While it feels like a horrible place to be, it is the place with the most opportunity for growth.

When we struggle, we grow. It is painful and it feels like hell but we grow. We learn what we really want in life. It may not be the whole picture but it gets a little clearer.

To anyone that is struggling. I want you to remember.

You are enough. You are so much more than what you are going through. It is hard to believe that in the moment but you are enough. Think of the last life changing event in your life. Remember how you felt when you first started, in the middle and at the end.  We do not always feel happy at the end but we feel stronger, smarter and like we have grown because of it. Not every struggle is going to leave you with a giant smile on your face but believe this, everyone will make you grow.

Take one step forward. It sounds hard and it is. When the world is crumbling around you and you feel like you cannot move, take one step forward. The only way you are going to get out is to keep moving. There is a light at the end, even if you cannot see it.

You are not alone. Everyone that I have met has struggled. The most successful people I know choose intentionally to embrace the struggle. At the lowest points in our struggle it is easy for us to see all of the great things everyone else is doing but that is just the tip of the iceberg. What we cannot see is the struggle that they had to deal with and are still dealing with below the surface.

We grow the most when we embrace the struggle, not when we run away from it.

Your best is yet to come.

5 Minutes: Coffee and Leadership

Coffee again was the vehicle to change my life. This time it would bring me in front of some of the best leaders in the world.

I was talking my friend Thom Cody about the goals we had for our lives. When he asked me about my goals I told him “I want to change the world.” Little did I know that admitting that, would actually help me change not just the world but my life.

Thom told me about a leadership camp that he was helping run called RYLA. I could tell his passion for the program by the way he talked about it.

RYLA is a youth-led leadership camp that is funded by Rotary. The goal of RYLA is to help participants of any age, embrace their talents and gifts to become the best leader, team member and person they could ever imagine.

Further into our conversation Thom asked me if I wanted to take over RYLA. I was speechless. I did not think I could ever come close to making the program as great as he did. I was confused as to why Thom would ask me when there were so many people that I believed would do such a better job than I ever could. Even with all of that, I said yes, and it changed my life.

Here is what it taught me:

1) Take on challenges you are not ready for: Life always presents us with opportunities that will change our lives and many times we believe that we are not ready for them. We let the list of excuses of why we are not ready drive our life. You only need one reason to say yes, focus on your passion. Your passion will drive you to be successful.

2) Do not underestimate your actions: I used to think that changing the world had to be on a big state I would always get frustrated because I never thought I was doing enough. In my role I work closely with 10-15 facilitators each year. If you look at this from the population of the world it does not seem like a lot and yet to those few people, it makes an impact.
We think of changing the world like a magic trick. That with some action everything in our lives will change and the world will be a better place. People change the world one person at a time.

3) Ask for help: You do not have to figure it all out by yourself. When you ask for help, it is not a sign that you do not care, it is a sign that you do care. You care so much that you are willing to admit that you do not know it all and you put the program, idea or impact ahead of yourself.

4) You are never too old: RYLA targets sophomores and juniors in high school. Every year there are a few brave Rotarians that attend. One of my favorite stories is of a man in his sixties that attended as a participant. He was open, willing to try new things and wanted to gain the most from the experience and because of this RYLA changed his life. It is not our age that determines when we stop living, it is our mindset.

5) Letting go means that you care: It is hard to let go of something that you love. It feels like you are giving up on it. While it may be true at times, letting go can be the biggest sign that you care. I witnessed this first hand when Thom handed off the program to me. He loved the program so much, that he wanted to see it grow. It does not mean that you suck as a leader, it means you realize that everyone has a unique gift they can bring.

6) Be who you be: The irony of it all is that while RYLA Is about embracing your own gifts and yet for the first few years, I tried to be just like Thom. I tried to do things the way he would and I failed at it. I never really felt like I was having an impact until I started leading my way. The world does not need another person you admire, it needs you.

7) Greatness comes from some of the lowest points in your life: I met Thom was that I was looking for a job after I graduated from college and moved back in with my parents. Thom knew my dad and offered to meet with me. If it had not been for that low point in my life, I never would have met Thom and I would not be lucky enough to take on a program that continues to change my life.

One of the greatest things this program has done for me is bring me closer to my friend Ashten. If you have ever met me or worked with me on a project you know that at times I can be all over the place, unorganized and a little crazy. Ashten was my partner in crime in making all of this happen. She has done a lot of the work that gets no glory and I am forever thankful to her for that. RYLA has brought us together not only as leaders but as friends. This is one of the greatest things RYLA has given me.

If you have a story about how five minutes changed your life that you would like to share, email adam.lofquist@gmail.com

Buy the Materials, Not the House

You can buy someone else’s home or build your own. Your life is the same way; you can choose to follow someone else’s life or you can build your own.

The problem that many of us run into is not that we are not capable, smart or driven. It is that we spend our whole lives trying to live in someone else’s “house” and we never feel at home. Think about the first time you were at a friend’s house. You had no idea where anything was. They tell you to make yourself at home, but you never really feel at home.

We live our lives the same way. We look up to the people that we admire, and we try to live their life, the problem, we never really feel like we are living. The harder we try to be like them the more it feels not right.

The world does not need a replica of your hero, what they need is you. Here are some tips on how to make that happen.

Build the foundation: You can have the best looking home but without a solid foundation a storm can come along and destroy it. Your life is the same way. There will be challenging times during your life and without a solid foundation you will collapse.

Not sure about your foundation, that is fine, everyone has to figure it out. What are the core beliefs for your life? What drives you? What sets your soul on fire? Do not over think it, write a list of your top 5-7 beliefs and this is your foundation.

Create the blueprint: Use your blueprint and your foundation together. A blueprint for a home creates the layout. The blueprint for your life helps you determine what you will focus on.  It is how you want to grow in your beliefs. Just like you can choose the size of your living room when you build your home, you can choose if your work life is bigger than your social life. The square footage is the amount of time, patience and drive you have to make it all happen.

Renovations:  People renovate their houses all the time. The same applies to your life. You are going to realize that some things need to be updated, removed or added. Stop worrying about the changes and just make them to improve your life.

Steal Inspiration: Just because you are building your own house, does not mean it has to be completely original. No one is truly original, we are all working off one another. What you need to remember is to make it your own. To be original for the sake of being original without it aligning with your foundation and your blueprint, will never work. It may look “neat” but it will not mean anything to you.

Move:  People move into bigger houses and smaller houses all the time. My Grandparents moved into a smaller house a few years ago because it was less work and less room. Stop worrying about the house or life you spent so much time building if it does not work for you. Build something that will serve you the best.

Your life just like a house is subject to disaster. There will be an event in your life that will make you question everything; it may even destroy everything you created. I guarantee it will happen to you at least once in your life. Do not let that scare you. It is an opportunity to

Fire. It makes everything new.

This is a guest post by my friend Christian Jensen:

From the moment I started college, I was optimistic for a fresh start.  In High School, my primary focus was on athletics.  I experienced success in football and track and field and had a desire to continue exploring my potential.  Academics on the other hand was an area I certainly did not apply myself.  There was something about the college environment where everything started over and one could build new relationships, set new expectations, develop new habits and build a new future.

So I committed to applying myself in levels I had never done before.  In track and field, I was producing good numbers but knew if I wanted to be the best I would have to work my butt off in training.  I would have to be in the gym, studying film, in the ring more than anyone else.  I was motivated not by the competition of others but with myself.  What is the best I can be?

After 4 years of school at UW Oshkosh, I was certain where my future was heading.  This young kid who once needed a math tutor just to be able to play sports in high school was on the Dean’s list in college.  In track and field, I was a three time All American and National Champion in 2003 in the Discus throw.  I had accomplished my goals.  I became fiercely competitive with myself.  But...something was missing.

In the summer after my fourth year of college, I moved back home with my family in Lake Geneva.  I have so many fond memories of my home life as a young person.  We have a large family and my parents loved to entertain.  Every week, we had family and friends over to swim in the pool, play sports in the yard or just to hang out.  Being that we loved to entertain, my father wanted to make our home the best. We had all the toys!  Trampoline, go-cart, pool table, pinball machine, etc.  We even finished off our basement and basically turned it into an entertainment space for our guests.

One morning, my mother was packing her bags to go for a short road trip.  I was helping her move some items she needed for the trip from our basement to her car.  While outside, loading the vehicle my mother said to me "do you smell that?"  Pausing for a moment to examine the air..."yeah, it smells like smoke."  Mom looked toward the house and yelled "FIRE!"  Out of the front door a thick, dark smoke was pouring out.  I ran in the house to examine the situation while my mom stayed outside and called 911.  The smoke was coming from the basement where we just were.  I ran down the stairs as the smoke was coming up.  When I reached the bottom level, it was much darker and harder to breathe due to the thickness of the smoke.  I could tell the smoke was coming from the part of the basement were we had storage so I opened the door.  What I saw next will forever be burned into my memory.  It was one of those moments when time stood still.  Yellow and orange flames completely engulfed this part of the basement.  The beams holding the main level above the basement, Christmas ornaments, the toys I played with as a kid, clothes we were storing and a stove that we used when we had large parties. What lasted just a few seconds seemed like minutes as I watched these flames erase memories from my past.  In this moment, I knew I would not be able to stop the fire.  But I would do everything I could.  3 fire extinguishers, our garden hose, milk, baking powder, etc.  I was running out of options.  The heat from the fire filled and emanated from the house.  It was so hot that I had to cover myself as the skin on my arms and face were hurting from being inside.  I was getting desperate.  I grabbed a gallon of milk and ran down the stairs in one last attempt to control the flames.  I blindly threw the container in the the fog of smoke as the heat was preventing me from getting any closer or see where I was going.  It was pitch dark.  I could hear our fire alarms going off, the sound of burning wood crackling and my mother calling my name to get out.  I started climbing the stairs back up.  I was getting dizzy from the smoke inhalation and my vision was blacking out.  I knew I couldn't stay any longer.  My mother and I held each other in our front yard as we watch the smoke and flames build and slowly erase our past.

The next day, I woke up in a hotel, took a third shower to try and remove the smoke smell from my hair and threw on some new clothes we bought from Walmart.  Everything in the house was a loss.  If not consumed by the fire, it was damaged by the smoke or fire hoses.  Having breakfast with our family and some friends who came over to support us, I found a letter that came to me from the school of education at UW Oshkosh (UWO).  The education program at UWO was very competitive and difficult to get into.  Although I had a declared major I still had to get into the school of education to complete my degree.  "Thank you for applying for the school of education at UWO.  Although you are a highly qualified candidate, we regret to inform you that your application was denied."  At this moment, I thought to myself..."I'm homeless and I have no idea what my future holds for me"

After all the dealings with the insurance company, we decided to rebuild on the original foundation of our new hope.  Demolition crews came and tore down the remaining structure of the home and the next week the rebuild began.  I felt ownership over being part of the rebuild process.  My father died of cancer when I was 15 and ever since, I felt like I was the "man of the house."  I felt it was my responsibility to look after our family and care for them.  So, that summer I became a "meat head" member of a small construction crew owned by a local family.  Bill, the father and Sam the son took me under their wing to train me.  I mainly did things that were physical in nature and required low skill, hence the "meat head" title.  But, they were always looking to teach me.  I respected the family.  They were men of great faith and values.  After my father died, I had a change of view in my faith and became an atheist.  I couldn't accept that there as a God out there who wanted the best for us but could allow so many bad things happen to good people like my father.  Still, I respected the family because I believed in hard work, achievement and personal growth.  These were the commandments of my own religion!

Over the summer months, I developed a relationship with Bill and Sam.  We talked often about our viewpoints in life, values and beliefs.  One day on our way to get more lumber from Home Depot, Bill pulled the car over in the parking lot, pulled out his King James Bible and shared some of his personal story with me.  The struggles he went through in life with addiction and how he needed God to change his heart.  Bill saw spiritual turmoil inside of me brewing.  He saw himself years ago.  He took 5 minutes to do something that he had no idea how it was going to be received.  Bill invited me to know and accept Jesus Christ into my life.  I am a very strong willed (aka stubborn) individual.  I told Bill I was honored he would share his faith story with me and invite me to join him but I told him I was "fine' with my beliefs. Bill respected my position and said if I ever needed to talk about anything, he would be there.  Above anything else, I was so honored Bill took this time to speak to me from his heart.  It's something so rare in this world and especially rare among men.

After much thought, I decided to make some changes to my college direction.  I felt a desire to work with people on their health and wellness.  I've always had a passion for coaching and helping people reach their potential.  I had a degree in history education but after not being admitted to the school of education, I kept the history part but removed education.  I added exercise science and health promotion as a major and also a minor strength and conditioning.  At this point I was a double major and double minor.  This change meant I was in for the long haul!

I started year 5 of my college career.  At this point, all of the friends I developed had graduated and moving on with life.  I rented an apartment for myself.  I buried myself deeper into my studies than ever before.  I had high credit loads, took on a coaching position at a local school and started to do something I truly hated...running!  See as a discus thrower, you despise anything long and drawn out without a high level of intensity.  Each throw of the discus lasted a few seconds and when you add up the total time of competition in a track meet for a thrower it equals less than a minute.  Why run?  Two reasons. First, I wanted to be fit physically.  Being a retired thrower is kind of like a football lineman.  You either change your health habits and become healthier or you gain weight and become less healthy!  Second, under the surface my heart was unsettled.  I was struggling with the emotions I was asking myself.  "What am I doing with my life?"  "Will I make it?"  "Why am I here?"  "What is my purpose?"  Running gave me a chance to quiet my mind and explore my heart.  I remember my first run.  I didn't have any expensive running shoes.  After the fire, our clothing purchases were focused on essentials.  The first pair of shoes I purchased were white Velcro sneakers.  The kind that your grandfather wears golfing or to workout out in the back yard.  So, one night late after studying I strapped up my Velcro and hit the street.  I picked a 1-mile route.  This is the furthest I'd ever run.  The night was pitch dark in a neighborhood that had no lights, only lots of trees and a ton of rolling hills.  Off I went a little nervous of the long journey ahead! In the darkness, I could barely see the road.  I could feel the air coming in and out of my lungs and I could hear my footsteps and breath rate.  Not long after running I got into a groove where these three sounds seemed to work in sync and my head cleared.  It was an amazing run which took about 15 minutes.  Definitely not a respectable time by any means.  When I finished, my head was clear and my heart was open.  I feel to my knees and wept.  This was the beginning.

While I felt clear and content spiritually during my runs, I found that this clarity opened the way for deeper feelings.  This year of college was the most difficult emotionally.  It was marked with so many moments of clarity but also deeper struggles.  I became very good at hiding my emotions.  On the surface I was a proud, high performing, self-respecting young adult who got exceptional grades, was very physically fit and focused on my path.  Underneath, my heart was dying.  The emotions were stirring.  I was experiencing severe depression which lasted for months and then years.  When someone lives life where their heart is in constant state of hurt, they will find anything, even if it makes them feel better for a short time.  A band aid is a first priority.  For me, food became my band aid.  The chemical release of endorphins you get from eating has been shown to closely mimic drugs, alcohol, exercise and sex.  In secret I used food to fill a void.  I would binge eat massive amounts in secret in my apartment by myself.  I would do this night after night.  I would find myself waking up on the bathroom floor, cheeks crusty from tears with my body and mind paying the toll.  Each day I woke up promising myself I wouldn't do it again.  I took a shower, put on my running shoes and painfully worked out the poison I put in my body and heart.  This lasted for years and only got worse.

Then I met Tiffany.  A girl who worked at a coffee shop who had a heart that I can only describe as "grace".  Being around Tiffany instantly made me feel better.  I became a coffee person just to stalk her at the shop she worked at.  I would go and "study" at the coffee shop during the day only to peek over my books and to have a passing conversation.  Turns out, she was noticing me to and eventually I wrangled up the courage to ask her out!  On our first date, we went to a local park to have a picnic and go for a walk.  We began talking and getting to know each other and the first thing Tiffany asked me was "what's your viewpoint on God?"  I was open about my atheism beliefs.  She respectfully listened to my position but also challenged me.  I could tell she genuinely cared.  Cautiously, Tiffany continued to date me.  Her values told her to be careful as she was very strong about her faith beliefs and wanted to be with someone who shared these beliefs.  But, something told her to continue on.  We had long conversations about God, the universe, good vs. evil and all things spiritual.  I viewed the conversations intriguing while Tiffany was chipping away at my heart.  We dated for a few months and eventually that winter came home to visit my family for Christmas.  On the way home, Tiffany asked me how I was doing with my faith journey.  I told her that I was ready.  My heart was longing more than ever.  I spent many nights crying for help and I no longer wanted a band aid.  I wanted peace, forgiveness, love and a sense of purpose.  Tiffany said "are you ready?"  "Ready for what?" I replied.  Are you ready to accept Jesus as your savior?  Without a moment's hesitation I said "YES!"  "Ok, then pray this prayer out loud."  "Ok, here goes..."  Nothing came out of my mouth.  The instant I tried to speak, my throat swelled, I began to sweat, shake and cry.  I didn't know what to do.  Tiffany was getting worried too!  Eventually, I stopped the car not feeling like I could safely drive.  I pulled off the highway, got out, feel to my needs, looked up at the stars in the sky and cried like I never had before.  Then, I prayed and felt a level of peace I never have before.  For the first time, I felt what true forgiveness and love was.  I had felt Jesus Christ in my heart.

Sometimes we choose our direction in life.  Sometimes the direction chooses us.  It is essential that we intentionally plan how to impact other people's lives but also understand that some of the biggest opportunities are ones that come to us.  Don't be too focused on the road ahead that you miss all the beauty that's around you.  God will put these steps in your path as people, situations and thoughts. Sometimes these are painful situations.  Sometimes they are joyful.  Sometimes they are so clear but most of the time they are subtle.  God will not force you to make this choice.  He will give you glimpses of hope and then an opportunity to step in faith.  Why does he do this?  Because God craves a relationship with us.  A relationship that can only be strong through faith.  In just 5 minutes, God used Tiffany and Bill to challenge my faith.  They listened and acted not because it was easy, but because it was hard.  What opportunities come your way to grow from others?  What opportunities come your way to help others grow?  I pray that you have your ears open to these opportunities and don't pass them by.

Fire. It makes everything new.

If you have a story about how five minutes changed your life that you would like to share, email adam.lofquist@gmail.com

Acceptance is a Two Way Street.

One of our most basic human needs is the need to be accepted.

We have all had a situation in our life (or more) where we did not feel accepted or loved and it sucked.

As much as it sucks for me to feel like I am not accepted, I still have trouble with accepting others at times. It does not make me a bad person but it is an area for me to grow in.

My acceptance problem is not any of the typical topics we think of: I do not care (in a good way) about your religion, sex, sexual orientation, race, gender or anything in the typical format.

My acceptance problem is with the way people think. When I am in a bad place, people that do not meet the expectations that I have set for them, I stop accepting them. I have stopped accepting people because they were not accepting enough. This may sound good, it is not. I do not accept people because they do not meet my level of acceptance, or to put it bluntly, they are not good enough for me. In a world where I want everyone to be accepting, I have failed where we need it the most. I have failed in things that I do not understand with people who could benefit from it the most.

As much as I could rattle everything I believe is wrong with the people I have done this to, the truth is it would not make anyone’s life any better, it would not make the world any better. All that it would do is further divide the gap.

Not everyone is like you and yes that is a good thing.

People from a small town may not see a lot of diversity, they are not filled with hate, they are experiencing something new. They do not understand it, not because they do not want to or because they are stupid but because they have no reference to understand it from. They spent their whole life, living a life they thought was normal and now there is a different way of life.

People that grew up in a city, are most likely used to diversity. When they get upset because everyone is the same race or religion, it is because it is not what they are used to.

What is normal to us, may be completely absurd to someone else and that is okay.

It is easy to accept those that you agree with, those that you see eye to eye with. The problem is that this creates a clique, where everyone that does not agree with you is not accepted, which is pretty funny if you think about it.

See people for their potential, not for everything that is wrong with them. If we focus on the negative, we will get more negative and it is a losing battle. Look inside yourself before judging others. What is it about the situation that frustrates you? Could the have a backstory you know nothing about? Real acceptance is when you can accept people completely, even with things that you do not understand or agree with.

It is easy to be mad at the people we do not agree with. They just do not seem to get it. True acceptance begins not with us accepting those we do not agree with and seeing that they are human too.

The 3:00 A.M Wake Up Call for My Life

The first time I got up at that hour (on purpose) it changed my life.

To make a long story short, I needed people to run with and no one I knew was running my distance. I asked around and my friend Josh Pierce told me his friends Brian Gruender and Sam Benjamin were running at 4:00 a.m.

I have no idea why I said yes, it just felt right.

This decision was a literal wake up call for my life.

At the time Brian, Josh and Sam all served on the board for the Snowdrop Foundation of Wisconsin. This amazing organization helps fund pediatric cancer research and provides scholarships for pediatric cancer survivors. The people they serve are inspiring to say the least.

Here are a few of my biggest lessons because of that run:

1. Brian, Josh and Sam have all completed 100 mile runs. The best part, the runs are not just about them. They are in honor or in memory of pediatric cancer patients. I was reminded that I can still kick ass, have fun and push my limits while helping other people. In fact this is one of my biggest motivations to push my limits. I am inspired by the people that I have the privilege to run for. They keep me going.
   
2. This organization has shown me the best of the human spirit. People that have cancer are incredible. They are not angry or bitter at anyone, they may be angry at the situation but their love for people is beyond words. Their ability to find joy in the worst situations is inspiring. I think about all the things I let ruin my day and I am humbled by the kids and their families that are dealing with cancer, have dealt with cancer or have lost a loved one because of cancer. The ones that lost a loved when have taken their anger and hurt and turned it into finding a cure and helping other families that are fighting.
   
3. This run started my fire for endurance events. When I am asked why I do  endurance events, my response is usually “I want to” or “why not” and while it may sound like I am being short what I mean is that if I want to go do something so I am going to go do it. The worst thing that happens is that I fail. We are filled with limitless potential.
   
4. The pain that pediatric cancer patients and their families got through, grounds me. It helps me see the bigger picture. My pain is temporary and minor compared to what they go through. It is because of that mindset that I embrace pain. The best part of embracing pain is not the pain itself but the growth that occurs because of it. Pain is you pushing past your current limits.
   
5. There is magic in an early morning run. You are in the dark with people that you need to trust. You build a bond and the hours seem to fly by, I actually looked forward to the early morning runs. The conversations ranged from some really stupid things to conversations that were personal, meaningful and profound. Many times we tell ourselves that we cannot have both, we cannot be funny and serious. The truth is that you need to have both if you want to get a point across. 

Here is the kicker. I never would have gone on the run if not for my friendship with Josh. I met Josh through my friend Christian. I met Christian over a cup of coffee and that coffee changed my life. You can read about that here. The smallest moments in our life, create the biggest impact.

Do you have a story of how a small moment changed your life? I would love to hear it and share it on my blog. Please email me and share it with me.

Do Great Work, Take No Shit.

A simple concept that will get you farther than you can imagine.

Go in every day and do great work, not just do okay work, do great work.

There is so much crap that can come into our life that will tell us to stop giving our best. Stop letting outside factors ruin not just the quality of your work but your reputation as well. Here are a few that I have noticed:

1) No one else is giving their best. While everyone else is just doing okay, stop settling and continue to push on. Your life and your worth is not judged by what others do. It is judged by the impact that you have.

2) I may not get credit. Greatness is not about getting credit, it is about doing great work to do great work.

3) It sucks: I did not get the raise or promotion I wanted. My boss is not the best and my company is not the greatest. This is not limited to just your work but every aspect of your life. While these all may be true, do not let them determine how great your work will be. Continue to be great.

4) I do not feel like it: I had this mindset; I do not feel like giving my best work. I just want to slack off. Please don’t. I know life gets hard sometimes, we get tired it is not an excuse to suck. The most successful people you know have been through a lot and times where they could have and probably did not give greatness; the difference is that they now focus on giving greatness every opportunity that they can.

One of our greatest fears is not the belief that we cannot be great, but we doubt how long we can be great. We see greatness as a gas gauge, that we only have a certain amount and once it is gone, it is gone.  Stop selling yourself short. You are unlimited in your greatness. The more you give greatness, the more of it you get. As Tony Robbins puts it, we live in a life of scarcity, a belief that we are not enough. Watch his amazing video.

Your greatness is unlimited. It requires work and it will be a struggle, but you can always be greater no matter who you are.  This is not an insult it is a compliment, an insult would be to say that you could not be any greater we are then saying that we cannot improve.

This goes both ways, stop expecting everyone to be perfect, especially your boss. They struggle and fail as well. They are humans; they and you can be great but not perfect.

Greatness is not a viral video. We have confused popularity with greatness, just because a video is popular does not mean it is great. Popularity is in the terms of others, greatness is in on your own terms.

Greatness comes before fame and success, not the other way around. Start giving greatness.

Take no shit

To be great, does not mean you let people walk all over you. It means that you define what is important to you.

If you are constantly looked over, after you give greatness, take no shit, find something better.

If people undermine you and your value, take no shit, find something better. Just never stop giving greatness, do not let the actions of others determine what you do, ever.

There are many things in our life that we cannot control one thing we can control is our choice to give greatness.

How One Cup of Coffee Changed My Life.

I met Christian Jensen because he was the instructor for my mom’s spin class. If you know my Mom, you know that she is a very social person. She of course got to know Christian and urged me to meet him.

We set a date to meet for coffee.

This was one decision that changed my life forever.

Have you ever met someone and the instant you meet them, you realize that you want this person in your life? They seem to just attract people to them and they make you want to spend time with them. This was how it was for me, when I met Christian. I had no idea what it was but I knew he was going places and I wanted to help him get there.

It is because of Christian and my Mom that I was introduced to myTEAM TRIUMPH (mTT), an organization that helps athletes of all abilities compete in endurance events.

It is because of them that I have completed not just one but two full distance triathlons and numerous ultramarathons. While these accomplishments are great, here are the greater things it taught me:

1) Life does not revolve around me. I think about “what is in it for me” a lot. mTT helped me become better at for a lack of a better term “Get over myself.” They helped me see that I live more when I focus on helping other people. I do not lose anything when I help someone, I gain more.

2) It has shown me how amazing the human spirit really is. The organization is full of amazing people that are inspiring simply by being themselves.

3) Never limit myself. If I want to do something I should go do it. It will take work, sacrifice and determination but it will be worth it.

4) We are all in it together. We can cheer one another on while still wanting to do our best. We need to spend more time with people different than us and learn from them.

I have met many amazing people because of one cup of coffee. One of them is Jacob Vandenberg. Jacobs is one of the funniest people you will ever meet, he is always making people laugh. He is always looking for an adventure and to help others have fun. Jacob is one of the sassiest people you will ever meet (in a good way), coming from me that says a lot. If you have ever met Jacob, one of the first things you will notice is his love for helping others. He will help anyone and expect nothing in return. He does not need to be asked, he just does it. Jacob unlike many of us, including myself, gets life. He understands that life is about helping other people and not expecting praise for it. Jacob loves to have friends because of how they make him feel and how he makes them feel, loved.

One cup of coffee taught me one of the greatest lessons in my life. We must see all people as fundamentally human before anything else. We must be able to look them in the eye and see that we are all the same and that we all can help one another. No one is better than anyone. We can all add value to one another.

We hold ourselves back from greatness and from opportunities that will change our life because we see it just as a cup of coffee instead of an opportunity that could change our life. Stop waiting for the meteor to hit and work with the pebble God gave you.

You can learn more about mTT here.

I am running 100 miles with my friends Aaron and Katie, to raise money for mTT, you can donate here.