Facing Our Personal and Professional Fears

Of all the obstacles we encounter in business, fear is by far the greatest. The same fears that plague us in our personal lives creep into our professional lives. Building our ideal life includes our ideal work, and creating a healthy balance between them. How is this achieved? By getting out of our own damn way.

Fear of Failure 

We all make mistakes, every day. In life, in work. We miss our flights. We hire the wrong people. We forget to pay an invoice. Mistakes are not failures, and they are easily overcome. With every missed opportunity, there is an opportunity to learn and grow, to do better.

Businesses fold for many reasons. Your funding disappears, society changes course, a recession hits, competition edges you out… There are any number of outcomes that are beyond your control. Look at any major publisher. You know the names of their most successful books or magazines, but what about the several that didn’t make it? Look at any major retailer or restaurant. You see locations everywhere you go, but what about the several that didn’t survive in their marketplace? No company, great or small, is exempt from making mistakes. But the heads of Random House or Target don’t close their doors, because their successes always outweigh their setbacks.

Fear of Inadequacy 

Many people are paralyzed by their fears of inadequacy. They question themselves, their talents and abilities, their products and ideas. Am I knowledgeable enough? Am I experienced enough? Is my product or service good enough? Questions like these can cause us to sabotage ourselves, either by preventing us to follow our dream in the first place, or crippling us along the way.

Everything is figureoutable.

Knowledge and experience can be gained. Products and services can be improved. Look at any food manufacturer. How often do you see words like new and improved, now with more…? Nobody has it perfect out of the gate, and nobody expects you to. In fact, making improvements is one of the best excuses to sporadically re-approach your ideal market.

Fear of Taking Risks

It’s a psychological fact that people view loss to be twice as powerful as gain. We work hard for what we have, and often we settle in life and work, because it’s a gamble to go for our dreams. We think of entrepreneurs as big risk takers, but truthfully, entrepreneurs take calculated risks and accept them as part of doing good business, and of living a good life.

Taking a calculated risk means considering all the advantages and disadvantages. It means considering all possible outcomes, being aware some outcomes may not be ideal, and being prepared. We buy bicycle helmets not because we expect to fall, but because we might. Helmet or no helmet, we still ride.

Fear of Financial Insecurity 

Nothing is certain when starting or growing a business, and that constant state of flux promotes insecurity and uncertainty. Some people choose to save up and start small, some find investors or take out loans and go for it. There is no wrong way, but there’s a right way for you.

I had a full-time career when I decided to start my first company. I planned for months while I still had a steady paycheck. I made sure I had six months of living expenses on hand. I made sure I had multiple income streams established. This is how I fought my financial fear. Ten years later I still practice both, but they are no longer about financial insecurity, they are about financial freedom. Six months of living expenses on hand means I can take a break anytime I want to. Multiple income streams means I can drop anything that’s no longer working for me.

Fear of Criticism

Our relationships influence every choice we make, and we listen especially hard when we’re about to do something big. Because humans are sensitive creatures. We care if our friends and family like our significant other. We care if our coworkers and classmates like our new haircut or outfit. That won’t change. But we can choose whether or not they have the ability  to change our minds.

Generally speaking, we won’t lose someone we love because we made a choice they didn’t agree with. Sure, you’d like others to believe in you and support your goals and dreams. But what’s really important is that you believe in yourself and do what calls to you.

It’s okay to change your mind. About the work you’re doing. About the life you want. About the company you keep. About anything, anytime. You get one life, do it your way. No matter what anyone else thinks.

Fear of Growth and Success

It may seem silly to fear your own growth and success, but it’s a very real and very legitimate thing. Growth and success often means adding to staff, opening additional locations… It means things start to get complicated. You need more insurance. You pay more taxes. More paperwork. More everything. More becomes a frightening word rather than an exciting one.

We live in a time where it’s never been easier to make our mark on the world. We also have an unprecedented amount of resources and assistance available to us. Smart solutions exist. Again: 

Everything is figureoutable.

Fear isn’t something we can expect to eliminate, but it is something we are capable of acknowledging and moving beyond. For every fear we have, there are multiple ways to circumvent it with knowledge and confidence.



Erika L. Block is a professional writer, artist/designer and art director working exclusively with the art, film, publishing, music and fashion industries. She is the owner of Creative Studios and Factory Girl, and the co-founder of BRAVE. Find her on facebook: facebook.com/erikalblock

Sometimes Showing Up is Enough

There is a saying that goes something like “Do not show up and shut up” while this wisdom may be great for a majority of your life, sometimes showing up is enough.

Recently I have had a friend lose a beloved member of her family to cancer, a friend mark the anniversary of his mom’s passing from cancer and a family member lose her sister because of cancer.

In situations like these, I do not believe it is our lack of wanting to help that stops us but the exact opposite. We want to help so badly but we have no idea how. We see our family member or friend suffering and it hurts us. We want to have the power to say some magical words or perform a random act and take away their pain.

We doubt our ability. We are afraid of saying or doing something stupid so we do nothing because we do not want to do any more harm.

The truth is that we do not need to have all the answers or know the right thing to say, we just need to be there. Sometimes showing up is enough. Stop worrying about knowing the right thing to say just show up and give them hug.

When I went to see my friend at her family member’s wake I had no idea what I should say. In fact I asked her “How are you doing?” yet it did not really phase her. She recognized that I was there when she needed someone and that was enough.

You will have the biggest impact when the biggest gift you give someone is you. We are put on this earth not to be perfect but to give the world the gift of ourselves.

In times of struggle when you have no idea what to do or say, just show up. Everything else will work out, just show up.

There is No One Tip for Success

According to IBISWorld, the fitness industry is a $30 billion industry that employs over 642,000 people¹. A simple Google search of “How to get fit” had over 92 million search results.

Take a look for workouts to lose weight, gain muscle, or get in better shape. There are millions of them out there. If you look at Men’s Fitness there will always be a new workout regimen to get a ripped body. The kicker, there are people that get results and people that fail miserably.

The problem is not too many workouts or gyms but it is that we assume any workout will work for us.  If there was only one way, how the hell can so many gyms exist?

We apply this same illogical thinking to success. Constantly there is a new study that has the one key attribute to a successful life. We study the habits of the extremely successful. What are their morning rituals, what do they eat, when do they get up and what kind of leader are they? Just to name a few. Just because you get up at 4:00 AM does not make you successful. Simply sleeping on the floor of your office and working countless hours will not make you successful as well.

The problem is that we buy into these ideas without thinking about ourselves first. We focus too much on just being successful with defining what it means to us. As an example think of planning a trip to New York with no map, compass, GPS or guidance of any kind. In fact you have no idea where you are even departing from. You may not even have a car or a plane ticket and better yet we may not even want to go to New York, we only chose New York because that is the “popular” place. If you never wanted to go to New York in the first place, you will most likely not be too excited when you get there just as when you do not clearly define what success looks like for yourself.

Here are some tips to reach your own success.

Define Success: If you do not know where you want to go, how will you know when you have arrived? There is no singular definition of success. In fact there is at least one definition of success for every person on this earth.  In order to truly reach success you need to know what success means to you.

Stop worrying about what others are doing: It is rare that you will find someone that has a close definition of success like you do, so stop worrying about how everyone else defines success. Even if you do have someone that has the exact same idea of success, your paths will be different, do what works for you.

Keep at it: You have a higher chance of being successful, the less often you give up.

Life is not a race, stop worrying about who is on the course: I hate to ruin the ending but in the end we all die. No tombstone has “He was better than BLANK” or “She beat BLANK”, stop worrying about everyone around you and focus on yourself.

^{1 http://www.ibisworld.com/industry/default.aspx?indid=1655}

Leaders, Followers and YOU

In a recent news headline, with everything going on in our country, the question was asked if either Hillary or Trump could unite us.

The question really hit home with me. Not because of the choices but because we put so much of our success as a country into just one person?

The question makes me believe that we are throwing our hands up and telling ourselves that we are not good enough or smart enough to come together.

As the old saying goes, “You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink”. Whoever wins the next election can lead us to the source but until all of us and yes that means you drinks, that is all they can do. If they try and force it down our throats they will drown us.

Then it hit me, this goes beyond our political and social environment it affects our work lives as well.

How many times have you silently waited for your boss or president of your organization unite you, while you silently point out all the things they have done wrong and wonder why they have not taken action?

At times leaders have it the worst. They are watched not only by their employees but the board, customers, clients, vendors, partners and competition. Whatever happens is ultimately their responsibility.

I am not arguing that they should not be held responsible or that they should not be a leader that unites people. My point is that we all have a part to play in the future success of not just your organization but your country as well.

We should no longer point the finger at our leaders and blame them for everything they did wrong. They are human and they make mistakes. We need to focus on ways to get past these mistakes and focus on our future if we truly want to be successful.

Here are some tips to help you do that.

Let go of your ego: Your ego wants to protect your image, it is okay to be wrong and it is okay to not get your way. If something happens that you do not like, acknowledge it, deal with it and get past it. Focus on what is best for the organization.

Listen to understand, not to judge: Often times when we listen to someone, we do to help us judge them or respond to them. The problem is that we are not really hearing them when we focused on our respond.

Talk to people that you do not agree with and stop trying to prove your point: Ask questions, value them and learn from them. If there was one simple solution, why are we all so different? Learn from people.

Find what you have in common with people: We are far too often focused on what we do not agree with someone one. “I cannot be friends with blank because they believe…” first listen to them and find out what you do have in common. This is not a free pass for people to be jerks and if you want to try and act like that, please grow up.

Believe that people are doing the best they can: This one hit me hard. In “Rising Strong” by Brene Brown and she talks about this concept and how she struggled with it. She does a great job at explaining it but the message is, see people for who they are not for who you want them to be. No one is perfect and people are going to make mistakes.

We cannot rely on one solo leader because when they step down or die, we are lost. We must be a part of the change that we want to see and support our leaders and sometimes that means taking the first step.

Four Words that Will Change Your Life

“How can I help?” will get your further than you could have ever imagined.

There will be people that will take advantage of you, help anyway. Never let negative people stop you from doing something incredible. Invest and believe in the best.

How will it change your life?

What you put out into the world is what you attract. When you are willing to help others, amazing things start to happen.

It will build your own self-worth. Your life is not just about what you can do for yourself it is also about how you can help others. When you take time to look beyond yourself and help someone you realize how much of an impact you can have on the world and prove that you matter.

It feels amazing. It just feels good to help other people in your life.

You never know how one small act can change your life or the lives of those around you. The world is filled with enough negative propaganda already. We hear too much about all the bad and not enough about the good. It is easy to get depressed because of this. Inspire someone by helping them.

You will lose nothing; we are far too concerned in what we will lose by helping people. The truth is that even if the person you help uses you, you will still come out ahead. You will learn, grow and prosper because of it.

Here are seven tips to make the most out of those four words.

1. You cannot make anyone successful and it has nothing to do with your talent or how hard you try. Success lies with the person that is trying to achieve it and it is a hands-on experience. Do not drive the car for them, give them directions.
2. You cannot help everyone at the same time. Think of it as an elevator. You can cram as many people as you want into an elevator but at some point it will not close, move or it may get stuck. Keep room open.
3. Help people that fill you up and make you happy. Do not spend time with those people that piss you off or make you mad.
4. Do not help out of guilt or shame. These are powerful emotions and if you are doing it just because you feel like you have to, your advice will be worthless.
5. Do good and expect nothing in return. Life does not keep score. I know some of the nicest people that have been through the toughest times and there are people out there meaner than anything you could imagine, that have it all. The point is to stop expecting something in return because that is when you will get nothing and you deserve nothing.
6. Help people but make time for yourself. You do not have to be Mother Teresa. The best way to help other people is to figure out what you want out of your life first.
7. Ask for help yourself, this one was huge for me to get over. I thought that when I asked for help I was letting people down but in reality I was connecting with people and I was showing them that I was smarter than trying to do it on my own.