There is a saying that goes something like “Do not show up and shut up” while this wisdom may be great for a majority of your life, sometimes showing up is enough.
Recently I have had a friend lose a beloved member of her family to cancer, a friend mark the anniversary of his mom’s passing from cancer and a family member lose her sister because of cancer.
In situations like these, I do not believe it is our lack of wanting to help that stops us but the exact opposite. We want to help so badly but we have no idea how. We see our family member or friend suffering and it hurts us. We want to have the power to say some magical words or perform a random act and take away their pain.
We doubt our ability. We are afraid of saying or doing something stupid so we do nothing because we do not want to do any more harm.
The truth is that we do not need to have all the answers or know the right thing to say, we just need to be there. Sometimes showing up is enough. Stop worrying about knowing the right thing to say just show up and give them hug.
When I went to see my friend at her family member’s wake I had no idea what I should say. In fact I asked her “How are you doing?” yet it did not really phase her. She recognized that I was there when she needed someone and that was enough.
You will have the biggest impact when the biggest gift you give someone is you. We are put on this earth not to be perfect but to give the world the gift of ourselves.
In times of struggle when you have no idea what to do or say, just show up. Everything else will work out, just show up.
so good
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