Get Happy

My friend Brian Drury wrote a blog post a few months ago about “Asking the Right Questions” which got me thinking about our quest for happiness. While it is great to know what make you happy, it is equally important to understand what does not make you happy.

Often in life we make it harder on ourselves to be happy than we really need to. Think about a friend or maybe yourself that constantly complains about their job, significant other or how busy they are. The truth of it all, is it all comes down to three options.

1) Do nothing and stay miserable. When you choose this path, you have no one to blame but yourself, do not blame others for your choices.

2) You can leave or quit as well. This is a smart option if you really think nothing will change. It is movement and you are taking an active role in your life.

3) Work to make it better. Not a lot of people choose this path, not because people are lazy but because people do not believe that they can actually do it. They doubt their own potential. Trust me you can do it but it will require work.

Your life really comes down to how you see it and your perspective, here are some thing to think about to improve your life and increase your happiness.

1) Who do you spend your time with? I am one of the luckiest people in the world. I get to spend my time with are freaking amazing and inspiring. They make the most out of life. Happiness is up to you but it is a lot easier to choose to be happy when you have friends that want to be happy as well.

2) Who are you living for? I am always confused by the people who are driven by those who tell them that they cannot do something. It seems so backwards to me. Why would you focus your energy on someone that does not believe in us? I come from a family and a group of friends that have always supported me in everything that I do. These are the people beyond myself that I think about when I do incredible things, not the haters.

3) Get over yourself, seriously. If you have to tell me how great you are, that is my first sign that you are nowhere near great. Stop focusing on only living for yourself because your life is more than that. Stay humble and stay happy.

4) Choose that you have done enough. I always want to do more, it is a blessing and a curse. There are so many nights where I would come home from work, working out, writing and working on volunteer projects be dead tired and still not happy with what I had done that day. I always wanted to do more. The problem is that if always makes me feel less than. I never feel like I have done enough and so at the end of the day, I feel like I have failed the day and that makes me feel like crap. Realize that you have done enough as long as you have done something. You can always do more but that is fine.

5) Do not play the victim, accept responsibility. Taking responsibility is hard and it hurts but it is one of the most freeing things to do in the world. While it sucks to go through it, when you get to the end you feel free. No one is perfect and everyone screws up. Do not try and blame your shortcomings on other people.

6) Use perspective to gain clarity not to compare. There are people who have it worse off than me, who have bigger struggles than I do. When I compare myself to them I get nowhere but when I use what they are going through to gain perspective on what is happening in my life, I grow.

Happiness is something that we all screw up on, give yourself a break. Even people who are happy every day get upset, they just rebound from it. These tips I have do not come from a book but they come from my own struggle in happiness.