An Unusual Characteristic of Great Teams

Recently a close friend and I got into an argument over a situation. We did not resort to name calling but it did get a little heated between the two of us. In the end we put the discussion behind us and we agreed to disagree on the idea and did not let it ruin our friendship. A majority of us believe today and that is that great teams never disagree. We see a team and we believe that they are always in sync and always get along. That is not the case.

Great teams argue, disagree and get mad but they always get along and trust one another. My friend trusted me enough to tell me how she felt, I was comfortable enough to tell her how I felt. This may sound like a bad team but really it is a characteristic of a great team. We both trusted one another enough to be open and honest, get frustrated and have an honest and real discussion. How many dysfunctional teams can do that?

Take some time to think about what you want to say next so that you do not say something that is filled with emotion. We both used this strategy and talked with intention instead of with emotion. If you feel like you need to respond right away, you are not communicating to resolve the situation or find the best situation but you are talking to win and that is an issue. Do not focus on being right focus on finding the best solution.

In the end we decided that our friendship was worth more than our disagreement and that is another characteristic of a great team. Great teams focus on the big picture, the outcome or whatever you want to call it, not their pride. They may have disagreements of how to get there and they may get mad at one another but in the end, they decide that the long-term is more important. They are able to put aside their differences and truly engage with one another. The do not hold a grudge when it does not go their way, instead they get back in the game. When a decision is made, they all agree to get behind it even if they did not win, they do not try to sabotage it, overthrow the idea or make it a failure, they give it everything they have to make the best of it.

Ditch the New Year's Resolution

I was sitting down having coffee with a friend who I admire a great deal and they mentioned to me that they would like to be more assertive in 2016.  I first was happy for them but then it hit me, why the fuck do we wait for a specific day to get started, especially when it comes to being assertive? Why not start right now?

We wait for New Year’s Day as if our life will somehow magically improve and we will be ready. We may think not we are ready, but we are. Everything we want to achieve we can start now, not just today but right now. If you are reading this you can get started. If you have no goals or resolutions, what a better place to get started then to come up with one that actually means something to you.

Why do we put off making our lives better just because of a stupid tradition that no one questions or even thinks about? We want a clean path to success that is unquestioned, direct and easy. Life does not work that way.

There has never been overnight success. When we hear about overnight success it is not the work that occurred overnight, it is the awareness of the work that happens overnight. The success happens because that person worked their ass off. They did not wait for a certain time to make it happen; they kept working until it did happen. What makes New Year’s Day so special? A new year, how about a new life.

Stop thinking you need to have everything figured out. If you talk to anyone who tells you that they that they have their whole life planned, show them compassion. They are lying to you, they are not as self-confident as they would like you to believe. If they tell you that you need to have everything figured out, kindly thank them and remember that you do not. You need to have a direction, goals and aspirations but you do not need to know it all because no one does.

If you get started now, you will be even closer to reaching your goal. If you wait, you put yourself in this constant struggle of trying to figure out if this is the right move for you. “What if I fail?”, “What if I was meant to do something else?” “What if I give up?” I could go on and on and on about all the stupid reasons we decide to not pursue what we want. The point you need to remember is that, you are ready.

I have tried to publish blog post consistently for over a year and I failed numerous times, I still have not made it. Every time that I failed I could have given up, sometimes I did but I always went back to it. When we fail we take this as a sign that we should give up, it is the exact opposite, it is a sign to keep going. You are going to fail and that is okay. It does not matter when you start or what you are doing you will fail. If you do not fail, you are not doing something that is scary or challenging enough to truly grow.

If you are okay with waiting, you do not want it bad enough. If you are okay with letting it all be a dream, you do not want it bad enough. Your fear of failure is still blocking your judgement because no matter how good of a plan you have, your success will not go as planned. Fear is going to be there but it cannot take control. When you take that leap and decide to pursue everything that you have ever wanted, fear does not go away it gets magnified; you have to be okay with that and get ready to kick fear’s ass. We cannot wait around to get what we want, we must go after it. We need to be obsessed about it, relentless and ruthless towards it.

How to Become an Inspiration

I know a lot of inspiring people in my life. They range from friend who ran 20 marathons in 20 days to one that recently became an author and one that has completed an Ironman all while pushing and pulling someone that would otherwise not physically be able to complete the event and these are just a few of my friends there are many more. You listen to them talk and you cannot help but be inspired by their stories and their moments of glory. It is amazing to see success happen to those that truly deserve it which is the problem. There is no problem with them being successful but with how we process how they got there. When we think of inspiration we just see the highlights, we see the good parts and that is the problem we rarely hear about the struggle that made this inspiration possible.

All of my inspiring friends that I have mentioned had a struggle that they had to go through to become inspiring. The struggles that they went through are not inspiring but in fact to most people they are uninspiring and depressing.

My friend that ran 20 marathons in 20 days gave up hours of sleep, trained for hours suffered from injuries and felt pain in most of the runs.

My friend that wrote the book spent hours of time writing it, investing time in himself to learn how to become the best writer that he could. He invested in his book promoting it and getting it off the ground. He dealt with rejection but kept going.

My other friend that completed two Ironmans pushing and pulling someone gave up hours of training, his time and having an easier way to compete.

This is what makes inspiration. Inspiration is created by when we choose to be boulder in our lives and not let who we currently are define, who we will always be. We get trapped in the belief that the journey is going to be this glorious ride when really you are down in the trenches wondering if you will ever get out and if you should just give up. This is my first problem with inspiration and motivation, it can become an excuse

When we wait for moments of inspiration to get us started and to keep us going, we put our future in the hands of the unknown; we completely give up all of our drive and passion. You are never going to know everything that will happen in your life. There will be ups and downs and sometimes life will punch you right in the gut, you just need to give it your all. We limit ourselves to only a fraction of the impact that we could have if we just decided we wanted it. This is my second issue with inspiration, people say they want it but are not open to it.

We fail to realize that inspiration only work for those that are open to it. We try so hard to motivate and inspire those that do not want to do anything and then we blame ourselves when they stay the same. Think of it like a parachute, you can tell someone all you want how to use it, what needs to be done and when to use it but unless they want to use it, you cannot help them from plummeting towards the earth. If you want to stop plummeting towards the earth, here is a tip. Inspiration is a mindset not a feeling.

If you want to be successful stop waiting for inspiration and start focusing on your mindset. It is a balance between believing that the best is yet to come, knowing you are strong enough but being aware it is going to be a struggle. The fact of the matter is, you do not need inspiration to help you be successful, it helps but you do not need it. So

Anyone can be inspiring but most people do not want to take the leap to become inspiring. We become too comfortable with the world that we live in not wanting to become hurt or vulnerable when that is all that is really needed. Inspiration takes work and it takes time but most of all it takes a commitment to not being afraid to be bolder. Ordinary and easy lives do not make for inspiration. Hardships and pain are what create inspiration. Inspiration takes hard work, long nights and it is a struggle. We forget to focus on telling the story that lead to the inspiration

For the love of the game.

Have you ever met someone and noticed how much passion and drive they have for being successful and wanted to be like them? I have and one of the things that I have noticed is their passion and love for what they do, it is something that cannot be made up or you can spot a phony from a mile away.

Notice a clear distinction, I did not mention that they just had a passion but they had a passion for what they do. The excuse that I am just not that interested in a subject so I will try less hurts no one but yourself. Life is full of shit that you do not want to do but you have a choice, you can do it with passion or you can half-ass your way through it, use your whole ass. Successful people know that you need to be all in, all the time.

What I see about these people is that they are not so obsessed about a successful moment but rather are very obsessed with the constant opportunity for success and for the ability to grow from it. They are not obsessed with success but they are obsessed with becoming better at every chance they get.  They realize that championships, multi-billion dollar companies and to be the best is not made when everyone is looking but rather when no one is looking. It  is made when it is easier to quit, to give up when the pain sets in or when you would rather be doing something else.

A friend runs a business that sells nuts, bolts and fasteners to medium sized businesses. It is hard to believe that anyone could really get that excited about it and yet he thrives in the environment. It goes beyond what his company does, he has a passion for being the best, working hard and making amazing things happen, with that attitude you can be successful anywhere. These are all about the attitude not skills or talents. Anyone can learn to live with passion if they want to.

Have you ever heard someone say “All it would take is one big break and I would be set?” This is an example of looking for just a moment of success. They are not so much obsessed with what they are doing but rather with just being successful so they can be done. People that are focused on the growth want that big moment to propel them to even bigger moments of more growth and opportunity. They are not obsessed with winning but they are obsessed with improving everything that they can to win more. Many of us get it wrong; we spend all this time trying to be successful without putting the effort into what will make us successful. You win a football game by scoring more points than the other team, what this means is that you need to not only score but you need to stop the other team from scoring. To break it down further what this means is that you need to practice the components that make up your offensive and defensive line. That is how you win and that same concept is how you become successful

Michael Jordan made a multi-million dollar salary for numerous years. Even getting paid  $10,000,000 would for most people be making it big but he kept going and at his peak he made $33,000,000 in one year but that did not stop him. He had a love for the game he was playing, not for being successful. Clearly money did not drive him but what drove him was his desire to be the best. 

Warren Buffet has been named one of the richest men in the world, and still working at 85 has a love for the game. He could have quit years ago and lived easily off what he worked so hard to get and yet he did not, he kept going and kept creating more success. He loves the challenge and the ability to grow from what he takes on.

Oprah Winfrey is one of the few people whose first name is a household brand. She is a multi-billionaire who has mastered the media for years. She could have given up years ago and retired but she is still in the game, even without her television show. While she may have experienced plenty of success, she was not looking for a onetime event but rather a lifetime of growth.

Focus on growth.

Success Sucks

Life is a series of choices that made every second that domino down the line. Your choice this very minute affects the rest of your life.

There is a lot of discussion around what success is and what it is not. My personal view is that success is doing what sucks, what is hard and what is painful to get to a greater place in your life.

I think back to Ironman and I know that I use it a lot but it has so many values to me. I am sure that your passion or your hobby has taught you many lessons as well.

As I got off the bike and made my way into transition, I was feeling okay. I knew that all I had left was to run 26.2 miles and I would be done. Within a mile of the run, I knew it was going to be painful. My legs were cramping and I could not get my nutrition and water in check. I knew that I had a long road of suffering ahead of me.

The reason that many people do Ironman is the very reason why so many people choose not to do Ironman, it sucks. The time you have to put into it just to get to the start line giving up your social life to stay on your training schedule. Feeling the fatigue and pain as your workouts get longer and longer and increase in intensity. Then you get to race day and it sucks some more. The whole day, no matter how good you are, is a struggle and it should be.

The difference is that the people that compete in an Ironman know that it sucks but let the feeling of crossing that finish line and the experience triumph over the pain. This is the key to life. Embrace the suck.

The key to success is not doing what makes you happy or trying to find your passion much less follow it. Success is taking the obstacles head on, making the hard choice and doing what is right, not what is easy.

We have been told that success is accomplishing great goals and winning but what if we reframed the way we think to see success as the work that we put into it. The moment we decide to take the hard way, the road less traveled and do what is best, not what is the easiest.

Do not get me wrong, I still see success as a conglomerate of things but a majority of what we see as success is really the output of choosing to make the best decision. We know what success looks like in the end but most of us have no clue how to get there.

How do you get to be a millionaire, by having a million dollars, pretty simple, right?  However the road to getting to a million dollars is a series of hard choices, do I go out tonight and spend my money, have a good time or do I save my money, invest it and hold off for the long term goals.

Success is not an accident; it is a series of hard choices.

The greatest part is that you can be successful today, even if you chose to not be successful for a single moment in your life prior to this. It is just one decision away from changing your life. Go be successful.

What I learned from Ironman

Ironman some say it is the toughest thing you could ever do, to me it is one of the greatest things you will ever do. I love endurance athletics because you get to push your mind, body  and spirit to new limits and all of the les

sons that you learn while you do them. Here are some of the lessons that I learned about life and success from completing an Ironman.

Focus on where you want to go. I signed up for Ironman being a very poor swimmer and now; I am just a poor swimmer. I can always get better and that is the point, I can get better. I knew my weakness and what it would take but I focused on where I wanted to go Stop waiting for the right time because there will never be a right time. There will always be something wrong. Stop waiting for when you are ready because there will always be an excuse. Forget what you do not know or what you cannot do, you will get there, just commit to getting there.

One small step. Is how you complete an Ironman, change the world or change your life. One step after the other. An Ironman  is really not that complicated. You just need to keep going. One stroke after the other, one pedal stroke and one foot in front of the other, if you just keep moving you will get to your destination, never give up. It is a balance of figuring out how far you have to go and focusing on that next step. Just keep moving in the right direction.

Everyone travels at a different pace, but all that matters is getting to the finish. It does not matter your pace as long as you keep moving forward and meet the deadline. We get too caught up in trying to keep up with everyone else that it ends up hurting us. As I said before I am a poor swimmer. If I were to try and keep up with the great swimmers I would be dead on the bike and the run and I may not cross the finish line. This happens in real life. We see the success of our friends and we get happy for them but we get mad at ourselves. We tell ourselves that we should be there and we should be that successful. If we would have just worked harder and done more, we would be there. We look at all of our failures and tell ourselves we are not good enough. We stop, give up and are out of the game. Remember that your pace is your pace and you will get there. Whether that be crossing the finish line or reaching another goal that you have, you have what it takes. Some parts will take you longer and others will take you shorter, just focus on getting there.

Ask for help. Surround yourself that have the same passion as you but have different insights. My friend Kare Anderson is an expert in this area. How can your differences help the people around you and how can their differences help you? From reading this post you know that I suck at swimming.  I take every opportunity that I can to learn how to be a better swimmer. I also take every opportunity I can to help push people past their limits to live more. I will help people in any way that I can, not for the recognition but to see that person grow. It is amazing to see that your investment in a person can truly become a lifetime of change. Even it is not a lifetime, just for a moment it is worth it.

Embrace what sucks. Stop doing what is easy and what does not hurt. It is okay to become broken, worn and be filled with pain, because that is where all the growth happens. We think that when we fall or when it gets hard we are weak and that is a lie. The truth is that we are truly the weakest when it becomes easy. There is no challenge so there is no growth. Whether we want to believe it or not, we are tough enough to do anything that we want. Stop looking for the easiest way out because it is the easiest way for a reason, there is little value in taking the easy way if any value at all.

Thank the people that help you get there. Ironman is amazing for a number of reasons but one of the biggest ones for me are the volunteers and the spectators. Here are people that get up early, stay up late, stand around for hours, travel, take time out of their day, cheer for you and help you and they do it all for you and ask nothing in return. I know that you have those people in your life. Remember to thank them for being right there with you before, during and after your journey. Far too often we focus on proving everyone wrong that told us we could not do it, we waste time that we could be focusing on those that knew we could all along.

Forget about the medal. I get joy in the experience and the relationships that I get to build during not only these events but during the training. I have made some of my best friends over endurance events and you can talk these people about anything. Medals get lost and they get dusty, these friendships, memories and lessons will never fade. Not only do you get to see how great you are, you get to see how great others are and how far they can go. The takeaway for this in real life is to stop focusing on the extrinsic values and start to focus intrinsic values. Do not be successful just to be successful, define why you want to successful and what will motivate you to get there

Your end result is all about what you put into it. We hear a lot about overnight success stories. The success is not due to luck but because the person that had the success stayed up all night and working their ass off. This is not only true for endurance events but in life as well. If you are not getting where you want to go; give some more, try harder and try it a different way. You cannot expect excellent results when you only give mediocre effort.

Remember why you started. When it gets tough and when it starts to hurt, remember why you started. When it gets easy, you start to enjoy it and you begin to smile, remember why you started. When you feel like giving up, remember why you started. Ironman is a journey and life is a journey.  Making a choice to live bolder is a journey. There will be times when you want to give up but don’t, always remember why you started; it will fuel you to accomplish anything that you want. Always remember why you started.

Show your appreciation. Ironman is amazing for a number of reasons but one of the biggest ones for me are the volunteers and the spectators. Here are people that get up early, stay up late, stay around for hours all for you and ask nothing in return. I know that you have those people in your life. Remember to thank them for being right there with you before, during and after your journey. 

Your end result is all about what you put into it. We hear a lot about overnight success stories and my guess is that it is not due to luck but because the person that had the success stayed up all night and gave everything that they had. This is not only true for endurance events but in life as well. If you are not getting where you want to go, give some more, try harder and try it a different way. You cannot expect excellent results when you only give mediocre effort.

Be ruthless with your life

Your time is limited, so stop wasting it on things that do not matter, with people that do not matter or. Sometimes we care too much other times we just get sucked in because we want to be part of the group, not because we really like the people but because we do not want to be left out.

We need to start to be ruthless in everything that we do. This does not mean that you have to be rude, it means knowing what is worth your time and what is not, more importantly who is worth your time and who is not.

We all want to belong to and feel part of the group but what is easy to forget is that just because we are a part of a group does not mean that we are meant to be there. We try and make ourselves fit in to people we do not like that have ideas that go against what we believe just to fit in but we never really fit in, we always feel like we are out.

I believe almost everyone wants to do good in the world and wants to help others and that is a blessing and a curse. At times it helps us do amazing things but then it can make us believe that investing our valuable time into people that are not worth it is worth it. When I say this by no means and am I saying that people are useless but I am saying that some people do not deserve your time.

How often have you spent hours being frustrated with someone that did you wrong, pisses you off or tells you that you cannot do something? You are wasting your time on people that do not matter instead of investing it with people that do matter. We think about proving them wrong and making them hurt, getting even and making every move to spite them, when we do this, we are not winning, we are losing.

I have a problem of talking about things I have no control over and that I cannot change, every minute that I do this is a minute taken away from something else that I can control, that I can improve something where I can see the impact I have created.

We need to be ruthless with our time and how we spend it and who we spend it on. Life is too short for us to just give our time away, our mind away and our energy away. We need to consciously focus our efforts on the things that matter and the people that matter. It is the only way that we can truly get anything done. If we keep wasting our time on people and things that do not matter it takes away from the things that do. It not only takes away our time but it takes away our energy, how many times have you thought to yourself “I just do not have the energy” I believe that this happens because we focus too much on the things that do not matter and it drains us.

I am not implying that we do not do what it is hard. I believe doing what is hard, different or causes us pain is a great thing, if we do it for the right reasons. We need to focus your energy on what matters and on who matters. If we do this, we can grow so much more and take on so much more that matters

Failure by Default

How many times have you thought about doing something only to tell yourself all the reasons why it could not possibly happen, where you would fail and all that could possibly go wrong? You dismiss the opportunity and try to forget all about it. I say try to forget because you never really forget about it, just give up on it, believing that never trying is better than failing. Unfortunately this line of thinking seems to be accepted in the world that we live in. We suffer from a symptom that I call “Failure by default”

The funny part of it all is the thing that we fear the most, FAILURE happens right away when we choose to not go after what we want or to go past our current boundaries because of the fear that we are not good enough, smart enough, rich enough or whatever you want to insert here to get what we want. We do not even give the idea a chance to have life, a chance to grow, we just dismiss it because we are afraid of being a little successful and then failing and instead we choose to fail with no success.

In the end, hard work, grit and dedication pay off and that is hard to believe when you are looking at a big idea that will change the world or at least change your life or something that willjust be different. It is easy to let the voices get to you that tell you not to take that chance, to not be adventurous and to be okay with not doing what you really want. In the end when we choose that path, we know what the results will be if you do not take the chance, it will never happen.

Sometimes we are blind to the fact that we are still failing if we never started on the journey. How can it possibly be a failure if we never tried it, it is a failure not because something went wrong but because you never gave it a chance, give a chance, work hard and see what happens.

Start taking those chances you fear and start believing that you have what it takes. In the end it begins with the choice on if you will try or not. If you try you can fail but if you do not try you will fail. It does not have to be a big move by any means; in fact you can start off small. Even the smallest choices can be hard to make but they are worth it.

So undeserving

One of my favorite things to do is to watch inspiring stories of amazing individuals on Ellen. One day while browsing through there was a segment about a young lady that would be receiving money. In the interview Ellen mentioned that the young lady had to give up cable to be able to feed her children, this stopped me in my tracks.

I was mad, frustrated and upset. How could giving up your cable be considered like such a big deal. I live with cable and I am able to survive. There are plenty of people out there that live with so much less and in my opinion are so much more deserving. Then it hit me like a bag of bricks, very rarely do we ever get what we truly deserve and more importantly the idea that we have the right to judge the worthiness of anyone is wrong.

There will always be someone who wants it more, deserves it more and has suffered more. Yet for some reason that cannot be explained we get so much more than we deserve. I for one can say with absolute certainty that if I was given everything that I deserve, I would not be where I am today.
Far too often in my own life, I have held back kindness, words of encouragement or praise for someone because I did not believe they deserved it. I did not believe that they had done enough to earn what I could give them and what could potentially change their life and the true misery of it all is I lost far more when I did not share than I would have lost or potentially lost with sharing it, all because I did not think they were deserving.

The problem I faced and still face at times is the belief that I have the right and the need to base my actions on how deserving an individual is. I understand the fact that we need to choose who we spend our time with and make sure we spend our time with those that bring us up. This is a different concept. It is not about whom you spend your time with; it is about a simple action to choose kindness and to choose to give the best version of yourself every single second of your life.
In life we always have two options, to give the best version of ourselves or to settle for something less. When we settle, we do more of a disservice to ourselves than to anyone else. When we choose to not give the best version of ourselves we not only impact our current situation in a negative way but our future as well. Every decision we make brings us closer or further away to our goals and to becoming an even better version of ourselves.

It is the people that have chosen to constantly give the best version of themselves with blatant disregard to what was happening around them that stick out in our mind. Think of Anne Frank, and everything that she dealt with in her lifetime. Martin Luther King who lived in a time where it would have been easy to embrace violence, decided to give the best version of himself and inspire a nation. In my own life I think of two individuals who keep me going every single day and have inspired me beyond words, while I have many of these people in my life, this mother and son stick out. Their names are Annika and Bo Johnson.

Bo was diagnosed with a rare form of Leukemia at the age of 12 and sadly his life ended far too soon on September 28, 2012. While the news is devastating I do not think I am doing him proper justice by just focusing on the battle he had to endure, the real story of inspiration is the life he lived inspire of it all. Bo’s message is simple, Love each other, help each other, have your neighbor's back. If you see someone in need- even a stranger- reaches out and helps. This world can be a better place if we care and help each other. When he was sent home to spend his last remaining days with his family and friends, he did not focus on being negative because of the situation he was in but instead he decided to give the best version of himself and to change the world and the lives of the people around him. Then you have Annika, the mother of Bo, a women who had the most important and precious thing in her life taken away from her. To most this would be the start to living the rest of your life full of hate and seeing all the evil in the world. This is not Annika; she gives the best version of herself and continues to change the world around her. She cheers on every patient battling cancer with the hope that no one will ever have to go through losing someone they love like she did. I imagine a world where they both made the decision to simply not give the best version of themselves, it certainly would have been understandable, they certainly would have been deserving to do so but they decided not to, and instead of hiding from the world, they went out and changed it.

There are two messages I want you to get from this post. The first I hope is clear, stop judging people, yourself and your actions based on what is “deserved” and simply give the best version of yourself. The second is that I want you to realize that the only way you can change the world is by giving the best version of yourself. You do not need some giant plan, you just need to be yourself.

Life is too short...

We often use the saying “life is too short” or some variation of it to help us deal with an issue, put things into perspective or motivate us. While the saying has a lot of sentiment, we need to stop using it as a source of motivation and as an excuse. It puts us at odds with trying to do everything before we die. Here are some examples of that prove my point.

We often use “life is too short” as a mantra to no longer put up with negative people in our life. First let me say that I do not think anyone should waste any time with someone who brings them down. It is unhealthy and you deserve better. It does not matter if it is a relationship, friendship or someone you work with. Spend as little time with these people as you can and if you can get them out of your life, do it. If you lived to be 100 or 200 or even 500, would it be okay to spend your time with people that bring you down? The fact of the matter is, you could live forever and you should never spend a moment with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself.

“Life is too short to not take chances”, puts us in a place that we constantly need to worry that if we do not take a chance today or right now, there will never be another one. That we are somehow limited on the chances and opportunities that we have and we need to be sure we never miss one. While I am all for taking chances and making the most out of every opportunity, if we need to compare it to how long we could live, we miss the point. We should not take chances because of the limited time we have on this earth, we should take chances because it is something that we want to do and something we feel called to do. If you take a chance just because of limited time, you are more likely than not, wasting time. In fact the whole idea of chance is absurd to me, yes there will be chances of opportunity for you in your life that come along unexpectedly but we need to be in the mindset that every damn day is an opportunity to live the life you want.

My whole issue with the “life is too short” mentality is that it stops a lot more opportunities than we think. For some, life is too short to follow their dreams. Their dreams will take a great amount of time, and we never know when we could die. Following our dreams mean giving up things that we love and that hurts. Some dreams are long-term and pretty damn ambitious and so for those dreams, we could say life is too short. Life is too short to go and chase all of it, to spend countless hours working on a project and to not even know if it will all work out. Life is too short to not be “happy” and have the easy life. Some dreams mean letting go of other dreams, to stop being comfortable and to be scared at times. The real issue with telling people that life is too short is it makes them judge what they want to do based off of them dying and not based on what they really want to do and where they will have an impact. It is better to be in pursuit of your dreams and die then to not chase your dreams at all because there was not enough time.

We need to focus on the fact that there is so much opportunity. Opportunity is all around us. Fill your life with taking chances and following your dreams because you could live for 50 more years not because you could die tomorrow.

There is something that you need to know.

As I turned 29 I was flooded with birthday love and one message that kept coming across was that I was a source of inspiration for many people, while I appreciate the kind words, I think many times it is lost on people that I am no different than all the rest of the world. I am just one person who decided to take some chances, have some fun and live outside of my comfort zone.

Why I bring this up is that overall I see an issue and a mental barrier to those that we look to for inspiration. The problems is that we see those people at a different level than us, we see all the great things that they are doing and how “perfect” of a life they lead. When we start to see them in that light, we lose faith that we too can be that great and that we can be just as inspiring. We lose faith because we start to think of all the times we have failed and all of the “flaws” we have, so I want to share my story.

Here is the truth. I am stubborn, rude, mean and at times arrogant. I have failed more times than I can count. I am at times afraid, negative and dislike the world. I struggle and my life and my choices are nowhere near perfect. In fact many times in my life, I have had no idea where I was headed or what I would be doing. Far too often I let my anger run my how I think, feel and act. I am at times very unworthy of all the praise and compliments I receive. This is not me feeling bad about myself, it is just the truth.

We look at everything that is wrong with us and we see them as barriers to us being successful. We see them as things we need to hide, dirty little secrets that we cannot share, because who could possibly be worse than us? The voice inside our head, tells us that if we tell anyone these secrets we will become a fraud and unloved.

The truth is it is because of these things not in spite of them that our story can become so great, so powerful and so inspiring. These are the characteristics that we must overcome to become the best version of ourselves. It would be absurdly easy to live a perfect life, where nothing went wrong and you always got your way but it would be an uninspiring one. There would be no story, there would be no hope and there would be no greatness within you.

To me it seems that many times when we talk about accepting ourselves and loving ourselves, we only choose to love and accept the good parts. While I know everyone has an amazing gift and should celebrate how great they are, this type of thinking is flawed. It is flawed because it makes us hide and not love who we really are, with this thinking we only love ourselves when we are perfect and yet we never are.

The choice to embrace and accept our flaws is when we are truly set free, it is then and only then that we can deal with these issues and work on them. If we constantly ignore them, they will not go away but they will become bigger and bigger and take more control over your life.

I want everyone to realize how great they already are and that they need to share it with the world. It is easy for us to talk about all the good times but what really shapes us and creates us for who we are today is the times that we have struggled and where we fell short. We need to start talking about these times more often. We should stop being afraid to admit that we are not perfect, that we struggle and that we are normal with extraordinary gifts.  When we choose to no longer be afraid that is when we truly can be inspiring and embrace how great we truly are.

People

When I lived in Green Bay, there was a gym I used to go to and every once in a while I would be working out next to two people. I can remember a majority of what their conversations were about, I was interested not because it was inspiring but because it scared me. It seemed that all they would talk about is how much their kids have been disappointing them, what their kids have done wrong and ironically why their kids never seemed to want to spend time with them (hard to believe that someone who puts you down, is not on your list of favorite people). This brings me to the topic of the post, surround yourself with people who will bring you up, not put you down.

In my life I have been lucky enough to have the vast majority of people in my life support everything that I do, so vast in fact that I cannot even name one person off the top of my head that has ever told me I cannot do something and I cannot tell you how much that means to me. Many times in my life a friend of a friend has helped me out without really knowing me and yet they invested in me.  I know that all of the support has made a huge difference in everything that I have done and will continue to do. Take time to find the people in your life that have constantly supported you and thank them. One of the best ways you can thank them is by not only supporting them but supporting other people as well.

If you can’t help someone, then do not spend any time bringing them down. When you feel the need to point out what is wrong with someone, my suggestion would be to find what you can improve in yourself. You will never get better by pointing out what is wrong with everyone else and ignoring where you can improve.  Do not spend any time with the people that bring you down or tell you that you are not good enough. It is not you that they do not believe in, but rather they do not believe how great they can be, so instead they focus on other people. As much as it sucks to get rid of these people, you need to do it to go further faster. You can always reach your full potential but it is better to not have someone weighing you down, that could be lifting you up.

As important as it is to keep the right people in your life and get rid of the wrong ones, the most important thing and the biggest success factor is how much you believe in yourself. If you do not believe in yourself no matter how much anyone else does, it will not matter and if you believe in yourself and no matter how much someone tries to bring you down, it will never happen because you know better.

Most importantly one of the things that you need to remember is that you matter, and that you are enough. I know this may sound cheesy and cliché but it is the truth. It is my belief that many people put this idea down simply because they do not believe in themselves and are afraid of how great they could be. They see all of their insecurities and everything that they have done wrong and they believe that it defines them. They surround themselves with people who do not support them but bring them down and it is a never ending battle to fight trying to prove that you are good enough until you believe it yourself.

The Starbucks "FIasco"

I will admit it, I was not a huge fan of the #RaceTogether campaign that Starbucks CEO, Howard Schultz started earlier this month. I understood the concept but I thought the vehicle he chose to deliver the message was ultimate not the right decision. That being said Schultz also had a big hand in buying a 3.8 million dollar business and turning it 13 billion dollar giant, that started a movement of coffee houses to pop up all over the world, so chances are, he may know a thing or two about business and as big of a mistake as the #RaceTogether idea may have been, Schultz once again proved why he will continue to be successful in business.

He is not afraid of failure. When the #RaceTogether idea was first announced, not many people bought into it. I am willing to bet, Schultz knew that it could be a failure but he did it anyway. He took a chance and it did not turn out well but the key is, he took a chance. While everyone else was poking holes in his idea, he was out on the battlefield taking a risk and seeing where it would take him and the organization. He did not just talk about it, he did something about it. How many times in your organization has your leader talked about making a change but has never pulled the trigger?

I know that today when the news came out that it was being cut, cut back, removed or whatever you want to call it, many including myself at first yelled “I told you so!” the only unfortunate thing is that I was in Minneapolis and Schultz was not by me. In this reverse course is further proof that Schultz will continue to be successful and another lesson for not only for business but for life as well, when you are going the wrong direction, change course. Schultz may have had to eat his words but the fact is, he was not afraid to do it. He did what was best for the organization and put the fact that it would make him look bad on the back burner; he put the long-term goals of the organization ahead of the short-term. In everyone’s life there has been a time where you have had to change your course even when you knew it would suck.

There are a few lessons from this #RaceTogether that you can apply to not only your business but your life as well. The first is to stop being afraid to make mistakes, mistakes will always happen. You can choose the mistake of not trying or make a mistake while trying. In one you know the results; in the other the doors are open. The second thing we can learn is that if you want to see change, you must take action. Schultz did not want change he tried to create it. While most people just sit around and wait he took initiative. Another lesson I want to touch on is the fact that too often we only focus on the results. Far too often it is either a pass or fail grade. We forget the most important part, what we learned in the middle, those critical lessons that we must learn to be successful and that made us successful. The final lesson I want to point out is that no matter how right you think you are, never be afraid to change your course when you see a mistake. Would you have stayed on the Titanic while it was sinking because of the “fact” that it was unsinkable? Pay attention to your surroundings and focus on the best term solution, instead of being right. 

Why I stopped running for myself

When I tell people about some of the endurance events, they begin to tell me how they could never do that, how hard it must be, how much time I must have had to give up to get there and then there are times where they tell me that they are not strong enough to do what I do. I want to grab them and look them in the eyes and tell them the truth, they are and you are.

What you have to know is the truth. I am not all that strong, I get frustrated, I get pissed off, I lose my way, I get off track and there are times when I just give up. I have lost faith in myself to believe that I could accomplish what I have set out to do. The truth is, I am weak, I am vulnerable and I fall short a lot more than most of you will know. Now there is another thing that you need to know, none of this really matters because of the people I run for. It is because of them that I can endure the pain, training and frustration that goes into accomplishing my goals.

I tell you these things not because I want your sympathy or because I do not like myself but because you all need to know this. That if I can do such "crazy" things you can as well. There is nothing that makes me greater than anyone else.

Here are just a few of my many highlights of what I can do with the power of other people.

I did a 50 mile road race in Door County, WI. I ran for a young man named Bo Johnson who I never had the pleasure of meeting and yet he was with me the whole time. Bo passed away from Cancer at the age of 13 which was not enough time for the world but enough time for Bo to impact the world. In his final days instead of giving up on life, he gave life everything. He inspired thousands of people to act in kindness and be a bright light even at the world's darkest moments. I continue to run for not only him but his mother Annika as well. Cancer took the most precious thing away from her that anyone could ever imagine, her son. Many people would become bitter, angry, mad and start to hate the world and then there is Annika. A women that chose to continue Bo's legacy of going out and making the world a better place and inspiring and acting with kindness. She is in the corner of anyone that has battled cancer or is battling cancer. She is overjoyed when she hears about people overcoming cancer. I know that as much as Bo has taught her and has inspired her, she did the same for Bo and always had this passion in her.

In 2014 I completed Ironman Wisconsin with two of my best friends, Aaron Hunnel and Katie Neuman. Katie has CP so Aaron and I were lucky enough to be able to be her arms and legs that day. When I tell people this, their response usually is a compliment about how selfless I am, and while I appreciate it, it needs to be known that it was not as selfless as it seems. Katie had just as much to do with crossing the finish line that day as Aaron and I did. Katie kept Aaron and I going the whole time, in fact she did such an amazing job that the whole day was an amazing adventure. That day we swam, biked and ran not only for Katie who is amazing, inspiring, relentless and positive beyond measure but for everyone to provide hope. Katie is bound to a wheel chair pretty much every second of her life. She is not there because of some choice that she made or that her parents made but just because of bad luck and yet Katie is one of the happiest and positive people you will ever meet. She gets life and what it really means to live.

Later in 2014 I ran an indoor 12 hour treadmill run to help raise money for pediatric cancer research and to provide scholarships for pediatric cancer patients. To most runners, including myself the treadmill is not our best friend. Telling people about this event, many of them said they would never even think about doing that and yet when I put it into perspective of the kids and families we ran for, it really is not that bad. On that run I thought a lot about what it would be like to know that your child is battling cancer and how heartbreaking that would be. To know that no matter how much you try and how hard you fight the odds are not in your favor. I thought about the kids who never asked to sign up for a disease that is trying to kill them. The fact that many of them are not even in high school and most people's definition of their age, they would have no understanding of what life is really about and yet they do. They understand life more than 99% of this world ever will. They live when they are being told to die.

As I tell people about my future plans, I once again am given support and at the same time I am asked the question of "Why would you ever want to do that" or the statement of "That sounds like it would suck." What I want you all to know is that why it may suck it is one million times easier and better than everything that the people I run for have to deal with. The pain I feel is temporary and the pain of the people I run for never really goes away and yet they live and inspire people beyond measure.

If you want to be inspired, stop running for yourself and start running for someone else. This applies to life just like it does running, stop living for yourself and start living for something greater, If for no other reason than the simple fact that if you do everything for yourself, your legacy dies when you do but even if you spend one minute investing in something greater than yourself, you live forever.

An Ironman Moment

To start off with, this post really is not about Ironman but it is about a way to live your life. It is a deliberate choice that is made every day. It is not always easy but it is always worth it.

An Ironman moment in your life is a point in your life that you will never forget.

An Ironman moment is an investment with compounding interest. The series of small choices you make on what you will do to and what you will stop doing to get to your moment all adds up and become greater than the sum of their whole. The more you do, it does not become easier but the impact becomes greater.

The choices become so much greater because with each one, you take a step outside of your comfort zone, which creates a bigger comfort zone. It is a choice to challenge yourself to go further while appreciating where you have been. When I ask people about doing an Ironman, their main response is the fact that they have never swam that far or are not that good of a swimmer. I am not sure how to break it to you but no one knew how to swim when they first started training. If we stopped ourselves from where we were and what our current skills set were, we would never get anywhere. We would never do anything. No one, no matter how great they are was able to swim the whole distance. Apply this outside of an Ironman to your life right now, what is it that you want to do but currently cannot because of where you are? You can spend your entire life focusing on why you cannot get there or you can spend your life figuring out the next step you need to take to get there. One will lead you nowhere while the other will change your life.

People talk about all the time that they will have to dedicate to get there. You are right, it is a lot of time to dedicate and it is worth it. The time will pass anyway; you might as well invest it in doing something that changes your life. Think beyond an Ironman, this applies to every aspect of your life. If you want something you have to work for it and invest the time. I am willing to be that the time you think you will miss, will go unnoticed. You can spend your time working towards your goal or slipping away from it. They both bring challenges, when you work towards your goals, these challenges help you grow, when you choose to ignore your goals these challenges make you feel a fraction of how great you really are.

This moment in your life is about experiencing how truly great you are and not in an arrogant way but in a way that excites you to do more, be more and live more. It is about putting everything on the table and seeing what you are truly made of. It is reaching your limits and breaking them. Most people will never truly understand how great they are, not because they are not courageous enough but because they have been told to settle for just being okay and that doing the least amount of work is all that they need to get by. Take a look around you, everywhere there are hacks and tricks to do less work in less time and supposedly get more from it. I see this all as a lie. I do not believe that you there is any shortcut to true success because in the end, success is not just the end goal but it is the work that went into reaching that goal.

The secret is that you do not have to start with an Ironman but you do have to start somewhere, so whether it is running a 5K, doing your first sprint, switching careers, moving to a different city or whatever you can think of, you just have to start and move forward.

Present

When was the last time that you can remember being fully present and not pulled in multiple directions? How did it feel and what were you able to do?

The ability to be present is key to being successful in today’s world, whether it be at work or in your social life. In a world where our attention is constantly being drawn into hundreds if not thousands of directions, the ability to focus on one thing is not only a difficult task but a critical one.

What does it mean to be present? It is beyond just showing up and checking your name off the list, it not just one thing but multiple things you must do in order to be present. It is hard to just tell people to be present as the ability to be present is not a direct input but rather an outcome of how you act. Here are some of the traits I see as needed in order to be present.

Purposeful: If you want to be present you must live with a purpose. A purpose helps you stay grounded and provides you direction. Your purpose acts as your guide to making your most critical decisions. If you are busy trying to decide what your purpose is, you will not be able to pay attention and truly be present. Don’t worry, you do not need to know your life purpose in order to be present but you need a purpose for the day. So when you wake up, pick one thing you want to focus on. It can be a project or it can be a skill that you want to improve upon and make that your focus for the day.

Respect: This applies to everything: people, projects, ideas, and whatever else you can think of. Without respect you are constantly judging people against what you think is right. You are not giving your whole self because you lack the respect that is needed to do so. Forget if the other person does not respect you, that is their choice. You have a choice and if you want to live in a life based on the decisions of other people you will never be present and more importantly you will never be living.

Listen: The ability to truly listen. It is an amazing and not used often enough and many people have the definition wrong. You are not listening if you are thinking about what to say next or what you want to say. You are not listening if you try to finish the other person’s sentence. You are not listening if you are busy on your phone or on your computer. No matter how small the “other thing” is, it is still not listening if you can focus on something else. If you truly want to be present you need to listen.

All-In: It is impossible to be present unless you are all-in, in what you are doing or the conversation that you are having. If there is anything else competing for your attention and you let it get some you are not being completely present. When you are all-in you are focused on one thing. You have to give it your best effort if you want to be present.

Courage: If you do not have courage you cannot be present because you will be too focused on being “right” and not making a mistake. You will hold yourself back from being your true self and therefore not be able to give 100% of yourself. Courage is not always facing a giant; it is sometimes it is disagreeing or making a small decision that has a big impact. It is having courage in not only the people and projects in your life but more importantly the courage of you.

Faith: Now this is has nothing to do with religion or spirituality, that is a whole different subject. This faith is the faith in yourself to begin with. Faith that you are able to do whatever you have been asked to do and that you will succeed. It is faith in everything around you and that you are on the right path. When you worry about what could be or what could go wrong, you stop yourself from being present.

Most importantly what you have to remember is that he ability to be present is a choice that cannot be faked. While it may be hard and difficult to be present, the investment is worth it. When you are present you are able to reach your fullest potential and do your best and most impactful work.

Stop hacking your life

If I have to see one more article about “hack” your life I may just throw up.

On the surface hacking your life seems like such a good idea, you save time and you can get “more” done. What more could you possibly want, you get to skip over all that “work” and just get the reward.

This would all be great except for the fact that it is all so wrong. Life is not about your accomplishments, it is about the journey and what it took you to get there. If you could just take an elevator to the top of Mount Everest would it still be an amazing accomplishment? The answer is no, and that is what hacking really is, it is a way to cheat yourself out of the work but to also cheat yourself out of some valuable life lessons and character building that go along with it. It stops you from having amazing stories that you will remember for the rest of your life. It lacks life.

One of my biggest accomplishments was completing Ironman Wisconsin with Team Katie. I can remember the finish line like it was yesterday and what I can still remember is all the work that went into it. The early mornings, Saturday’s dedicated to your workout and going to bed around 9:00 pm on a Friday night and it was all so worth it, it made the journey. If I had the chance to just be able to take a pill a day before and be ready, I would refuse because it lacks life.

Hacking your life seems like such a good idea because you can avoid all that “pain” that goes along with actually putting in the work but that is where the real magic happens. You see how strong you really are and how hard work pays off. You get to experience the thrill of living in those moments of pain and when you overcome them to move on.

One of the biggest selling points of hacking or in fact the main selling point is all the time you save and yet time is one of the main ingredients for success. It takes time to develop anything that is truly sustainable and powerful. If that time scares you, maybe you should not be doing it in the first place.

Stop missing life and start to really live life. Yes hacking your life is so much easier and there is less pain but it is nothing compared to the feeling you get when you accomplish something you never thought you could do and did the actual work.

Enough

You are enough, plain and simple. You are enough to accomplish anything that you want to. You are enough to make your biggest dreams come true. Who you are and what you bring to the table is enough. The gifts, talents and love that you give is enough so stop believing everyone that tells you different. Your life is enough.

We need you; we don’t need another whoever we need you. We need your talents, we need your passion and we need your skills. You are enough.

God does not make mistakes so stop thinking that your life was a mistake because it was not. Everything that you have been through, all the mistakes you have made, the times you have fallen, the success and the best times of your life have put you exactly where you need to be. Stop worrying and start believing that you are enough because you are.

Now you are enough and so is everyone else around you, they are enough as well. What an amazing gift we could give to someone if we told them that they were enough, that they did not need to marginalize themselves any longer. It is a simple, yet powerful gift.

If you want to change the world here is your chance, I want you to find someone that is struggling and let them know that they are enough. They do not need to fight anymore with what society tells them and that who; they are right now is and always has been enough.

I have been lucky enough to be on the receiving end of this and it changed my life. It is a powerful message that will change lives.

What are you waiting for?

Many times it is said that if there is a God, how can he let so much evil happen in the world?

What is forgotten is that God has done something in fact he has done, he has done about 7.2 billion things to help stop the evil in the world. God created everyone on this earth and we are the people that can stop the evil, stop the hate and make the world a better place.

There are going to be some people in this world that will tell you, the issue or idea you want to solve or implement can never happen, stop listening to them. It is going to take hard work and you may never see it in your lifetime but you can never be sure of what it may create for the future. The argument that it has never happened, so it can never happen is false, if this argument were true we would have no cars, internet or airplanes. There would still be rampant segregation, women could not vote and we would believe that the world is still flat. The fact of the matter is that the people who tell you it can never happen, do not want it to happen because it would be a change. A change in the way the world works and how it is perceived. Change is scary and sometimes sticking with what sucks even though the other option is so much better, is what happens because the fear that people have in their life is too strong and they let it control their life. Fear should never rule your life.

People need to stop complaining about how all the problems of the world are not there fault. If you stand by and complain about anything you are part of the problem, I do not care who you are, you are part of the problem. Once again we go back to the fear of change and being able to make a move. The ability to actually do something and be vulnerable keeps us at bay but it should not. We are far too strong to let it control our life.

The belief that one person cannot change the world or make a difference is false and needs to be put to rest. Every great movement in history was started by one person. Did Martin Luther King change the world by himself? No. Did Abraham Lincoln make the world a better place by himself? No. Did Maya Angelou, Mother Theresa or Ghandi change the world by themselves? No. Now you may be asking yourself, I thought you said one person could change the world and no you are going against it. My point in all of this is that while these people did not change the world by thiersleves, they choose to be the first one to make a difference and believe it could happen. What if none of these people decided to believe that they could change the world, where would we be today? The point is that you need to believe that you can change the world and then get people to rally behind you to make the change.

We get stuck when we compare ourselves to everyone on that list. I know I have thought I could never be them and I am not supposed to. While it is great to have idols and people you look up to, do not try to be exactly like them. The world does not need another “whoever” what the world needs is you. The world needs your gifts, your talents, your purpose and your passion. So start giving us your gifts because we need it.