Friday, May 16, 2014

Forgiveness and Forward Progress

I listened to a podcast yesterday that I found to be very informative and had an impact on my life. It was about dealing with fear, guilt and achieving your dreams. One major point is, we have to deal with our fears and forgive ourselves to truly be the best version of ourselves. Here are a few tips that I gained from the podcast, if you want the full version visit here.

In order to move forward in life you must first identify the limiting beliefs that are holding you back. When you think of your dream life, what are the thoughts that stop you from pursuing it. How do they impact you and how do they make you feel? Why do you think that way? What triggers it and how can you stop it. There is a magic here that many of us forget, if it does not work the first time, we can always change it. Limits were made to be broken.

There are so many times I have set goals for myself and I have fallen short, sometimes I have not even started them at all. I used to beat myself up for not meeting them, get in a bad place and the thoughts would just pile on from there. Where did I get, nowhere, how did I feel, like crap. The result of my negative thinking created nothing positive in return, in fact it created everything negative, yet I thought I deserved to feel this way. I took the present over the future.

A majority of the podcast talked about forgiveness but one thing they did not hit on was appreciation. I think appreciation and forgiveness are very closely related. One of my drivers, that the wonderful folks at Pathmakers helped me discover is appreciation. In order to forgive yourself and to forgive others I believe you have to appreciate who you are. See yourself for the person you were born to be and how you can change lives just by being yourself. This does not mean you are settling in fact it is the exact opposite, you are setting yourself up for great success.

From the podcast, I learned how to handle a breakdown. The steps can be seen here
  1. Handle a breakdown
    1. Identify it
    2. Take responsibility
      1. Even if it is not your fault 
      2. No ego
    3. Acknowledge what happened in a positive light
    4. See the opportunity it it
    5. How are you acting that stops you from achieving your goals
      1. What is missing
      2. What do you need
      3. What needs to be removed
    6. Forgive yourself
  2. How to spot a breakdown
    1. Know the warning signs
    2. Get feedback from your friends
    3. Do not avoid what you are afraid of
Since this is a new activity for me, I wanted to share with you one of my breakdowns.

I had a goal to start my own business that would help people understand their gifts and lead their life from place of passion, freedom and joy. However I have not done that and I have failed in many steps in that direction.

  1. Handle a breakdown
    1. Identify it: I did not reach my goal of starting my own business.
    2. Take responsibility for it:: I did not follow through on taking the necessary steps to make this happen. I let other things get in the way.
    3. Acknowledge what happened in a positive light: While I should have been working on my business, I was able to meet people that changed my life forever. 
    4. The opportunity I have is reminding myself of why I want to start my business. I want to help people live the life they have always imagined.
    5. How are you acting that stops you from achieving your goals
      1. What is missing: I do not think about the future as much as I should. I am missing the self assurance that what I believe and what I can do is enough.. I lack structure or a progress timeline. I do not have the carrot to get me going. The biggest one is the fact that I lack belief in myself to do what I love. I see so many great people out there and I wonder how can I measure up. 
      2. What do I need: I need to support myself and restructure my belief system to see that I am enough and I can do what I love. I need structure to help me get to more progress. I need to keep the end in mind.
      3. What needs to be removed: Negative and judgmental people, anger, fear, holding grudges, holding on to the past and forgetting my gifts.
    6. Forgiveness: At the end of the day I need to forgive myself for what I did not do and where I fell short. If I do not, nothing good will come from it.

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