Are You Asking Yourself The Right Questions?

A few days ago I was talking with a new good friend of mine. He is a podcaster and coach who decided to quit his job without any “Plan B” and dive fully into the world of entrepreneurship. He has started to gain some great momentum and is delivering massive value to the planet but he ran into a road block. He is not generating enough revenue to pay back his debts and maintain the quality of life he is striving to create.

He knew my story of leaving a job I hated to work at a dream job, while building my own dream company on the side. He wanted to know how I did it and if I had any recommendations on how he could do it. We dove into the conversation and he told me about an opportunity that sounded fairly interesting to him, but had a great deal of unknowns around it. He would have to change location, time zone, and dive into a totally new area in a totally new country. So I asked him a simple question. “What would you want to do ideally if you had to get a job while building your business on the side?”

He began listing off criteria: location independent, a progressive company, would help him learn skills that would aid him in developing his own company, and so on. I then asked, “What companies that you know of fit this description?” He quickly rattled off 3-4 companies and said how interesting it would be to work at any of those places.

I asked if he had contacted any of them or checked their available job openings and he said he had not. Prior to us speaking he had never even considered the possibility of working for a dream company, a company that totally excited him, and gave him both the funds and freedom to build his business on the side.

I use this example to illustrate a very clear example of the quality of the questions we ask in our lives. Your heart and brain are an incredible problem solving duo. Whatever questions you put in front of them, they will work to solve them as best they can. This works both in the positive and the negative.

“How can I get a job?” May seem like a good question, because the goal is to get a job right? Well if you want ANY job at ANY company with ANY working conditions and ANY work/life balance, your brain will find an answer to that question.

Let’s reframe that same situation and say you asked, “How can I find an amazing job for a dream company that excites me, engages me, and will help me embrace my unique gifts to make a meaningful contribution to this company and the world. A company that challenges me to grow and connects me with incredible people from all over the world. A company that leaves me the freedom to spend time with family, friends and develop a social life outside of my working hours. A company that compensates me in a way that allows me to live how I’ve always dreamt. How can I work for a company like that?”

Guess what, your brain and heart are going to go to work on that question as well and work to find an answer.

What if the answer isn’t readily available? Well lucky for us, we live in the internet age. Time to do some research. Wouldn’t you rather spend 20 minutes, 2 hours, or even a week researching a dream company and a dream role to apply for rather than just defaulting to the jobs you currently know exist that may not connect with the passion in your heart?

So what happened with my friend after our talk? The next day he got back to me and said he checked one of the dream companies and they had a role that was perfect for him and would check more of his boxes for a dream job than he ever thought possible before. All it took was two simple things. A few reframed questions to shift his perspective and him being willing to take action.

I want to ask you, where are you asking questions that scare you, tear you down, or disempower you?

Questions like:

• What’s wrong with me?
• Why am I so stupid?
• Why am I so disconnected with my spouse/significant other?
• Why am I so fat?
• Why do I always mess things up?
• Why can’t I get over my fear of getting to know new people?

With all of these questions your conscious and subconscious minds are going to go out and look for proof for whatever questions you ask. They will go and seek out every shred of evidence to help answer the question you have posed. Let’s see what would happen if you asked the same core questions differently.

Questions reframed (respectively):

• What do I want to improve about myself and how can I get started? 
• Where do I want to grow in my life and learn more and what is one thing I could do today to start that process? 
• How can I connect more deeply with my spouse/significant other? 
• How can I love my body no matter how it looks but also work to get healthier every day? 
• What have I done in the past that I never want to do again? What can I do next time I am faced with that situation to respond in a way that empowers me? 
• How can I start getting over my fear of meeting new people today?

Now imagine your heart and brain going to work on this set of questions. They get excited and engaged to take on exciting problems that empower you to help you become the person you know you are meant to be, the person that already exists inside you that you are working to let out.

Questions are huge. Not only HOW we ask them but WHAT we are asking ourselves makes all the difference. The mindsets we approach life with are so critical in determining how we go through our day to day experience. A positive mindset doesn’t mean that everything is going to be perfect; it just means that when things go wrong, you’ll be able to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back out there making your unique mark on the world.

I will leave you with this, what is one question you can reframe today to empower you to take action and step into your greatness? Reframe it and take that action. Right now. Don’t wait for tomorrow, do it right now and start showing yourself the love you so deeply deserve. Do this and life will quickly look brighter than ever before.

I love you guys, dream big, take action, I promise it’s worth it.

                                                                    

Brian Drury

Founder of Overcoming Graduation LLC

Creator and Host of the Overcoming Graduation Podcast

Author of the #1 Amazon Best Seller, The First Step

P.S. If there is any way I can be of service to you, please feel free to contact me at Brian@OvercomingGraduation.com. If you would like to learn more about participating in my Coaching Program, visit OvercomingGraduation.com/coaching . I love connecting with exciting engaged people from all over the world! 

It Takes Time

The Redwood Tree is one of the tallest and oldest trees in the world.  They reach heights of 350 feet and 24 feet in diameter and with a life-span of 2,000 years¹, chances are they are not going anywhere. What does the Redwood have to do with success? Time.

Success takes time and in a world where instant gratification is gold, time is the enemy. We want to be more productive and efficient getting everything done faster to save us time but what we really need is time.

It is not a lack of solutions to our problems that is an issue, it is the fact that we give so little time for our solutions to work before we give up on them. It is not just our problems but our opportunities as well.

Your success whether it be personal or business related will take time.

Joel Osteen a famous pastor spends hours rehearsing his sermon each week before he steps a foot in front of his congregation. By the time the sermon is televised he has practiced it in front of a live audience two times.²

Mike Reilly The Voice of Ironman reviews the names of each participant four to five times for every race that he does. He reviews the bios as well, and then picks out 10 to highlight. With around 2,500 participants it requires hours of time. It takes him less than a minute to say your name as you cross the finish line but it means a world of difference when he says it right. It is a huge reason that he is so popular and people look forward to hearing him.³

There are many more.

Time is one of the most valuable resources we have. Not just because it is limited but because of the enormous potential it holds. If you have enough time, you can do anything.

Your goals require talent, skill, passion, money and hard work all of which are driven by time. The more time you devote to what you want to do and where you want to go the faster you will get there. Many of us do not lack talent, education, or ability but what we lack is the ability to devote the time to make real progress. We give up way too easily because unlike a Jimmy Johns we cannot be freaky fast, but we can make freaky progress with time.

¹ http://www.livescience.com/39461-sequoias-redwood-trees.html² http://www.forbes.com/sites/carminegallo/2012/01/09/joel-osteen-7-keys-to-successful-public-speaking/#58c6c7676a97 ³ http://www.timesfreepress.com/news/local/story/2014/sep/28/mike-reilly-is-the-voice-of-ironman/268198/

Finding Your Passion

You are in the standing in the ocean, looking at the beach and a giant wave comes behind you and drenches you in ice cold water. You become instantly cold, almost frozen. It is a feeling that you will never forget, it is just like finding your passion.

If you are never in the ocean, you can never get hit by a wave and if you never take action to feel your passion, you will never find it. We cannot just find our passion if we take a seat on the sidelines and wait for it, we need to be out in the ocean.

If you have ever been hit by a wave, it is a feeling that you will never forget and when you find your passion it is a feeling that you will never forget. The problem for many of us is the journey to find our passion because just as powerful as the feeling of finding your passion is, not find your passion is strong as well.

Have you ever lost your keys? You know the saying “They are always the last place you look.” The truth is that even if you found them the first place that you looked, it would still be the last place. It is not that you do not have a passion; it is just that you have not found it yet. Every place you try and find your keys, you become more and more frustrated. It is not long before it all seems hopeless and you begin searching where you first started. This happens to all of us as well when we try to find our passion, it is frustrating and it feels helpless but at the end of the day, you need to find it to take off.

You can tell someone that has passion from a mile away. They just seem more alive, they love life and they have such an intense and yet calming presence that it is impossible to ignore. That is what I want to help you do, I want to help you find your passion and the biggest advice I can give you is to keep looking, even when it seems pointless because you are going to find it.

How to love the life you have, to get the life you want (8 tips to get you there)

We most likely have something we want to improve about ourselves. To be in better shape, make more money, not be so stressed out are just a few. At times the improvements we want to make mount up against us instead of helping us. Growth is a key to success however it needs to be positive growth.

At times in our life, we think about all the things that we want, that we should be and how we are not where we really want to be and it gets us down. We start to devalue ourselves and so begins the slippery slope down the mountain side of self-worth. When you are sliding down, you sure as hell are not worried about how you will get to the top, you are just trying to not crash into the ground.

So what makes some succeed and others fall down the mountainside? It is not drive; we all have that or had it until we killed it in ourselves. The difference is mindset. Here are some ways you can shape your mindset to grow.

1) Be grateful for everything. This includes the good and bad times. Just because you are grateful for a bad time in your life does not mean that you liked it, it simply means that you learned from it.

2) Stop focusing on yourself: The unhappy people I meet are just concerned about themselves. They do not spend much time helping much less thinking about how they can help others. Truly happy people are always looking for ways to help others and make the lives of others better.

3) Stop being so entitled: The world is not out to get you, life is just not fair. The real reason you did not get that job, came in second or you were not admitted to the school you wanted is because someone else did a better job than you did. Entitlement is a self-debilitating disease. The worst part is that it feels so right to feel ripped off and to put the blame for our shortcomings on someone else. When we become entitled we give up our freedom and we lessen our impact on not just our lives but those around us.

4) You are blindly drinking the Kool-Aid: Fit in and be like everyone else and to question nothing in our lives. Go to school, work, have a family, retire and die. It may sound morbid but this is the current definition of a successful life. If you want to go to school, get a job, have family and retire that is fine but at least think about it. Is it really what you want to do or is it what you are told to do. If not do something different and pay no attention to what everyone else tells you.

5) You are not consistent or persistent: We all have dreams. We just get caught up in the daily execution of the small tasks that make up our future. If we want to lose weight we let it slip on day because we have six other days in the week to make up for it. Life is a cumulative event, the more you can do, the more often you can do it, no matter how small, and the better off you will be. Waste no moment.

6) You forget to ask for help: You want to kick some ass and change your life? You want to be a better version of yourself? That is freaking awesome and you can do it. Just remember that you do not need to do it alone. There are plenty of people out there that are more than happy to help you. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of your strength.

7) You lack perspective: Rarely do we think about how great we have it because we think it is better for us to feel sorry for ourselves. We feel that if we feel bad for ourselves and we focus on what we do not have and make ourselves feel like crap about it will somehow motivate us to do more. Learn you’re your experiences; see the bright side and grow.

8) You have no goals to achieve: Goals are crazy and overwhelming. You have two choices you can let that knowledge scare you or you can let it inspire you. The work is going to be the same but it is all a matter of how you approach it. If you want to lose weight that is great but that is not a goal that will help you succeed. Make your goals specific. How much weight do you want to lose, when do you want to lose it by and why do you want to lose it?

Your mindset will triumph your life. If you do not believe that you can achieve something you will never achieve it until you change your mind. The ideas above are not just ideas they are lessons that I have taken from my own life.