The Power of Team

This is a guest post by my friend Aaron Hunnel. Aaron is a public speaker that will help your organization and team members live with positivity, passion and purpose. Learn more about Aaron or how to hire him to speak at your organization at http://aaronhunnel.com/

People are one of the greatest resources we have at our fingertips to help us succeed in life. From the moment we are born into this world until the moment we pass away, we are influenced, affected and changed by people. Understanding this relationship is extremely important. We all have different strengths, talents and treasures. We all have different experiences, perspectives and definitions of success. What sets the human race apart from other species is our ability to look beyond our differences, find our similarities, and come together to support one another. This heuristic approach to life is one of the most sustainable and productive forms of building a community, or more particularly, a team.

Teams are quite commonplace in all levels of society. A band, comprised of a guitar, drummer and singer is essentially a team. An organization, made up of different levels of management, departments, and leaders, again is essentially a team. Take a gander at what a quarterback, wide receiver, offensive line, defense, and coaching staff all have in common – you guessed it, they are all part of a team. See the pattern here? We have teams at all levels of society. You could even stretch this conceptualization of teamwork a bit further and argue that communities, territories, states, nations, continents and even the world is one really BIG team. Some are flourishing as teams, embodied with the collective values and vision to which each member is committed. Then there are other teams, who are struggling, much-in-part because of their inability to find a way to come together.

You’ve probably heard the term before, “A team is only as strong as its weakest link.” Well, I believe that’s wrong, because all members of a team play a viable role in each other’s success. If you believe that someone is your weakest link, you’re likely to treat them as such. This mindset can create an unhealthy dynamic, and put a lot of pressure on the “weakest” to the point that it disrupts the team’s ability to focus on their vision, their values and achieving that which they (the team) want to achieve.

A more appropriate saying would be – A team is only as strong as its ability TO link. That means, a team’s likelihood of success depends on how a team can gel, come together, and use the strengths of each other to create a solid foundation for success. If you focus on someone’s weakness, you are likely to miss their strengths. Capitalizing on strengths are necessary for this “linking” to occur. Here are a couple ideas of how and how not to bring a team together:

1. Understand the following model in terms of how they relate to group dynamics.
1. Forming – This is the initial stage were people in the team start to learn about others on their team. Some may feel a bit anxious about meeting new people or about what others will think of them. As relationships begin to grow, the team will move into the next stage.
2. Storming – During this stage, the team starts to push the boundaries beyond a simple relationship with each other. Authority can be challenged. Conflict is likely to arise. Some may resist the direction of others. Understand that this is all part of the process. One very important piece during this stage however, is that there is some sort of mediation and resolution. Conflict can be healthy, but only if the intent is to resolve said conflict and use it to learn and grow together. Unresolved conflict can lead to various degrees of angst, turmoil and individualism within the team and prolong the ability to cohesively align vision, goals and values. Once a team can effectively surmount conflict, they will gain greater insight and clarity for what they are wanting and move into the next phase.
3. Norming – During this stage, teams resolve to respect differences and appreciate strengths. Cohesiveness becomes particularly strong, and the commitment to each other trumps the commitment to self. As this mindset and dynamic increases and improves, teams move into the final phase.
4. Performing – During this phase, teams begin to peak towards growth and commitment, and performance perpetually increases. Relationships are strong, strengths are affluent, and people are socially driven to perform in regards to the success of the team, rather than perform to the success of the individual.

It is important to note that a team can move between any stages of this dynamic. This fluctuation can be healthy and empower teams to become resilient and develop processes and procedures that help move towards performance, true performance. Many teams are stuck in the norming phase. They cannot move past this phase because there is too much focus on self, a lack of leadership to guide the team, or criticizing others’ weaknesses, rather than recognizing strengths. The most successful teams are fluid and can move between each phase with the understanding, awareness and intention of learning, growing and commitment.

1. Another great concept around developing strong teams is the idea of groupthink. While many of us focus on what we Should do, we must also consider what we Should Not do. That’s where groupthink comes in. Groupthink is an inefficient decision-making process of teams who think that they are invulnerable to poor ideas albeit through a myriad of dynamics, most of which include members feeling that they can voice objections, alternative considerations, or unethical dilemmas. Sometimes groups develop ideas and implementations which result in disastrous courses of action. All-the-while this disaster could have been avoided had team members voiced their opinions. This term, introduced by Irving Janis in the 1970’s, includes 8 symptoms:
1. Illusion of invulnerability – Having excessive optimism in the idea(s) around extreme risk-taking.
2. Collective rationalization – Avoiding clear and present warnings and false or illogical assumptions.
3. Belief in inherent morality – Believing that the cause is noble and ignore ethical and moral consequences.
4. Stereotyped views of out-groups – Constructing negative views of those who are outside the group.
5. Direct pressure on dissenters – Considering those who oppose and argue ideas, stereotypes or commitment in the group as disloyal.
6. Self-censorship – Withholding a viewpoint that contradicts a perceived group consensus.
7. Illusion of unanimity – Assuming that everyone agrees with the decision just because some are silent or do not express discontent.
8. Mindguards – Protecting the group from information which threatens the group’s cohesiveness or complacency.

Examples of groupthink occur all the time, sometimes without our awareness. For example, the tobacco companies made their industry seem like the dangers of tobacco use was inconclusive and prolonged the buy-in from Americans around negative health risk. A more practical example in the workplace could be a manager enforcing a rule that prohibits employees from talking with one another while at work. This example, which falls under the pretext of “Belief in inherent morality,” suggests that employees will be more focused on their work if they don’t speak with others. While this might seem like a noble cause to get the most out of employees while on-the-clock for an organization, one would quickly realize that depriving employees of such an inherent need – basic human psychological need to connect with others – will backfire. And what you would likely find is that whoever is enforcing this illogical system has put into place a dynamic where team members are afraid to speak their mind for fear of retaliation (self-censorship) and also does not take input from those outside the group who provides negative, constructive feedback (stereotyped views of out-groups) on the secondary and tertiary consequences of this disastrous action. Consequently, the group will become less productive, have greater frustration, and not support their manager- thus failing as a team.

So how can you avoid the product of groupthink? Try the following:

1. Explicitly emphasize team members to remain impartial
2. Encourage disagreement
3. Assign a team member to be the “devil’s advocate”
4. Ask for outside opinion
5. Encourage discussion outside of the meeting
6. Ask for everyone’s true opinion and value their input

Teamwork is often seen as something that is extremely difficult or hard because of the work it requires to bring people together. Some of us say, all I can focus on is myself. Well, that mindset will counter any ability to increase group cohesiveness. Remember the best teams are those who find a way to put their differences aside, and find the similarities which bring them together. It may be challenging at first, especially if you have a dynamic that has poor, highly-engrained processes and procedures. But, often the hardest things are the most rewarding. Use the strengths of each other. Find the best attributes of one another. Communicate, communicate, communicate by listening first, and talking second. Above all, don’t focus on your weakest link, rather focus on THE link that will empower members of the team to rise above themselves, buy into the collective vision and values, and embark upon the journey as a single unit, a team. 

Six Tips to Make the Most Out of Advice

Advice, criticism, feedback or whatever you call it is one of the biggest opportunities for us to grow, yet we do not take advantage of it often enough. Here are six tips to make the most of the advice you receive.

1. Do not take it personally: This is hard to do and it is the extremely important. The advice, feedback and criticism can be hard to take at times. We are being told that we can improve which for many of us comes off as us being inadequate and not enough. Acknowledge these feelings but do not dwell on them. These people are not trying to make you feel bad they are trying to help you. Figure out how you can use the advice that you have been given.
   
2. Stop seeing it as a negative: Everyone can improve, no matter how successful they are. There is no end to improving. Instead of seeing it as a place where you are inadequate see it as an opportunity to grow and become even better.
   
3. Take immediate action: Change is hard and it only gets harder the more you put it off. There will always be another “tomorrow”. Taking immediate action will start you on the path to becoming the best version of yourself. It sounds scary but it is one step. You do not have to know every step. You just need the courage to take the first step and your destination in mind.
   
4. Take at least one step every day. Success is not stationary, it moves. If you have ever tried to climb up an escalator that is going down you know what success is. If you take it step by step, you will eventually get to the top but if you just stand there, you are going to keep going lower and lower and you will then have that much more ground to cover. Success is attainable but it requires movement and the more you do the better off you are
   
5. Ask for advice before it is given to you: Be proactive in your pursuit of being even more kick ass. Focus on how you can get even better. Take control of your future.
   
6. Be grateful for the people that give you advice: In one of my first jobs out of college, I had managers that would not give me feedback no matter how much I asked for it. It sucked. In other jobs I had managers that gave me advice even when I did not ask for it. If I had to make a choice I would choose getting advice. When someone gives you advice and truly means it, it is one of the biggest compliments that you can ever receive. They are investing their valuable time in you. What is better proof of how worthy you are and how valuable you are than someone taking time out of their day to help you become even more kick ass?

Why

I started this blog for a few reasons. First I want to help people from regretting what they did not do. I do not want anyone to ever to be on their death bed and utter the words, I wish I would have. I also want people to know that no matter what they will always have someone in their corner cheering them on to kick ass, live life to the fullest and experience everything that life has to offer.

The biggest mistake we make is that we never actually live. We put limits on ourselves. We do not have the time. We are not good enough. We could never become as great as we want to be. We believe the lies. You will never be completely ready, you are going to fail and it will hurt but it is worth it. Call me stupid (you wouldn’t be the first) but I would much rather try something once, realize I hate it than to never have tried it.

You can make up for what you did do but you cannot make up for what you did not do.

I want to put the fire back in people that society put out. I have witnessed the awesome power that comes when a fire is lit and the devastating effects when a fire is put out. As bad as society can be, there are people out there that will help keep your fire going. I know because everyone in my life has been there for me and I want to be there for you.

I have never had someone in my life that has told me to stop dreaming or to limit my dreams. I never have once have told someone my dream and my next big idea and have them laugh in my face and tell me how stupid I was and how pointless it was to try.

I see and hear stories of people being limited by their “friends” and their “family”. What was supposed to be their main support group is now their biggest critics. They tell them to limit their beliefs because what they wanted to do was crazy, it insane or stupid.

It frustrates. People have no right to limit your greatness.

The world is full of opportunities and all we just need the courage to take them. It is scary to look at yourself in the mirror and believe that you can do whatever you want. It is so much easier to belittle yourself into a person that means nothing and can do nothing. It gets easier because we now have an excuse to give up, to give in and to not see the light. While it may be easier it is barely worth it. Trust me I know. It is not starting or failing that we are afraid of but it is the belief in ourselves that we are good enough to even attempt it. To build up enough courage to even think about starting. I want to help people start something amazing in their life.

My question to you is how can I help you live an amazing live. Let me know in the comment section or email me at adam.lofquist@gmail.com

Are You Asking Yourself The Right Questions?

A few days ago I was talking with a new good friend of mine. He is a podcaster and coach who decided to quit his job without any “Plan B” and dive fully into the world of entrepreneurship. He has started to gain some great momentum and is delivering massive value to the planet but he ran into a road block. He is not generating enough revenue to pay back his debts and maintain the quality of life he is striving to create.

He knew my story of leaving a job I hated to work at a dream job, while building my own dream company on the side. He wanted to know how I did it and if I had any recommendations on how he could do it. We dove into the conversation and he told me about an opportunity that sounded fairly interesting to him, but had a great deal of unknowns around it. He would have to change location, time zone, and dive into a totally new area in a totally new country. So I asked him a simple question. “What would you want to do ideally if you had to get a job while building your business on the side?”

He began listing off criteria: location independent, a progressive company, would help him learn skills that would aid him in developing his own company, and so on. I then asked, “What companies that you know of fit this description?” He quickly rattled off 3-4 companies and said how interesting it would be to work at any of those places.

I asked if he had contacted any of them or checked their available job openings and he said he had not. Prior to us speaking he had never even considered the possibility of working for a dream company, a company that totally excited him, and gave him both the funds and freedom to build his business on the side.

I use this example to illustrate a very clear example of the quality of the questions we ask in our lives. Your heart and brain are an incredible problem solving duo. Whatever questions you put in front of them, they will work to solve them as best they can. This works both in the positive and the negative.

“How can I get a job?” May seem like a good question, because the goal is to get a job right? Well if you want ANY job at ANY company with ANY working conditions and ANY work/life balance, your brain will find an answer to that question.

Let’s reframe that same situation and say you asked, “How can I find an amazing job for a dream company that excites me, engages me, and will help me embrace my unique gifts to make a meaningful contribution to this company and the world. A company that challenges me to grow and connects me with incredible people from all over the world. A company that leaves me the freedom to spend time with family, friends and develop a social life outside of my working hours. A company that compensates me in a way that allows me to live how I’ve always dreamt. How can I work for a company like that?”

Guess what, your brain and heart are going to go to work on that question as well and work to find an answer.

What if the answer isn’t readily available? Well lucky for us, we live in the internet age. Time to do some research. Wouldn’t you rather spend 20 minutes, 2 hours, or even a week researching a dream company and a dream role to apply for rather than just defaulting to the jobs you currently know exist that may not connect with the passion in your heart?

So what happened with my friend after our talk? The next day he got back to me and said he checked one of the dream companies and they had a role that was perfect for him and would check more of his boxes for a dream job than he ever thought possible before. All it took was two simple things. A few reframed questions to shift his perspective and him being willing to take action.

I want to ask you, where are you asking questions that scare you, tear you down, or disempower you?

Questions like:

• What’s wrong with me?
• Why am I so stupid?
• Why am I so disconnected with my spouse/significant other?
• Why am I so fat?
• Why do I always mess things up?
• Why can’t I get over my fear of getting to know new people?

With all of these questions your conscious and subconscious minds are going to go out and look for proof for whatever questions you ask. They will go and seek out every shred of evidence to help answer the question you have posed. Let’s see what would happen if you asked the same core questions differently.

Questions reframed (respectively):

• What do I want to improve about myself and how can I get started? 
• Where do I want to grow in my life and learn more and what is one thing I could do today to start that process? 
• How can I connect more deeply with my spouse/significant other? 
• How can I love my body no matter how it looks but also work to get healthier every day? 
• What have I done in the past that I never want to do again? What can I do next time I am faced with that situation to respond in a way that empowers me? 
• How can I start getting over my fear of meeting new people today?

Now imagine your heart and brain going to work on this set of questions. They get excited and engaged to take on exciting problems that empower you to help you become the person you know you are meant to be, the person that already exists inside you that you are working to let out.

Questions are huge. Not only HOW we ask them but WHAT we are asking ourselves makes all the difference. The mindsets we approach life with are so critical in determining how we go through our day to day experience. A positive mindset doesn’t mean that everything is going to be perfect; it just means that when things go wrong, you’ll be able to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back out there making your unique mark on the world.

I will leave you with this, what is one question you can reframe today to empower you to take action and step into your greatness? Reframe it and take that action. Right now. Don’t wait for tomorrow, do it right now and start showing yourself the love you so deeply deserve. Do this and life will quickly look brighter than ever before.

I love you guys, dream big, take action, I promise it’s worth it.

                                                                    

Brian Drury

Founder of Overcoming Graduation LLC

Creator and Host of the Overcoming Graduation Podcast

Author of the #1 Amazon Best Seller, The First Step

P.S. If there is any way I can be of service to you, please feel free to contact me at Brian@OvercomingGraduation.com. If you would like to learn more about participating in my Coaching Program, visit OvercomingGraduation.com/coaching . I love connecting with exciting engaged people from all over the world! 

It Takes Time

The Redwood Tree is one of the tallest and oldest trees in the world.  They reach heights of 350 feet and 24 feet in diameter and with a life-span of 2,000 years¹, chances are they are not going anywhere. What does the Redwood have to do with success? Time.

Success takes time and in a world where instant gratification is gold, time is the enemy. We want to be more productive and efficient getting everything done faster to save us time but what we really need is time.

It is not a lack of solutions to our problems that is an issue, it is the fact that we give so little time for our solutions to work before we give up on them. It is not just our problems but our opportunities as well.

Your success whether it be personal or business related will take time.

Joel Osteen a famous pastor spends hours rehearsing his sermon each week before he steps a foot in front of his congregation. By the time the sermon is televised he has practiced it in front of a live audience two times.²

Mike Reilly The Voice of Ironman reviews the names of each participant four to five times for every race that he does. He reviews the bios as well, and then picks out 10 to highlight. With around 2,500 participants it requires hours of time. It takes him less than a minute to say your name as you cross the finish line but it means a world of difference when he says it right. It is a huge reason that he is so popular and people look forward to hearing him.³

There are many more.

Time is one of the most valuable resources we have. Not just because it is limited but because of the enormous potential it holds. If you have enough time, you can do anything.

Your goals require talent, skill, passion, money and hard work all of which are driven by time. The more time you devote to what you want to do and where you want to go the faster you will get there. Many of us do not lack talent, education, or ability but what we lack is the ability to devote the time to make real progress. We give up way too easily because unlike a Jimmy Johns we cannot be freaky fast, but we can make freaky progress with time.

¹ http://www.livescience.com/39461-sequoias-redwood-trees.html² http://www.forbes.com/sites/carminegallo/2012/01/09/joel-osteen-7-keys-to-successful-public-speaking/#58c6c7676a97 ³ http://www.timesfreepress.com/news/local/story/2014/sep/28/mike-reilly-is-the-voice-of-ironman/268198/

Finding Your Passion

You are in the standing in the ocean, looking at the beach and a giant wave comes behind you and drenches you in ice cold water. You become instantly cold, almost frozen. It is a feeling that you will never forget, it is just like finding your passion.

If you are never in the ocean, you can never get hit by a wave and if you never take action to feel your passion, you will never find it. We cannot just find our passion if we take a seat on the sidelines and wait for it, we need to be out in the ocean.

If you have ever been hit by a wave, it is a feeling that you will never forget and when you find your passion it is a feeling that you will never forget. The problem for many of us is the journey to find our passion because just as powerful as the feeling of finding your passion is, not find your passion is strong as well.

Have you ever lost your keys? You know the saying “They are always the last place you look.” The truth is that even if you found them the first place that you looked, it would still be the last place. It is not that you do not have a passion; it is just that you have not found it yet. Every place you try and find your keys, you become more and more frustrated. It is not long before it all seems hopeless and you begin searching where you first started. This happens to all of us as well when we try to find our passion, it is frustrating and it feels helpless but at the end of the day, you need to find it to take off.

You can tell someone that has passion from a mile away. They just seem more alive, they love life and they have such an intense and yet calming presence that it is impossible to ignore. That is what I want to help you do, I want to help you find your passion and the biggest advice I can give you is to keep looking, even when it seems pointless because you are going to find it.

How to love the life you have, to get the life you want (8 tips to get you there)

We most likely have something we want to improve about ourselves. To be in better shape, make more money, not be so stressed out are just a few. At times the improvements we want to make mount up against us instead of helping us. Growth is a key to success however it needs to be positive growth.

At times in our life, we think about all the things that we want, that we should be and how we are not where we really want to be and it gets us down. We start to devalue ourselves and so begins the slippery slope down the mountain side of self-worth. When you are sliding down, you sure as hell are not worried about how you will get to the top, you are just trying to not crash into the ground.

So what makes some succeed and others fall down the mountainside? It is not drive; we all have that or had it until we killed it in ourselves. The difference is mindset. Here are some ways you can shape your mindset to grow.

1) Be grateful for everything. This includes the good and bad times. Just because you are grateful for a bad time in your life does not mean that you liked it, it simply means that you learned from it.

2) Stop focusing on yourself: The unhappy people I meet are just concerned about themselves. They do not spend much time helping much less thinking about how they can help others. Truly happy people are always looking for ways to help others and make the lives of others better.

3) Stop being so entitled: The world is not out to get you, life is just not fair. The real reason you did not get that job, came in second or you were not admitted to the school you wanted is because someone else did a better job than you did. Entitlement is a self-debilitating disease. The worst part is that it feels so right to feel ripped off and to put the blame for our shortcomings on someone else. When we become entitled we give up our freedom and we lessen our impact on not just our lives but those around us.

4) You are blindly drinking the Kool-Aid: Fit in and be like everyone else and to question nothing in our lives. Go to school, work, have a family, retire and die. It may sound morbid but this is the current definition of a successful life. If you want to go to school, get a job, have family and retire that is fine but at least think about it. Is it really what you want to do or is it what you are told to do. If not do something different and pay no attention to what everyone else tells you.

5) You are not consistent or persistent: We all have dreams. We just get caught up in the daily execution of the small tasks that make up our future. If we want to lose weight we let it slip on day because we have six other days in the week to make up for it. Life is a cumulative event, the more you can do, the more often you can do it, no matter how small, and the better off you will be. Waste no moment.

6) You forget to ask for help: You want to kick some ass and change your life? You want to be a better version of yourself? That is freaking awesome and you can do it. Just remember that you do not need to do it alone. There are plenty of people out there that are more than happy to help you. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of your strength.

7) You lack perspective: Rarely do we think about how great we have it because we think it is better for us to feel sorry for ourselves. We feel that if we feel bad for ourselves and we focus on what we do not have and make ourselves feel like crap about it will somehow motivate us to do more. Learn you’re your experiences; see the bright side and grow.

8) You have no goals to achieve: Goals are crazy and overwhelming. You have two choices you can let that knowledge scare you or you can let it inspire you. The work is going to be the same but it is all a matter of how you approach it. If you want to lose weight that is great but that is not a goal that will help you succeed. Make your goals specific. How much weight do you want to lose, when do you want to lose it by and why do you want to lose it?

Your mindset will triumph your life. If you do not believe that you can achieve something you will never achieve it until you change your mind. The ideas above are not just ideas they are lessons that I have taken from my own life.