Finish but never be finished

I remember completing my first marathon. It was the Cellcom marathon 2011 in Green Bay. When I crossed that finish line it was a great feeling and so painful at the same time, everything hurt. All the hard work, the hours of training and sacrifices had paid off.

Looking back on it now, I wonder what would my life be like if I would have just stopped there? What would my life be like if I limited myself to only doing a marathon and nothing longer? I know I would not be the same person I am today.

It has been the most glorious, difficult and rewarding journey of my life to push past my limits and live with no finish line. The secret is that I am no one special, I am no different than the rest of you. I only accomplished all of this because I decided I wanted to. I have never come close to winning a medal, placing, Kona or Boston and that is okay.

I talk to people who tell me that they will never do anything longer than a marathon and I am confused. I have no idea how 26.2 magnificent miles can be your limit, can be the absolute most you will ever allow yourself to run. This goes beyond running, it comes into every aspect of our life. How many times have you told yourself that you cannot be greater or do more? 

The finish line is just the start line to something even greater. You are unlimited in your potential, it will take work and it will be hard but you are unstoppable. To limit yourself because of your current situation is to limit your future.

Stop waiting for the finish line. You do not become a runner when you complete a marathon, half-marathon, 10K or 5K, you become a runner when you start to run. You become a leader when you start to lead and you become the best version of yourself not when you have accomplished A, B and C but when you accomplish A on your way to B and C.  Take a moment to realize how great you are in this moment. Take a moment to be happy for how far you have come. Take a moment to appreciate the journey and not just the finish line. You will spend your whole life on the journey, learn to appreciate it.

Crossing the finish line, accomplishing a goal or pushing past your limits is an incredible accomplishment. Take time to celebrate it and enjoy it but never be finished. 

You Are Worthy

I sit here trying to think of something to write and all I can think about is that I no longer have anything left. That I can no longer be of service to anyone. The feeling really sucks. It does not make me want to do anything and it feeds into itself. It is a never ending cycle of not believing I have nothing to offer until I take action.

What you are reading right now is the exercise I am taking myself through. Writing down that I have nothing to offer, really made me think and realize that I do have something to offer, I just needed to do take action which is the hard part, it is hard to create something that will improve someone’s life when you do not believe you can.

Fear is used a lot to describe why people will not do something, live beyond their limits and take chances. I used to think that people were very fearful, however now I do not think that is the real reason. Fear may be an output but the input is the fact that so many people believe they are not worthy of living a great life.

What is it the really drives fear? It is the belief that you are not good enough to accomplish what you want or the belief that you will fail because you are not good enough. If we believed that we were good enough and that it was okay to fail imagine how much we would get done.

Here are some ideas that have helped me get through my struggle in believing that I am not worthy.

1) Realize that everyone deals with this shit. Everyone at one time or another has believed they are not worthy. You are not a mistake, a screw up or broken. You are an incredibly amazing human being.

2) The struggle is part of the journey; it is not a road block or the voice telling you to stop.

3) Take one step: At times we get stuck in the belief that we are not good enough and that makes it hard for us to do anything. The key is to get moving and to stop worrying about creating something great, that will come but you have to get started.

4) Do it daily, it will keep you going. I have taken breaks that were supposed to last a day and instead lasted a year.

5) Forgive yourself, we all screw up. It happens, just keep going.

6) Aim for greatness not perfection: Perfection is not a good thing; it is a horrible thing. When you become perfect at something you are no longer growing.

7) Write what you are feeling down, and examine it to make sure it is actually true. It helps to write down what you are thinking because it makes you actually see it on paper.

8) Know that you will always have someone that believes in you, even when you do not believe in yourself, me.

To Anyone Who is Struggling

When the weight of your world, feels like it is on your shoulders and there is no light at the end, remember that there is a light.

There are times in our life where we feel like we should just give up. It may be on a project, job or even our life. In those moments it feels like there is no getting out. We do not believe that we can go any further or take anymore. While it feels like a horrible place to be, it is the place with the most opportunity for growth.

When we struggle, we grow. It is painful and it feels like hell but we grow. We learn what we really want in life. It may not be the whole picture but it gets a little clearer.

To anyone that is struggling. I want you to remember.

You are enough. You are so much more than what you are going through. It is hard to believe that in the moment but you are enough. Think of the last life changing event in your life. Remember how you felt when you first started, in the middle and at the end.  We do not always feel happy at the end but we feel stronger, smarter and like we have grown because of it. Not every struggle is going to leave you with a giant smile on your face but believe this, everyone will make you grow.

Take one step forward. It sounds hard and it is. When the world is crumbling around you and you feel like you cannot move, take one step forward. The only way you are going to get out is to keep moving. There is a light at the end, even if you cannot see it.

You are not alone. Everyone that I have met has struggled. The most successful people I know choose intentionally to embrace the struggle. At the lowest points in our struggle it is easy for us to see all of the great things everyone else is doing but that is just the tip of the iceberg. What we cannot see is the struggle that they had to deal with and are still dealing with below the surface.

We grow the most when we embrace the struggle, not when we run away from it.

Your best is yet to come.

5 Minutes: Coffee and Leadership

Coffee again was the vehicle to change my life. This time it would bring me in front of some of the best leaders in the world.

I was talking my friend Thom Cody about the goals we had for our lives. When he asked me about my goals I told him “I want to change the world.” Little did I know that admitting that, would actually help me change not just the world but my life.

Thom told me about a leadership camp that he was helping run called RYLA. I could tell his passion for the program by the way he talked about it.

RYLA is a youth-led leadership camp that is funded by Rotary. The goal of RYLA is to help participants of any age, embrace their talents and gifts to become the best leader, team member and person they could ever imagine.

Further into our conversation Thom asked me if I wanted to take over RYLA. I was speechless. I did not think I could ever come close to making the program as great as he did. I was confused as to why Thom would ask me when there were so many people that I believed would do such a better job than I ever could. Even with all of that, I said yes, and it changed my life.

Here is what it taught me:

1) Take on challenges you are not ready for: Life always presents us with opportunities that will change our lives and many times we believe that we are not ready for them. We let the list of excuses of why we are not ready drive our life. You only need one reason to say yes, focus on your passion. Your passion will drive you to be successful.

2) Do not underestimate your actions: I used to think that changing the world had to be on a big state I would always get frustrated because I never thought I was doing enough. In my role I work closely with 10-15 facilitators each year. If you look at this from the population of the world it does not seem like a lot and yet to those few people, it makes an impact.
We think of changing the world like a magic trick. That with some action everything in our lives will change and the world will be a better place. People change the world one person at a time.

3) Ask for help: You do not have to figure it all out by yourself. When you ask for help, it is not a sign that you do not care, it is a sign that you do care. You care so much that you are willing to admit that you do not know it all and you put the program, idea or impact ahead of yourself.

4) You are never too old: RYLA targets sophomores and juniors in high school. Every year there are a few brave Rotarians that attend. One of my favorite stories is of a man in his sixties that attended as a participant. He was open, willing to try new things and wanted to gain the most from the experience and because of this RYLA changed his life. It is not our age that determines when we stop living, it is our mindset.

5) Letting go means that you care: It is hard to let go of something that you love. It feels like you are giving up on it. While it may be true at times, letting go can be the biggest sign that you care. I witnessed this first hand when Thom handed off the program to me. He loved the program so much, that he wanted to see it grow. It does not mean that you suck as a leader, it means you realize that everyone has a unique gift they can bring.

6) Be who you be: The irony of it all is that while RYLA Is about embracing your own gifts and yet for the first few years, I tried to be just like Thom. I tried to do things the way he would and I failed at it. I never really felt like I was having an impact until I started leading my way. The world does not need another person you admire, it needs you.

7) Greatness comes from some of the lowest points in your life: I met Thom was that I was looking for a job after I graduated from college and moved back in with my parents. Thom knew my dad and offered to meet with me. If it had not been for that low point in my life, I never would have met Thom and I would not be lucky enough to take on a program that continues to change my life.

One of the greatest things this program has done for me is bring me closer to my friend Ashten. If you have ever met me or worked with me on a project you know that at times I can be all over the place, unorganized and a little crazy. Ashten was my partner in crime in making all of this happen. She has done a lot of the work that gets no glory and I am forever thankful to her for that. RYLA has brought us together not only as leaders but as friends. This is one of the greatest things RYLA has given me.

If you have a story about how five minutes changed your life that you would like to share, email adam.lofquist@gmail.com

Fire. It makes everything new.

This is a guest post by my friend Christian Jensen:

From the moment I started college, I was optimistic for a fresh start.  In High School, my primary focus was on athletics.  I experienced success in football and track and field and had a desire to continue exploring my potential.  Academics on the other hand was an area I certainly did not apply myself.  There was something about the college environment where everything started over and one could build new relationships, set new expectations, develop new habits and build a new future.

So I committed to applying myself in levels I had never done before.  In track and field, I was producing good numbers but knew if I wanted to be the best I would have to work my butt off in training.  I would have to be in the gym, studying film, in the ring more than anyone else.  I was motivated not by the competition of others but with myself.  What is the best I can be?

After 4 years of school at UW Oshkosh, I was certain where my future was heading.  This young kid who once needed a math tutor just to be able to play sports in high school was on the Dean’s list in college.  In track and field, I was a three time All American and National Champion in 2003 in the Discus throw.  I had accomplished my goals.  I became fiercely competitive with myself.  But...something was missing.

In the summer after my fourth year of college, I moved back home with my family in Lake Geneva.  I have so many fond memories of my home life as a young person.  We have a large family and my parents loved to entertain.  Every week, we had family and friends over to swim in the pool, play sports in the yard or just to hang out.  Being that we loved to entertain, my father wanted to make our home the best. We had all the toys!  Trampoline, go-cart, pool table, pinball machine, etc.  We even finished off our basement and basically turned it into an entertainment space for our guests.

One morning, my mother was packing her bags to go for a short road trip.  I was helping her move some items she needed for the trip from our basement to her car.  While outside, loading the vehicle my mother said to me "do you smell that?"  Pausing for a moment to examine the air..."yeah, it smells like smoke."  Mom looked toward the house and yelled "FIRE!"  Out of the front door a thick, dark smoke was pouring out.  I ran in the house to examine the situation while my mom stayed outside and called 911.  The smoke was coming from the basement where we just were.  I ran down the stairs as the smoke was coming up.  When I reached the bottom level, it was much darker and harder to breathe due to the thickness of the smoke.  I could tell the smoke was coming from the part of the basement were we had storage so I opened the door.  What I saw next will forever be burned into my memory.  It was one of those moments when time stood still.  Yellow and orange flames completely engulfed this part of the basement.  The beams holding the main level above the basement, Christmas ornaments, the toys I played with as a kid, clothes we were storing and a stove that we used when we had large parties. What lasted just a few seconds seemed like minutes as I watched these flames erase memories from my past.  In this moment, I knew I would not be able to stop the fire.  But I would do everything I could.  3 fire extinguishers, our garden hose, milk, baking powder, etc.  I was running out of options.  The heat from the fire filled and emanated from the house.  It was so hot that I had to cover myself as the skin on my arms and face were hurting from being inside.  I was getting desperate.  I grabbed a gallon of milk and ran down the stairs in one last attempt to control the flames.  I blindly threw the container in the the fog of smoke as the heat was preventing me from getting any closer or see where I was going.  It was pitch dark.  I could hear our fire alarms going off, the sound of burning wood crackling and my mother calling my name to get out.  I started climbing the stairs back up.  I was getting dizzy from the smoke inhalation and my vision was blacking out.  I knew I couldn't stay any longer.  My mother and I held each other in our front yard as we watch the smoke and flames build and slowly erase our past.

The next day, I woke up in a hotel, took a third shower to try and remove the smoke smell from my hair and threw on some new clothes we bought from Walmart.  Everything in the house was a loss.  If not consumed by the fire, it was damaged by the smoke or fire hoses.  Having breakfast with our family and some friends who came over to support us, I found a letter that came to me from the school of education at UW Oshkosh (UWO).  The education program at UWO was very competitive and difficult to get into.  Although I had a declared major I still had to get into the school of education to complete my degree.  "Thank you for applying for the school of education at UWO.  Although you are a highly qualified candidate, we regret to inform you that your application was denied."  At this moment, I thought to myself..."I'm homeless and I have no idea what my future holds for me"

After all the dealings with the insurance company, we decided to rebuild on the original foundation of our new hope.  Demolition crews came and tore down the remaining structure of the home and the next week the rebuild began.  I felt ownership over being part of the rebuild process.  My father died of cancer when I was 15 and ever since, I felt like I was the "man of the house."  I felt it was my responsibility to look after our family and care for them.  So, that summer I became a "meat head" member of a small construction crew owned by a local family.  Bill, the father and Sam the son took me under their wing to train me.  I mainly did things that were physical in nature and required low skill, hence the "meat head" title.  But, they were always looking to teach me.  I respected the family.  They were men of great faith and values.  After my father died, I had a change of view in my faith and became an atheist.  I couldn't accept that there as a God out there who wanted the best for us but could allow so many bad things happen to good people like my father.  Still, I respected the family because I believed in hard work, achievement and personal growth.  These were the commandments of my own religion!

Over the summer months, I developed a relationship with Bill and Sam.  We talked often about our viewpoints in life, values and beliefs.  One day on our way to get more lumber from Home Depot, Bill pulled the car over in the parking lot, pulled out his King James Bible and shared some of his personal story with me.  The struggles he went through in life with addiction and how he needed God to change his heart.  Bill saw spiritual turmoil inside of me brewing.  He saw himself years ago.  He took 5 minutes to do something that he had no idea how it was going to be received.  Bill invited me to know and accept Jesus Christ into my life.  I am a very strong willed (aka stubborn) individual.  I told Bill I was honored he would share his faith story with me and invite me to join him but I told him I was "fine' with my beliefs. Bill respected my position and said if I ever needed to talk about anything, he would be there.  Above anything else, I was so honored Bill took this time to speak to me from his heart.  It's something so rare in this world and especially rare among men.

After much thought, I decided to make some changes to my college direction.  I felt a desire to work with people on their health and wellness.  I've always had a passion for coaching and helping people reach their potential.  I had a degree in history education but after not being admitted to the school of education, I kept the history part but removed education.  I added exercise science and health promotion as a major and also a minor strength and conditioning.  At this point I was a double major and double minor.  This change meant I was in for the long haul!

I started year 5 of my college career.  At this point, all of the friends I developed had graduated and moving on with life.  I rented an apartment for myself.  I buried myself deeper into my studies than ever before.  I had high credit loads, took on a coaching position at a local school and started to do something I truly hated...running!  See as a discus thrower, you despise anything long and drawn out without a high level of intensity.  Each throw of the discus lasted a few seconds and when you add up the total time of competition in a track meet for a thrower it equals less than a minute.  Why run?  Two reasons. First, I wanted to be fit physically.  Being a retired thrower is kind of like a football lineman.  You either change your health habits and become healthier or you gain weight and become less healthy!  Second, under the surface my heart was unsettled.  I was struggling with the emotions I was asking myself.  "What am I doing with my life?"  "Will I make it?"  "Why am I here?"  "What is my purpose?"  Running gave me a chance to quiet my mind and explore my heart.  I remember my first run.  I didn't have any expensive running shoes.  After the fire, our clothing purchases were focused on essentials.  The first pair of shoes I purchased were white Velcro sneakers.  The kind that your grandfather wears golfing or to workout out in the back yard.  So, one night late after studying I strapped up my Velcro and hit the street.  I picked a 1-mile route.  This is the furthest I'd ever run.  The night was pitch dark in a neighborhood that had no lights, only lots of trees and a ton of rolling hills.  Off I went a little nervous of the long journey ahead! In the darkness, I could barely see the road.  I could feel the air coming in and out of my lungs and I could hear my footsteps and breath rate.  Not long after running I got into a groove where these three sounds seemed to work in sync and my head cleared.  It was an amazing run which took about 15 minutes.  Definitely not a respectable time by any means.  When I finished, my head was clear and my heart was open.  I feel to my knees and wept.  This was the beginning.

While I felt clear and content spiritually during my runs, I found that this clarity opened the way for deeper feelings.  This year of college was the most difficult emotionally.  It was marked with so many moments of clarity but also deeper struggles.  I became very good at hiding my emotions.  On the surface I was a proud, high performing, self-respecting young adult who got exceptional grades, was very physically fit and focused on my path.  Underneath, my heart was dying.  The emotions were stirring.  I was experiencing severe depression which lasted for months and then years.  When someone lives life where their heart is in constant state of hurt, they will find anything, even if it makes them feel better for a short time.  A band aid is a first priority.  For me, food became my band aid.  The chemical release of endorphins you get from eating has been shown to closely mimic drugs, alcohol, exercise and sex.  In secret I used food to fill a void.  I would binge eat massive amounts in secret in my apartment by myself.  I would do this night after night.  I would find myself waking up on the bathroom floor, cheeks crusty from tears with my body and mind paying the toll.  Each day I woke up promising myself I wouldn't do it again.  I took a shower, put on my running shoes and painfully worked out the poison I put in my body and heart.  This lasted for years and only got worse.

Then I met Tiffany.  A girl who worked at a coffee shop who had a heart that I can only describe as "grace".  Being around Tiffany instantly made me feel better.  I became a coffee person just to stalk her at the shop she worked at.  I would go and "study" at the coffee shop during the day only to peek over my books and to have a passing conversation.  Turns out, she was noticing me to and eventually I wrangled up the courage to ask her out!  On our first date, we went to a local park to have a picnic and go for a walk.  We began talking and getting to know each other and the first thing Tiffany asked me was "what's your viewpoint on God?"  I was open about my atheism beliefs.  She respectfully listened to my position but also challenged me.  I could tell she genuinely cared.  Cautiously, Tiffany continued to date me.  Her values told her to be careful as she was very strong about her faith beliefs and wanted to be with someone who shared these beliefs.  But, something told her to continue on.  We had long conversations about God, the universe, good vs. evil and all things spiritual.  I viewed the conversations intriguing while Tiffany was chipping away at my heart.  We dated for a few months and eventually that winter came home to visit my family for Christmas.  On the way home, Tiffany asked me how I was doing with my faith journey.  I told her that I was ready.  My heart was longing more than ever.  I spent many nights crying for help and I no longer wanted a band aid.  I wanted peace, forgiveness, love and a sense of purpose.  Tiffany said "are you ready?"  "Ready for what?" I replied.  Are you ready to accept Jesus as your savior?  Without a moment's hesitation I said "YES!"  "Ok, then pray this prayer out loud."  "Ok, here goes..."  Nothing came out of my mouth.  The instant I tried to speak, my throat swelled, I began to sweat, shake and cry.  I didn't know what to do.  Tiffany was getting worried too!  Eventually, I stopped the car not feeling like I could safely drive.  I pulled off the highway, got out, feel to my needs, looked up at the stars in the sky and cried like I never had before.  Then, I prayed and felt a level of peace I never have before.  For the first time, I felt what true forgiveness and love was.  I had felt Jesus Christ in my heart.

Sometimes we choose our direction in life.  Sometimes the direction chooses us.  It is essential that we intentionally plan how to impact other people's lives but also understand that some of the biggest opportunities are ones that come to us.  Don't be too focused on the road ahead that you miss all the beauty that's around you.  God will put these steps in your path as people, situations and thoughts. Sometimes these are painful situations.  Sometimes they are joyful.  Sometimes they are so clear but most of the time they are subtle.  God will not force you to make this choice.  He will give you glimpses of hope and then an opportunity to step in faith.  Why does he do this?  Because God craves a relationship with us.  A relationship that can only be strong through faith.  In just 5 minutes, God used Tiffany and Bill to challenge my faith.  They listened and acted not because it was easy, but because it was hard.  What opportunities come your way to grow from others?  What opportunities come your way to help others grow?  I pray that you have your ears open to these opportunities and don't pass them by.

Fire. It makes everything new.

If you have a story about how five minutes changed your life that you would like to share, email adam.lofquist@gmail.com

Acceptance is a Two Way Street.

One of our most basic human needs is the need to be accepted.

We have all had a situation in our life (or more) where we did not feel accepted or loved and it sucked.

As much as it sucks for me to feel like I am not accepted, I still have trouble with accepting others at times. It does not make me a bad person but it is an area for me to grow in.

My acceptance problem is not any of the typical topics we think of: I do not care (in a good way) about your religion, sex, sexual orientation, race, gender or anything in the typical format.

My acceptance problem is with the way people think. When I am in a bad place, people that do not meet the expectations that I have set for them, I stop accepting them. I have stopped accepting people because they were not accepting enough. This may sound good, it is not. I do not accept people because they do not meet my level of acceptance, or to put it bluntly, they are not good enough for me. In a world where I want everyone to be accepting, I have failed where we need it the most. I have failed in things that I do not understand with people who could benefit from it the most.

As much as I could rattle everything I believe is wrong with the people I have done this to, the truth is it would not make anyone’s life any better, it would not make the world any better. All that it would do is further divide the gap.

Not everyone is like you and yes that is a good thing.

People from a small town may not see a lot of diversity, they are not filled with hate, they are experiencing something new. They do not understand it, not because they do not want to or because they are stupid but because they have no reference to understand it from. They spent their whole life, living a life they thought was normal and now there is a different way of life.

People that grew up in a city, are most likely used to diversity. When they get upset because everyone is the same race or religion, it is because it is not what they are used to.

What is normal to us, may be completely absurd to someone else and that is okay.

It is easy to accept those that you agree with, those that you see eye to eye with. The problem is that this creates a clique, where everyone that does not agree with you is not accepted, which is pretty funny if you think about it.

See people for their potential, not for everything that is wrong with them. If we focus on the negative, we will get more negative and it is a losing battle. Look inside yourself before judging others. What is it about the situation that frustrates you? Could the have a backstory you know nothing about? Real acceptance is when you can accept people completely, even with things that you do not understand or agree with.

It is easy to be mad at the people we do not agree with. They just do not seem to get it. True acceptance begins not with us accepting those we do not agree with and seeing that they are human too.

The 3:00 A.M Wake Up Call for My Life

The first time I got up at that hour (on purpose) it changed my life.

To make a long story short, I needed people to run with and no one I knew was running my distance. I asked around and my friend Josh Pierce told me his friends Brian Gruender and Sam Benjamin were running at 4:00 a.m.

I have no idea why I said yes, it just felt right.

This decision was a literal wake up call for my life.

At the time Brian, Josh and Sam all served on the board for the Snowdrop Foundation of Wisconsin. This amazing organization helps fund pediatric cancer research and provides scholarships for pediatric cancer survivors. The people they serve are inspiring to say the least.

Here are a few of my biggest lessons because of that run:

1. Brian, Josh and Sam have all completed 100 mile runs. The best part, the runs are not just about them. They are in honor or in memory of pediatric cancer patients. I was reminded that I can still kick ass, have fun and push my limits while helping other people. In fact this is one of my biggest motivations to push my limits. I am inspired by the people that I have the privilege to run for. They keep me going.
   
2. This organization has shown me the best of the human spirit. People that have cancer are incredible. They are not angry or bitter at anyone, they may be angry at the situation but their love for people is beyond words. Their ability to find joy in the worst situations is inspiring. I think about all the things I let ruin my day and I am humbled by the kids and their families that are dealing with cancer, have dealt with cancer or have lost a loved one because of cancer. The ones that lost a loved when have taken their anger and hurt and turned it into finding a cure and helping other families that are fighting.
   
3. This run started my fire for endurance events. When I am asked why I do  endurance events, my response is usually “I want to” or “why not” and while it may sound like I am being short what I mean is that if I want to go do something so I am going to go do it. The worst thing that happens is that I fail. We are filled with limitless potential.
   
4. The pain that pediatric cancer patients and their families got through, grounds me. It helps me see the bigger picture. My pain is temporary and minor compared to what they go through. It is because of that mindset that I embrace pain. The best part of embracing pain is not the pain itself but the growth that occurs because of it. Pain is you pushing past your current limits.
   
5. There is magic in an early morning run. You are in the dark with people that you need to trust. You build a bond and the hours seem to fly by, I actually looked forward to the early morning runs. The conversations ranged from some really stupid things to conversations that were personal, meaningful and profound. Many times we tell ourselves that we cannot have both, we cannot be funny and serious. The truth is that you need to have both if you want to get a point across. 

Here is the kicker. I never would have gone on the run if not for my friendship with Josh. I met Josh through my friend Christian. I met Christian over a cup of coffee and that coffee changed my life. You can read about that here. The smallest moments in our life, create the biggest impact.

Do you have a story of how a small moment changed your life? I would love to hear it and share it on my blog. Please email me and share it with me.

There is No One Tip for Success

According to IBISWorld, the fitness industry is a $30 billion industry that employs over 642,000 people¹. A simple Google search of “How to get fit” had over 92 million search results.

Take a look for workouts to lose weight, gain muscle, or get in better shape. There are millions of them out there. If you look at Men’s Fitness there will always be a new workout regimen to get a ripped body. The kicker, there are people that get results and people that fail miserably.

The problem is not too many workouts or gyms but it is that we assume any workout will work for us.  If there was only one way, how the hell can so many gyms exist?

We apply this same illogical thinking to success. Constantly there is a new study that has the one key attribute to a successful life. We study the habits of the extremely successful. What are their morning rituals, what do they eat, when do they get up and what kind of leader are they? Just to name a few. Just because you get up at 4:00 AM does not make you successful. Simply sleeping on the floor of your office and working countless hours will not make you successful as well.

The problem is that we buy into these ideas without thinking about ourselves first. We focus too much on just being successful with defining what it means to us. As an example think of planning a trip to New York with no map, compass, GPS or guidance of any kind. In fact you have no idea where you are even departing from. You may not even have a car or a plane ticket and better yet we may not even want to go to New York, we only chose New York because that is the “popular” place. If you never wanted to go to New York in the first place, you will most likely not be too excited when you get there just as when you do not clearly define what success looks like for yourself.

Here are some tips to reach your own success.

Define Success: If you do not know where you want to go, how will you know when you have arrived? There is no singular definition of success. In fact there is at least one definition of success for every person on this earth.  In order to truly reach success you need to know what success means to you.

Stop worrying about what others are doing: It is rare that you will find someone that has a close definition of success like you do, so stop worrying about how everyone else defines success. Even if you do have someone that has the exact same idea of success, your paths will be different, do what works for you.

Keep at it: You have a higher chance of being successful, the less often you give up.

Life is not a race, stop worrying about who is on the course: I hate to ruin the ending but in the end we all die. No tombstone has “He was better than BLANK” or “She beat BLANK”, stop worrying about everyone around you and focus on yourself.

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Four Words that Will Change Your Life

“How can I help?” will get your further than you could have ever imagined.

There will be people that will take advantage of you, help anyway. Never let negative people stop you from doing something incredible. Invest and believe in the best.

How will it change your life?

What you put out into the world is what you attract. When you are willing to help others, amazing things start to happen.

It will build your own self-worth. Your life is not just about what you can do for yourself it is also about how you can help others. When you take time to look beyond yourself and help someone you realize how much of an impact you can have on the world and prove that you matter.

It feels amazing. It just feels good to help other people in your life.

You never know how one small act can change your life or the lives of those around you. The world is filled with enough negative propaganda already. We hear too much about all the bad and not enough about the good. It is easy to get depressed because of this. Inspire someone by helping them.

You will lose nothing; we are far too concerned in what we will lose by helping people. The truth is that even if the person you help uses you, you will still come out ahead. You will learn, grow and prosper because of it.

Here are seven tips to make the most out of those four words.

1. You cannot make anyone successful and it has nothing to do with your talent or how hard you try. Success lies with the person that is trying to achieve it and it is a hands-on experience. Do not drive the car for them, give them directions.
2. You cannot help everyone at the same time. Think of it as an elevator. You can cram as many people as you want into an elevator but at some point it will not close, move or it may get stuck. Keep room open.
3. Help people that fill you up and make you happy. Do not spend time with those people that piss you off or make you mad.
4. Do not help out of guilt or shame. These are powerful emotions and if you are doing it just because you feel like you have to, your advice will be worthless.
5. Do good and expect nothing in return. Life does not keep score. I know some of the nicest people that have been through the toughest times and there are people out there meaner than anything you could imagine, that have it all. The point is to stop expecting something in return because that is when you will get nothing and you deserve nothing.
6. Help people but make time for yourself. You do not have to be Mother Teresa. The best way to help other people is to figure out what you want out of your life first.
7. Ask for help yourself, this one was huge for me to get over. I thought that when I asked for help I was letting people down but in reality I was connecting with people and I was showing them that I was smarter than trying to do it on my own. 

Six Tips to Make the Most Out of Advice

Advice, criticism, feedback or whatever you call it is one of the biggest opportunities for us to grow, yet we do not take advantage of it often enough. Here are six tips to make the most of the advice you receive.

1. Do not take it personally: This is hard to do and it is the extremely important. The advice, feedback and criticism can be hard to take at times. We are being told that we can improve which for many of us comes off as us being inadequate and not enough. Acknowledge these feelings but do not dwell on them. These people are not trying to make you feel bad they are trying to help you. Figure out how you can use the advice that you have been given.
   
2. Stop seeing it as a negative: Everyone can improve, no matter how successful they are. There is no end to improving. Instead of seeing it as a place where you are inadequate see it as an opportunity to grow and become even better.
   
3. Take immediate action: Change is hard and it only gets harder the more you put it off. There will always be another “tomorrow”. Taking immediate action will start you on the path to becoming the best version of yourself. It sounds scary but it is one step. You do not have to know every step. You just need the courage to take the first step and your destination in mind.
   
4. Take at least one step every day. Success is not stationary, it moves. If you have ever tried to climb up an escalator that is going down you know what success is. If you take it step by step, you will eventually get to the top but if you just stand there, you are going to keep going lower and lower and you will then have that much more ground to cover. Success is attainable but it requires movement and the more you do the better off you are
   
5. Ask for advice before it is given to you: Be proactive in your pursuit of being even more kick ass. Focus on how you can get even better. Take control of your future.
   
6. Be grateful for the people that give you advice: In one of my first jobs out of college, I had managers that would not give me feedback no matter how much I asked for it. It sucked. In other jobs I had managers that gave me advice even when I did not ask for it. If I had to make a choice I would choose getting advice. When someone gives you advice and truly means it, it is one of the biggest compliments that you can ever receive. They are investing their valuable time in you. What is better proof of how worthy you are and how valuable you are than someone taking time out of their day to help you become even more kick ass?

Why

I started this blog for a few reasons. First I want to help people from regretting what they did not do. I do not want anyone to ever to be on their death bed and utter the words, I wish I would have. I also want people to know that no matter what they will always have someone in their corner cheering them on to kick ass, live life to the fullest and experience everything that life has to offer.

The biggest mistake we make is that we never actually live. We put limits on ourselves. We do not have the time. We are not good enough. We could never become as great as we want to be. We believe the lies. You will never be completely ready, you are going to fail and it will hurt but it is worth it. Call me stupid (you wouldn’t be the first) but I would much rather try something once, realize I hate it than to never have tried it.

You can make up for what you did do but you cannot make up for what you did not do.

I want to put the fire back in people that society put out. I have witnessed the awesome power that comes when a fire is lit and the devastating effects when a fire is put out. As bad as society can be, there are people out there that will help keep your fire going. I know because everyone in my life has been there for me and I want to be there for you.

I have never had someone in my life that has told me to stop dreaming or to limit my dreams. I never have once have told someone my dream and my next big idea and have them laugh in my face and tell me how stupid I was and how pointless it was to try.

I see and hear stories of people being limited by their “friends” and their “family”. What was supposed to be their main support group is now their biggest critics. They tell them to limit their beliefs because what they wanted to do was crazy, it insane or stupid.

It frustrates. People have no right to limit your greatness.

The world is full of opportunities and all we just need the courage to take them. It is scary to look at yourself in the mirror and believe that you can do whatever you want. It is so much easier to belittle yourself into a person that means nothing and can do nothing. It gets easier because we now have an excuse to give up, to give in and to not see the light. While it may be easier it is barely worth it. Trust me I know. It is not starting or failing that we are afraid of but it is the belief in ourselves that we are good enough to even attempt it. To build up enough courage to even think about starting. I want to help people start something amazing in their life.

My question to you is how can I help you live an amazing live. Let me know in the comment section or email me at adam.lofquist@gmail.com

It Takes Time

The Redwood Tree is one of the tallest and oldest trees in the world.  They reach heights of 350 feet and 24 feet in diameter and with a life-span of 2,000 years¹, chances are they are not going anywhere. What does the Redwood have to do with success? Time.

Success takes time and in a world where instant gratification is gold, time is the enemy. We want to be more productive and efficient getting everything done faster to save us time but what we really need is time.

It is not a lack of solutions to our problems that is an issue, it is the fact that we give so little time for our solutions to work before we give up on them. It is not just our problems but our opportunities as well.

Your success whether it be personal or business related will take time.

Joel Osteen a famous pastor spends hours rehearsing his sermon each week before he steps a foot in front of his congregation. By the time the sermon is televised he has practiced it in front of a live audience two times.²

Mike Reilly The Voice of Ironman reviews the names of each participant four to five times for every race that he does. He reviews the bios as well, and then picks out 10 to highlight. With around 2,500 participants it requires hours of time. It takes him less than a minute to say your name as you cross the finish line but it means a world of difference when he says it right. It is a huge reason that he is so popular and people look forward to hearing him.³

There are many more.

Time is one of the most valuable resources we have. Not just because it is limited but because of the enormous potential it holds. If you have enough time, you can do anything.

Your goals require talent, skill, passion, money and hard work all of which are driven by time. The more time you devote to what you want to do and where you want to go the faster you will get there. Many of us do not lack talent, education, or ability but what we lack is the ability to devote the time to make real progress. We give up way too easily because unlike a Jimmy Johns we cannot be freaky fast, but we can make freaky progress with time.

¹ http://www.livescience.com/39461-sequoias-redwood-trees.html² http://www.forbes.com/sites/carminegallo/2012/01/09/joel-osteen-7-keys-to-successful-public-speaking/#58c6c7676a97 ³ http://www.timesfreepress.com/news/local/story/2014/sep/28/mike-reilly-is-the-voice-of-ironman/268198/

How to love the life you have, to get the life you want (8 tips to get you there)

We most likely have something we want to improve about ourselves. To be in better shape, make more money, not be so stressed out are just a few. At times the improvements we want to make mount up against us instead of helping us. Growth is a key to success however it needs to be positive growth.

At times in our life, we think about all the things that we want, that we should be and how we are not where we really want to be and it gets us down. We start to devalue ourselves and so begins the slippery slope down the mountain side of self-worth. When you are sliding down, you sure as hell are not worried about how you will get to the top, you are just trying to not crash into the ground.

So what makes some succeed and others fall down the mountainside? It is not drive; we all have that or had it until we killed it in ourselves. The difference is mindset. Here are some ways you can shape your mindset to grow.

1) Be grateful for everything. This includes the good and bad times. Just because you are grateful for a bad time in your life does not mean that you liked it, it simply means that you learned from it.

2) Stop focusing on yourself: The unhappy people I meet are just concerned about themselves. They do not spend much time helping much less thinking about how they can help others. Truly happy people are always looking for ways to help others and make the lives of others better.

3) Stop being so entitled: The world is not out to get you, life is just not fair. The real reason you did not get that job, came in second or you were not admitted to the school you wanted is because someone else did a better job than you did. Entitlement is a self-debilitating disease. The worst part is that it feels so right to feel ripped off and to put the blame for our shortcomings on someone else. When we become entitled we give up our freedom and we lessen our impact on not just our lives but those around us.

4) You are blindly drinking the Kool-Aid: Fit in and be like everyone else and to question nothing in our lives. Go to school, work, have a family, retire and die. It may sound morbid but this is the current definition of a successful life. If you want to go to school, get a job, have family and retire that is fine but at least think about it. Is it really what you want to do or is it what you are told to do. If not do something different and pay no attention to what everyone else tells you.

5) You are not consistent or persistent: We all have dreams. We just get caught up in the daily execution of the small tasks that make up our future. If we want to lose weight we let it slip on day because we have six other days in the week to make up for it. Life is a cumulative event, the more you can do, the more often you can do it, no matter how small, and the better off you will be. Waste no moment.

6) You forget to ask for help: You want to kick some ass and change your life? You want to be a better version of yourself? That is freaking awesome and you can do it. Just remember that you do not need to do it alone. There are plenty of people out there that are more than happy to help you. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of your strength.

7) You lack perspective: Rarely do we think about how great we have it because we think it is better for us to feel sorry for ourselves. We feel that if we feel bad for ourselves and we focus on what we do not have and make ourselves feel like crap about it will somehow motivate us to do more. Learn you’re your experiences; see the bright side and grow.

8) You have no goals to achieve: Goals are crazy and overwhelming. You have two choices you can let that knowledge scare you or you can let it inspire you. The work is going to be the same but it is all a matter of how you approach it. If you want to lose weight that is great but that is not a goal that will help you succeed. Make your goals specific. How much weight do you want to lose, when do you want to lose it by and why do you want to lose it?

Your mindset will triumph your life. If you do not believe that you can achieve something you will never achieve it until you change your mind. The ideas above are not just ideas they are lessons that I have taken from my own life. 

Moments of Success

Most of us see success as the aftermath of an avalanche. We see the impact.

An avalanche is caused by different densities of snow building up, until the weight is too great causing a collapse and an avalanche.

Coming towards you an avalanche is a massive and powerful force that is made up of billions of snowflakes.

A snowflake by itself is nothing, it is harmless. Have you ever watched a snow flake fall the sky only to melt when it hits the ground? Snowflakes are the actions that we take. Some will melt on the ground while others will help us build an avalanche.

A snow flake is made up of ice crystals, something you cannot see without a microscope. Ice crystals are your thoughts and you beliefs. While you cannot see them unless you take a deep look inside yourself, they ultimately determine your actions that cause an avalanche.

Your old beliefs and actions and your new beliefs and actions are at odds with one another. 

You may have started with a weak base, as you start to build better habits, thoughts and actions, eventually they will overpower your weak base, just like the snow in an avalanche. So when it feels like the pressure is mounting, things are changing just remember you are about to take off.

I want to share with you two moments in my life that seemed insignificant at the time but ended up making a huge difference.

In college, I worked for the Union Marketing Department. One day I received a call from a parent that had sent her child a care package but he had yet to receive it. She had called numerous departments, had been bounced around and somehow she had ended up calling our office. Needless to say she was frustrated, upset and sad not just about the service but because her son never received her care package. I had two options. I could send her to another department and make them figure it out or I could work with her on it. I chose the latter. I cannot remember how long it took me to figure it all out but it was not long. I got her in contact with the right people, to make everything better. It was because of this one choice that her son was able to receive the care package that she had sent. The mother was so impressed with me going above and beyond (less than 30 minutes) that she wrote an email to my boss and told her how much she appreciated me helping her. In just 30 minutes I was able to make a women’s day become better, for one of the most important things in her life, her son.

A cup of coffee can change your life. One day, I told my friend that I wanted to help change the lives of youth which led to a cup of coffee that changed my life. He told me about a program he was in charge of called Rotary Youth Leadership Awards (RYLA). He told me about the impact and how it changes lives, not just of those that attend but those that interact with attendees after they attend RYLA. In that moment I agreed to take over the program, not having a clue about anything. RYLA is one of the most significant parts of my life, it has changed my life. I have met so many wonderful, amazing and inspiring people who are changing the world right now. I never would have been able to experience this if it were not for a cup of coffee.

These are just two example of what happens when you make the most of a moment. How small moments that seem insignificant at the time can change your life or the change the lives of your friends, family, or someone you do not even know. These stories are not meant to brag about what I have done. The truth is that you could be in these stories if you chose to be. It is all about your choice. Every moment you have a choice. Will you half ass it or will you use all your ass? This is the one time that it is not just ok but great to be a big, giant ass.

Doing what you love, will get you nothing

During lunch with a friend who is an entrepreneur we talked about the concept of “doing what you love”. As a successful entrepreneur he had a lot of insight of why this concept is flawed.

No entrepreneur starts their own business to deal with the book keeping, logistics and filing for taxes. They start a business because they are obsessed about something it can be a product, idea, service or making themselves better. Yet to get to where they want to be, to grow and to thrive, they need to do the shit that they hate for at least a little while. In fact they need at times they need to stop doing what they love, to do what they hate.

Entrepreneur or not, at some point in your life and hopefully many points in your life you will face this challenge.

How many times in your life have you had an amazing idea of what you want to do or who you want to become? It is exciting but then it hits you, all the work and pain that would come with getting there. Your dream becomes a nightmare. If you cannot love every minute of it then it must not be right.

This is a struggle I have with getting in better shape. I am at a healthy weight but I could be at a healthier weight. I know the steps that I need to take in order to become healthier, stop eating so much and eat better food and yet I still struggle with it because I simply am not willing to do the work. In fact I am choosing what I love to do, eat food (bad food specifically), over what will make me stronger and healthier. I am choosing the short-term reward over the long-term goal.

The solution is to be driven by what you love, be so driven that you are willing to do anything and everything that needs to be done.

Take this back to your life, what is something that you have always wanted to doubt getting there has stopped you before. Decide and commit to doing it now.

Focus on what you want, what it means to you and why it is important to you. Be driven by what you love and stop doing what you love.

B.E.T.T.E.R.

As someone who is constantly looking to ways to improve, grow and learn, one word that describes all of that, is better. In life we have a choice I every situation, we can choose to become better or we can choose to shrink. Running is the perfect example. When you run you have a many options on the distance you would want to race, some people stick to a certain distance and improve upon that distance, others focus on going a further distance. The benefits of both could be argued as well as the cons but the point of it all is that you constantly get better.

Here are some tips to become BETTER everyday

Begin: The most important step to become better. Begin, start and keep going. Stop worrying about what you are doing wrong, what you do not know and how far you have to go, act, begin and create. This is a step that stops most of us because we believe that we need to be at a certain level to start but it is only by our action, that we will grow.

Education: Now that you started, learn even more. What can you improve upon, everything. You are enough but you can always be better.. Learn more to help you go further and be more impactful.

Think: Do not believe anything you are told. Do not question to prove someone else wrong, because that is not the point. Question what you are told to grow, to become better. Create your own beliefs that will drive you.

Train: Do not remain stagnant keep training and practicing. Be trained by others as it will give you new ideas to think about and train others because it will help you create a clear and concise message and process. This is the difference between starting to run, and getting ready for a marathon. You need to train.

Evaluate: Take time to see how you are doing, how far you have come and all that you have accomplished. Is it still the direction that you want to head in? What do you want to change? What went right and what went wrong. Do not just set your life on auto-pilot and cruise, take control of the wheel.

Readjust: Once you know what you want to change, how you want to improve, start doing it, continue the cycle and become BETTER 

Passion and Skills

Passion and Skills are not on opposite sides of the equation, they are multipliers of one another.

When you are truly passionate about something you will stop at nothing to do more about it, to grow with it and to learn more about it. Your hunger for your passion fuels the need to develop more skills/do more work.

The more you work at something, the better you become, the more you will like it and your passion will grow.

As an example, I hated swimming but I love triathlons, I have a passion for the full-distance triathlon.  The more I worked on swimming the more I actually liked it because I could see improvement in my swimming, my passion for triathlons grew even more. Looking at the bigger picture I have a passion for how much both swimming and triathlons taught me, how much it made me grow as a person and how it changed my outlook on life.

We get passion wrong, we focus too much on things or ideas. We want to be passionate about leadership, education, poverty or fill in the blank and we end up spending our whole lives trying to find our passion as if it has to be limited to one idea.

When was the last time you had passion for yourself; a passion to see yourself grow, to challenge yourself to become a better version of yourself today than you were yesterday? Have you ever had a passion to improve your process, to learn more, just to improve? This passion is what will get you further than anything else. If you have passion to be the best, you can excel at anything.

When we try to find passion we become lost and discouraged. We have a nagging voice in the back of our head, asking us if this is really the right thing for us. What if we started to we decided to be passionate about everything that we did. If instead of looking for passion we were open to passion coming to us, when we worked our ass off. Attract your passion, do not try and find it. I know some of you think you cannot be passionate about everything you do, you are wrong, you can. The problem real problem is you have too many things going on in your life.

The problem with the way we work, is how we view work. We separate the work that directly relates to our passion to all the other work that we have to do. Everything that you do, every act that you preform, can help you become better at what you are passionate about, especially when you focus on become passionate about yourself. When you have passion, it rarely feels like work, not because it is not work but because you focus on the passion. If we are passionate about getting better, work will no longer seem like work.

Passion and work are like building a log cabin. You build on top of one another not against them. Start Building.

How to Win

I have completed two Ironman distance triathlons, Wisconsin in 15:39 and Boulder in 12:35. At the surface it would be easy to say that Boulder is the one I should be the most proud of.

Ironman Wisconsin means more to me, than any other race I have done this far, it changed my life. I raced with two amazing individuals, Aaron Hunnel and Katie Neuman. Aaron and I had the amazing privilege of racing with Katie who has cerebral palsy.

Ironman Wisconsin changed my mindset on what it truly means to win.

Winning versus the want to win. I used to play video games against myself just so I could win. It never required me to be better. Everyone loves to win, not as many love, wanting to win. What I mean by that is, the people that truly have the desire to win, practice as much as they can, they put in the work, the long hours and have the drive to be the best because they know that winning is an outcome. This is where we as a society have it wrong. We want an absolute, did you win or did you lose because this is hard data, that lets us judge where you stand. We do not spend enough time focusing on the path that was taken to get there and this goes beyond athletics and into your personally and professional life as well. Stop measuring the wins you have and start to build up your want to win, you will get further faster.

Trophies, medals and titles are all meant to tell the world how great you are and beg for others to give you their approval. Why is it important to win, why is it important to prove that you are the best and better than everyone else? Stop competing against the world and start competing against yourself. When you let the world determine your value, you have no value.

Winning is typically a single quantitative outcome. We focus on getting the trophy so much that we forget what else we can learn on race day. The pain that we experience and the attitude we must embrace to overcome it, will get you further in life than a trophy ever will. Having the opportunity to compete and being a part of the race is an incredible feeling. When we just focus on the win, we miss all of the other lessons that life has to teach us both during a race and in life. I have no argument against wanting to be the best and dominate but do not forget to learn along the way.

Investing in your future

If you only invest from the age of 20-30, you would have a bigger retirement than if you invest from 30-70. This is the magic of compounding interest.  It is pretty amazing but the great fact is that it goes beyond your investing for your financial future and it can be applied to everything you do in life.

When you save for your retirement, you do not want to put it off this same rule applies to reaching your goals. Stop putting off action to reach them and start today.

It is hard to start investing for many people because there never seems to be enough money. How can a 100 dollars a month do anything for us? This is the same way we see our own future. How can a spare 15 minutes help us achieve our dreams? We would need a day, a week or a month to truly make a difference. If you are alive and breathing, you know that blocking off a month to just focus on what you want to do is near impossible. If you want to do it, you can find a way but that is a different story.

Consider this. If you invest just 15 minutes a day in a year’s time you would have over 90 hours in towards reaching your goal. Just like investing in your retirement, it is not so much how much you invest but the fact that you invest something. You need to make an effort to do it.

If you invest consistently, you will get a greater return on your investment. Consider the example before. If you just invest 15 minutes every other day, you would only have 45 hours invested. You would be half as close to your goal.

Make it a priority to not only invest in your retirement but to invest in reaching your goals. Everyone has things that come up and something that goes wrong. At the end of the day, the choice lies with you. Will you invest or will you not. Your circumstances are not an excuse.

Every month, I have money drawn from my paycheck to be invested into my retirement. I never see it so I never miss it. Apply this lesson to reaching your goals by making it a habit. Always set time aside to focus on reaching your goal.

In every investment, you get something in return. It may not be the return that you want but you will always get something back. If you invested in Google, Coca-Cola and Enron, you would have dramatically different outcomes in pure financial terms but you would still gain something from all of them. When you invested in Google, you found something that worked well and out-performed; Coca-Cola was stable and returned expected results, nothing crazy. Enron, you learned what not to invest in. Not necessarily what industry to not invest in but what to watch out for in investing. This is like your life and how you choose to invest your time. We worry about making the best choice, when all we have to do is make a choice. If you did not invest any money with any of the organizations you would still have your money but you lost all the potential to grow.

The One Question to Change Your Life

In a busy world it is easy to get lost and lose track of what is really important to you.

I do not believe that people are not hard workers, don’t’ have dreams and want to settle, it is easier now than ever to be stuck and not know where to go.

Some books want you to think if it feels right, if it makes you happy or whatever you want to put in there. Why that is all good, it is hard to get to sometimes. Emotions have a funny way of taking control of our life.

My solution is to ask yourself, as often as you can “Is this helping me get towards my goal?” Whatever you do, should be helping you reach one of your goals. Stop letting what does not matter; the trivial things in life get to you and keep you down.

Let’s make one thing clear. Goals are up to you. Your goals do not have to do anything with money, work or your future but just be ready to accept the consequences. That goes for both people who are focused on just the present and those that are focused in the long-term.

When life throws 10,000 things at you, ask yourself, what will help me get towards my goals?