How to love the life you have, to get the life you want (8 tips to get you there)

We most likely have something we want to improve about ourselves. To be in better shape, make more money, not be so stressed out are just a few. At times the improvements we want to make mount up against us instead of helping us. Growth is a key to success however it needs to be positive growth.

At times in our life, we think about all the things that we want, that we should be and how we are not where we really want to be and it gets us down. We start to devalue ourselves and so begins the slippery slope down the mountain side of self-worth. When you are sliding down, you sure as hell are not worried about how you will get to the top, you are just trying to not crash into the ground.

So what makes some succeed and others fall down the mountainside? It is not drive; we all have that or had it until we killed it in ourselves. The difference is mindset. Here are some ways you can shape your mindset to grow.

1) Be grateful for everything. This includes the good and bad times. Just because you are grateful for a bad time in your life does not mean that you liked it, it simply means that you learned from it.

2) Stop focusing on yourself: The unhappy people I meet are just concerned about themselves. They do not spend much time helping much less thinking about how they can help others. Truly happy people are always looking for ways to help others and make the lives of others better.

3) Stop being so entitled: The world is not out to get you, life is just not fair. The real reason you did not get that job, came in second or you were not admitted to the school you wanted is because someone else did a better job than you did. Entitlement is a self-debilitating disease. The worst part is that it feels so right to feel ripped off and to put the blame for our shortcomings on someone else. When we become entitled we give up our freedom and we lessen our impact on not just our lives but those around us.

4) You are blindly drinking the Kool-Aid: Fit in and be like everyone else and to question nothing in our lives. Go to school, work, have a family, retire and die. It may sound morbid but this is the current definition of a successful life. If you want to go to school, get a job, have family and retire that is fine but at least think about it. Is it really what you want to do or is it what you are told to do. If not do something different and pay no attention to what everyone else tells you.

5) You are not consistent or persistent: We all have dreams. We just get caught up in the daily execution of the small tasks that make up our future. If we want to lose weight we let it slip on day because we have six other days in the week to make up for it. Life is a cumulative event, the more you can do, the more often you can do it, no matter how small, and the better off you will be. Waste no moment.

6) You forget to ask for help: You want to kick some ass and change your life? You want to be a better version of yourself? That is freaking awesome and you can do it. Just remember that you do not need to do it alone. There are plenty of people out there that are more than happy to help you. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of your strength.

7) You lack perspective: Rarely do we think about how great we have it because we think it is better for us to feel sorry for ourselves. We feel that if we feel bad for ourselves and we focus on what we do not have and make ourselves feel like crap about it will somehow motivate us to do more. Learn you’re your experiences; see the bright side and grow.

8) You have no goals to achieve: Goals are crazy and overwhelming. You have two choices you can let that knowledge scare you or you can let it inspire you. The work is going to be the same but it is all a matter of how you approach it. If you want to lose weight that is great but that is not a goal that will help you succeed. Make your goals specific. How much weight do you want to lose, when do you want to lose it by and why do you want to lose it?

Your mindset will triumph your life. If you do not believe that you can achieve something you will never achieve it until you change your mind. The ideas above are not just ideas they are lessons that I have taken from my own life. 

Never Again

At the age of 18 Tony Robbins promised himself that he would never have another bad day.

It may sound like a stupid idea annoying positive people but it’s not.

It is a belief that will change your life, if you truly believe in it and most importantly if you truly live it. It is about taking control of your life.

When you commit to never have another bad day, it does not mean you do not believe bad things will happen, or that you will not face adversity. What it means is that you will choose to be in control of how you view your life, how you act and what you see. Commit to never having another bad day and start to take accountability for yourself. Take accountability for your happiness, your beliefs and your success. Stop waiting on others.

I made the decision to no longer have any more bad days in my life. I made this decision on Monday, April 4, 2016. The morning of April 6, 2016, I slept past my alarm, got up late, had to deal with traffic and was in a bad mode for many of reasons, all of which do not matter. When you choose to no longer have another bad day, it does not mean it will be perfect or that you will be perfect. What it means is that you will always look to the bright side, pull yourself back up and make the most of your day. It means not giving up and giving in when it starts to hurt.

When I made the decision to never have another bad day, I surprisingly did not feel trapped by the burden of having to find the best in every day. I felt free and I felt in control. We believe that the more we take accountability for our lives, the more we are chained and the more of a burden we have. In reality, when we decide to take control, while it may be harder it is breaking the chains away. It is giving you unlimited potential.

Being pissed off gets you nowhere. Going back to April 6, I got pissed off at traffic on my way to work. Surprisingly all my anger and my frustration did nothing to improve the traffic situation, in fact it made it worse for me. While getting mad and being pissed off may be a spark to set you on your path to glory, the impact occurs when you decide to take action, when you decide to be in control of your life.

Some of you are telling yourselves right now “That is Tony Robbins that is not me, I can never do that” do not believe the lies. Tell that voice in your head to take a hike because you can be as amazing as you want to be, if you choose to be. It may not be easy but it is worth it.

Weather the Storm of Life

The last few days in Minneapolis have been freezing. The highs have been around zero. It is the type of cold where you only go out when you have to, Cars won’t start, and life ceases to exist.

Often in life you will find yourself in these situations. Not the cold but where you feel so hopeless that going on seems pointless and that your life seems like it does not matter. You ask yourself how much more can I take, and then more comes. Much like a cold day, breathing hurts and you can barely catch a breath. You feel like you are fading away. Every breath that you take does not help you but suffocates you. Life seems pointless and endless.

Today there was a heat wave; it got up to 20 degrees. It was incredible.  Now 20 degrees is not that warm, but compared to zero it is tropical.

How amazing would it be if we never had to live through those days, the ones where it seemed harder to keep going than to give up?

Just like today feeling tropical because of the past few days, if there were no dark days in our life, we would never truly appreciate the light at its dimmest moments. We would have no idea what a great day felt like.

Imagine if you lived in a place where it was always 65 and sunny. Would you ever get tired of it? How long would it take you to take the day for granted? The mere fact that you would want to live in this weather, is highly affected by your experience of worse weather. You have had to deal with the cold, the rain, snow, sever weather, clouds and all of the other things we complain about. You appreciate the 65 and sunny not just because it is such great weather but because you know what it is not.

Just like the weather, you cannot control what happens to you. However here are some things that you can do.

You can control your climate: A personal pet peeve of mine is people who live in Minnesota that hate snow.  The get upset every time it snows and every winter. This is the definition of crazy. Minnesota is known for snow and cold, stop expecting it to be different. Apply this to your life. If you are unhappy with the direction your life is headed, the people in your life or being stuck, go out and change it. Change something about it because you are in control. You may not control everything but you can damn well be in charge of the direction your life is headed.

Be prepared: When rain is in the forecast, you grab an umbrella and a raincoat; with snow you get that shovel ready. Just like you cannot always control the weather, you cannot always control what happens in your life, no matter where you are. You can prepare yourself and control how you react. You can either deal with it or ignore it. Start building tools for yourself to help you through those hard times.

Many times all you can do is wait out the storm. I remember a scene from Twister, where the tornado is on its path of destruction, and they are caught in a field. The main characters frantically scramble to a barn only to find it hanging with knives, axes and cleavers yet they stay there because the twister is so close. They find a spot and hold on for life. At times in life no matter where you go, it is not going to go your way, in fact you may feel like your life is ending. Hold on, you can weather out the storm, you can handle it.