No One Gets What They Deserve

It may help us sleep better at night to believe that Karma will come back and bite the person that wronged us, however no one gets what they deserve.
If you do not believe me let me give you a few examples.

Tell that to the mother who lost her 13-year-old son to cancer. The moments that she watched him struggle, the pain he went through and the heartbreak it caused her. Tell her that people get what they deserve. As she watched her son celebrate life, give back to people and spread joy all while dying, tell her that everyone gets what they deserve. Ask her to remember the last time she actually saw her child and could hold his hand and he could hear her voice, tell her that everyone gets what they deserve.

Tell that to the family of the wife, mother, daughter, grandmother and friend that battled cancer for 11 years and never complained. When it came back for the last time and took her life, tell her that everyone just gets what they deserve. Tell her family, friends, husband, children and grandchildren that she just got what she deserves.

Take a look at me. I am stubborn, angry and selfish at times and yet I have so much. I have an amazing future in front of me, an amazing family and friends and so much more. I have given so little and yet I have been given so much. I have the ability to walk, run, swim, talk and move on my own, what did I do to deserve this?

No one gets what they deserve, life is not fair and just because someone screwed you over does not mean the world will come crashing down on them and just because you did a good deed does not mean you deserve anything, this is not how life works.
When we focus on us being the judges of what people deserve, we hold ourselves back from being the best version of ourselves. We cannot judge people and wish ill on people and still say we are at the top of our game. The reason is that every time we allow this for to happen, it is like a tiny weight being tied to us. It may feel like nothing at first but as we add more and more, it will hold us back from going further.

Tips to let go:

• Stop caring: Stop worrying about what everyone else is getting. We are not put on this earth to judge people, we are here to make the most out of our lives.
• Give your best because you want to: To give your best only because it will get you the best is a disaster waiting to happen. At the first sign of being less than great, you will give up, be great because you want to be.
• Realize the world owes you nothing: The world owes us nothing, no one owes us anything. Theo only person who owes us something is ourselves. We owe it to ourselves to be the biggest kick ass version that we can be.
• Stop playing the victim: In 90% of our life, we are not the victim, we choose to be. 

When most people hear that life is unfair they think of the negatives connotations behind it but the truth is that when life is not fair, it can be great. Everyone screws up stop letting it hold you back. The world is not fair, sometimes you are dealt crappy hand, deal with it, it is not a personal attack on you, you did not do anything to deserve it. Take it head on and create your own future. Your future is unstoppable.

Buy the Materials, Not the House

You can buy someone else’s home or build your own. Your life is the same way; you can choose to follow someone else’s life or you can build your own.

The problem that many of us run into is not that we are not capable, smart or driven. It is that we spend our whole lives trying to live in someone else’s “house” and we never feel at home. Think about the first time you were at a friend’s house. You had no idea where anything was. They tell you to make yourself at home, but you never really feel at home.

We live our lives the same way. We look up to the people that we admire, and we try to live their life, the problem, we never really feel like we are living. The harder we try to be like them the more it feels not right.

The world does not need a replica of your hero, what they need is you. Here are some tips on how to make that happen.

Build the foundation: You can have the best looking home but without a solid foundation a storm can come along and destroy it. Your life is the same way. There will be challenging times during your life and without a solid foundation you will collapse.

Not sure about your foundation, that is fine, everyone has to figure it out. What are the core beliefs for your life? What drives you? What sets your soul on fire? Do not over think it, write a list of your top 5-7 beliefs and this is your foundation.

Create the blueprint: Use your blueprint and your foundation together. A blueprint for a home creates the layout. The blueprint for your life helps you determine what you will focus on.  It is how you want to grow in your beliefs. Just like you can choose the size of your living room when you build your home, you can choose if your work life is bigger than your social life. The square footage is the amount of time, patience and drive you have to make it all happen.

Renovations:  People renovate their houses all the time. The same applies to your life. You are going to realize that some things need to be updated, removed or added. Stop worrying about the changes and just make them to improve your life.

Steal Inspiration: Just because you are building your own house, does not mean it has to be completely original. No one is truly original, we are all working off one another. What you need to remember is to make it your own. To be original for the sake of being original without it aligning with your foundation and your blueprint, will never work. It may look “neat” but it will not mean anything to you.

Move:  People move into bigger houses and smaller houses all the time. My Grandparents moved into a smaller house a few years ago because it was less work and less room. Stop worrying about the house or life you spent so much time building if it does not work for you. Build something that will serve you the best.

Your life just like a house is subject to disaster. There will be an event in your life that will make you question everything; it may even destroy everything you created. I guarantee it will happen to you at least once in your life. Do not let that scare you. It is an opportunity to

Do Great Work, Take No Shit.

A simple concept that will get you farther than you can imagine.

Go in every day and do great work, not just do okay work, do great work.

There is so much crap that can come into our life that will tell us to stop giving our best. Stop letting outside factors ruin not just the quality of your work but your reputation as well. Here are a few that I have noticed:

1) No one else is giving their best. While everyone else is just doing okay, stop settling and continue to push on. Your life and your worth is not judged by what others do. It is judged by the impact that you have.

2) I may not get credit. Greatness is not about getting credit, it is about doing great work to do great work.

3) It sucks: I did not get the raise or promotion I wanted. My boss is not the best and my company is not the greatest. This is not limited to just your work but every aspect of your life. While these all may be true, do not let them determine how great your work will be. Continue to be great.

4) I do not feel like it: I had this mindset; I do not feel like giving my best work. I just want to slack off. Please don’t. I know life gets hard sometimes, we get tired it is not an excuse to suck. The most successful people you know have been through a lot and times where they could have and probably did not give greatness; the difference is that they now focus on giving greatness every opportunity that they can.

One of our greatest fears is not the belief that we cannot be great, but we doubt how long we can be great. We see greatness as a gas gauge, that we only have a certain amount and once it is gone, it is gone.  Stop selling yourself short. You are unlimited in your greatness. The more you give greatness, the more of it you get. As Tony Robbins puts it, we live in a life of scarcity, a belief that we are not enough. Watch his amazing video.

Your greatness is unlimited. It requires work and it will be a struggle, but you can always be greater no matter who you are.  This is not an insult it is a compliment, an insult would be to say that you could not be any greater we are then saying that we cannot improve.

This goes both ways, stop expecting everyone to be perfect, especially your boss. They struggle and fail as well. They are humans; they and you can be great but not perfect.

Greatness is not a viral video. We have confused popularity with greatness, just because a video is popular does not mean it is great. Popularity is in the terms of others, greatness is in on your own terms.

Greatness comes before fame and success, not the other way around. Start giving greatness.

Take no shit

To be great, does not mean you let people walk all over you. It means that you define what is important to you.

If you are constantly looked over, after you give greatness, take no shit, find something better.

If people undermine you and your value, take no shit, find something better. Just never stop giving greatness, do not let the actions of others determine what you do, ever.

There are many things in our life that we cannot control one thing we can control is our choice to give greatness.

Facing Our Personal and Professional Fears

Of all the obstacles we encounter in business, fear is by far the greatest. The same fears that plague us in our personal lives creep into our professional lives. Building our ideal life includes our ideal work, and creating a healthy balance between them. How is this achieved? By getting out of our own damn way.

Fear of Failure 

We all make mistakes, every day. In life, in work. We miss our flights. We hire the wrong people. We forget to pay an invoice. Mistakes are not failures, and they are easily overcome. With every missed opportunity, there is an opportunity to learn and grow, to do better.

Businesses fold for many reasons. Your funding disappears, society changes course, a recession hits, competition edges you out… There are any number of outcomes that are beyond your control. Look at any major publisher. You know the names of their most successful books or magazines, but what about the several that didn’t make it? Look at any major retailer or restaurant. You see locations everywhere you go, but what about the several that didn’t survive in their marketplace? No company, great or small, is exempt from making mistakes. But the heads of Random House or Target don’t close their doors, because their successes always outweigh their setbacks.

Fear of Inadequacy 

Many people are paralyzed by their fears of inadequacy. They question themselves, their talents and abilities, their products and ideas. Am I knowledgeable enough? Am I experienced enough? Is my product or service good enough? Questions like these can cause us to sabotage ourselves, either by preventing us to follow our dream in the first place, or crippling us along the way.

Everything is figureoutable.

Knowledge and experience can be gained. Products and services can be improved. Look at any food manufacturer. How often do you see words like new and improved, now with more…? Nobody has it perfect out of the gate, and nobody expects you to. In fact, making improvements is one of the best excuses to sporadically re-approach your ideal market.

Fear of Taking Risks

It’s a psychological fact that people view loss to be twice as powerful as gain. We work hard for what we have, and often we settle in life and work, because it’s a gamble to go for our dreams. We think of entrepreneurs as big risk takers, but truthfully, entrepreneurs take calculated risks and accept them as part of doing good business, and of living a good life.

Taking a calculated risk means considering all the advantages and disadvantages. It means considering all possible outcomes, being aware some outcomes may not be ideal, and being prepared. We buy bicycle helmets not because we expect to fall, but because we might. Helmet or no helmet, we still ride.

Fear of Financial Insecurity 

Nothing is certain when starting or growing a business, and that constant state of flux promotes insecurity and uncertainty. Some people choose to save up and start small, some find investors or take out loans and go for it. There is no wrong way, but there’s a right way for you.

I had a full-time career when I decided to start my first company. I planned for months while I still had a steady paycheck. I made sure I had six months of living expenses on hand. I made sure I had multiple income streams established. This is how I fought my financial fear. Ten years later I still practice both, but they are no longer about financial insecurity, they are about financial freedom. Six months of living expenses on hand means I can take a break anytime I want to. Multiple income streams means I can drop anything that’s no longer working for me.

Fear of Criticism

Our relationships influence every choice we make, and we listen especially hard when we’re about to do something big. Because humans are sensitive creatures. We care if our friends and family like our significant other. We care if our coworkers and classmates like our new haircut or outfit. That won’t change. But we can choose whether or not they have the ability  to change our minds.

Generally speaking, we won’t lose someone we love because we made a choice they didn’t agree with. Sure, you’d like others to believe in you and support your goals and dreams. But what’s really important is that you believe in yourself and do what calls to you.

It’s okay to change your mind. About the work you’re doing. About the life you want. About the company you keep. About anything, anytime. You get one life, do it your way. No matter what anyone else thinks.

Fear of Growth and Success

It may seem silly to fear your own growth and success, but it’s a very real and very legitimate thing. Growth and success often means adding to staff, opening additional locations… It means things start to get complicated. You need more insurance. You pay more taxes. More paperwork. More everything. More becomes a frightening word rather than an exciting one.

We live in a time where it’s never been easier to make our mark on the world. We also have an unprecedented amount of resources and assistance available to us. Smart solutions exist. Again: 

Everything is figureoutable.

Fear isn’t something we can expect to eliminate, but it is something we are capable of acknowledging and moving beyond. For every fear we have, there are multiple ways to circumvent it with knowledge and confidence.



Erika L. Block is a professional writer, artist/designer and art director working exclusively with the art, film, publishing, music and fashion industries. She is the owner of Creative Studios and Factory Girl, and the co-founder of BRAVE. Find her on facebook: facebook.com/erikalblock

There is No One Tip for Success

According to IBISWorld, the fitness industry is a $30 billion industry that employs over 642,000 people¹. A simple Google search of “How to get fit” had over 92 million search results.

Take a look for workouts to lose weight, gain muscle, or get in better shape. There are millions of them out there. If you look at Men’s Fitness there will always be a new workout regimen to get a ripped body. The kicker, there are people that get results and people that fail miserably.

The problem is not too many workouts or gyms but it is that we assume any workout will work for us.  If there was only one way, how the hell can so many gyms exist?

We apply this same illogical thinking to success. Constantly there is a new study that has the one key attribute to a successful life. We study the habits of the extremely successful. What are their morning rituals, what do they eat, when do they get up and what kind of leader are they? Just to name a few. Just because you get up at 4:00 AM does not make you successful. Simply sleeping on the floor of your office and working countless hours will not make you successful as well.

The problem is that we buy into these ideas without thinking about ourselves first. We focus too much on just being successful with defining what it means to us. As an example think of planning a trip to New York with no map, compass, GPS or guidance of any kind. In fact you have no idea where you are even departing from. You may not even have a car or a plane ticket and better yet we may not even want to go to New York, we only chose New York because that is the “popular” place. If you never wanted to go to New York in the first place, you will most likely not be too excited when you get there just as when you do not clearly define what success looks like for yourself.

Here are some tips to reach your own success.

Define Success: If you do not know where you want to go, how will you know when you have arrived? There is no singular definition of success. In fact there is at least one definition of success for every person on this earth.  In order to truly reach success you need to know what success means to you.

Stop worrying about what others are doing: It is rare that you will find someone that has a close definition of success like you do, so stop worrying about how everyone else defines success. Even if you do have someone that has the exact same idea of success, your paths will be different, do what works for you.

Keep at it: You have a higher chance of being successful, the less often you give up.

Life is not a race, stop worrying about who is on the course: I hate to ruin the ending but in the end we all die. No tombstone has “He was better than BLANK” or “She beat BLANK”, stop worrying about everyone around you and focus on yourself.

^{1 http://www.ibisworld.com/industry/default.aspx?indid=1655}

Four Words that Will Change Your Life

“How can I help?” will get your further than you could have ever imagined.

There will be people that will take advantage of you, help anyway. Never let negative people stop you from doing something incredible. Invest and believe in the best.

How will it change your life?

What you put out into the world is what you attract. When you are willing to help others, amazing things start to happen.

It will build your own self-worth. Your life is not just about what you can do for yourself it is also about how you can help others. When you take time to look beyond yourself and help someone you realize how much of an impact you can have on the world and prove that you matter.

It feels amazing. It just feels good to help other people in your life.

You never know how one small act can change your life or the lives of those around you. The world is filled with enough negative propaganda already. We hear too much about all the bad and not enough about the good. It is easy to get depressed because of this. Inspire someone by helping them.

You will lose nothing; we are far too concerned in what we will lose by helping people. The truth is that even if the person you help uses you, you will still come out ahead. You will learn, grow and prosper because of it.

Here are seven tips to make the most out of those four words.

1. You cannot make anyone successful and it has nothing to do with your talent or how hard you try. Success lies with the person that is trying to achieve it and it is a hands-on experience. Do not drive the car for them, give them directions.
2. You cannot help everyone at the same time. Think of it as an elevator. You can cram as many people as you want into an elevator but at some point it will not close, move or it may get stuck. Keep room open.
3. Help people that fill you up and make you happy. Do not spend time with those people that piss you off or make you mad.
4. Do not help out of guilt or shame. These are powerful emotions and if you are doing it just because you feel like you have to, your advice will be worthless.
5. Do good and expect nothing in return. Life does not keep score. I know some of the nicest people that have been through the toughest times and there are people out there meaner than anything you could imagine, that have it all. The point is to stop expecting something in return because that is when you will get nothing and you deserve nothing.
6. Help people but make time for yourself. You do not have to be Mother Teresa. The best way to help other people is to figure out what you want out of your life first.
7. Ask for help yourself, this one was huge for me to get over. I thought that when I asked for help I was letting people down but in reality I was connecting with people and I was showing them that I was smarter than trying to do it on my own. 

Six Tips to Make the Most Out of Advice

Advice, criticism, feedback or whatever you call it is one of the biggest opportunities for us to grow, yet we do not take advantage of it often enough. Here are six tips to make the most of the advice you receive.

1. Do not take it personally: This is hard to do and it is the extremely important. The advice, feedback and criticism can be hard to take at times. We are being told that we can improve which for many of us comes off as us being inadequate and not enough. Acknowledge these feelings but do not dwell on them. These people are not trying to make you feel bad they are trying to help you. Figure out how you can use the advice that you have been given.
   
2. Stop seeing it as a negative: Everyone can improve, no matter how successful they are. There is no end to improving. Instead of seeing it as a place where you are inadequate see it as an opportunity to grow and become even better.
   
3. Take immediate action: Change is hard and it only gets harder the more you put it off. There will always be another “tomorrow”. Taking immediate action will start you on the path to becoming the best version of yourself. It sounds scary but it is one step. You do not have to know every step. You just need the courage to take the first step and your destination in mind.
   
4. Take at least one step every day. Success is not stationary, it moves. If you have ever tried to climb up an escalator that is going down you know what success is. If you take it step by step, you will eventually get to the top but if you just stand there, you are going to keep going lower and lower and you will then have that much more ground to cover. Success is attainable but it requires movement and the more you do the better off you are
   
5. Ask for advice before it is given to you: Be proactive in your pursuit of being even more kick ass. Focus on how you can get even better. Take control of your future.
   
6. Be grateful for the people that give you advice: In one of my first jobs out of college, I had managers that would not give me feedback no matter how much I asked for it. It sucked. In other jobs I had managers that gave me advice even when I did not ask for it. If I had to make a choice I would choose getting advice. When someone gives you advice and truly means it, it is one of the biggest compliments that you can ever receive. They are investing their valuable time in you. What is better proof of how worthy you are and how valuable you are than someone taking time out of their day to help you become even more kick ass?

It Takes Time

The Redwood Tree is one of the tallest and oldest trees in the world.  They reach heights of 350 feet and 24 feet in diameter and with a life-span of 2,000 years¹, chances are they are not going anywhere. What does the Redwood have to do with success? Time.

Success takes time and in a world where instant gratification is gold, time is the enemy. We want to be more productive and efficient getting everything done faster to save us time but what we really need is time.

It is not a lack of solutions to our problems that is an issue, it is the fact that we give so little time for our solutions to work before we give up on them. It is not just our problems but our opportunities as well.

Your success whether it be personal or business related will take time.

Joel Osteen a famous pastor spends hours rehearsing his sermon each week before he steps a foot in front of his congregation. By the time the sermon is televised he has practiced it in front of a live audience two times.²

Mike Reilly The Voice of Ironman reviews the names of each participant four to five times for every race that he does. He reviews the bios as well, and then picks out 10 to highlight. With around 2,500 participants it requires hours of time. It takes him less than a minute to say your name as you cross the finish line but it means a world of difference when he says it right. It is a huge reason that he is so popular and people look forward to hearing him.³

There are many more.

Time is one of the most valuable resources we have. Not just because it is limited but because of the enormous potential it holds. If you have enough time, you can do anything.

Your goals require talent, skill, passion, money and hard work all of which are driven by time. The more time you devote to what you want to do and where you want to go the faster you will get there. Many of us do not lack talent, education, or ability but what we lack is the ability to devote the time to make real progress. We give up way too easily because unlike a Jimmy Johns we cannot be freaky fast, but we can make freaky progress with time.

¹ http://www.livescience.com/39461-sequoias-redwood-trees.html² http://www.forbes.com/sites/carminegallo/2012/01/09/joel-osteen-7-keys-to-successful-public-speaking/#58c6c7676a97 ³ http://www.timesfreepress.com/news/local/story/2014/sep/28/mike-reilly-is-the-voice-of-ironman/268198/

Finding Your Passion

You are in the standing in the ocean, looking at the beach and a giant wave comes behind you and drenches you in ice cold water. You become instantly cold, almost frozen. It is a feeling that you will never forget, it is just like finding your passion.

If you are never in the ocean, you can never get hit by a wave and if you never take action to feel your passion, you will never find it. We cannot just find our passion if we take a seat on the sidelines and wait for it, we need to be out in the ocean.

If you have ever been hit by a wave, it is a feeling that you will never forget and when you find your passion it is a feeling that you will never forget. The problem for many of us is the journey to find our passion because just as powerful as the feeling of finding your passion is, not find your passion is strong as well.

Have you ever lost your keys? You know the saying “They are always the last place you look.” The truth is that even if you found them the first place that you looked, it would still be the last place. It is not that you do not have a passion; it is just that you have not found it yet. Every place you try and find your keys, you become more and more frustrated. It is not long before it all seems hopeless and you begin searching where you first started. This happens to all of us as well when we try to find our passion, it is frustrating and it feels helpless but at the end of the day, you need to find it to take off.

You can tell someone that has passion from a mile away. They just seem more alive, they love life and they have such an intense and yet calming presence that it is impossible to ignore. That is what I want to help you do, I want to help you find your passion and the biggest advice I can give you is to keep looking, even when it seems pointless because you are going to find it.

No More Days Off

“Everybody is working for the weekend”- Loverboy

If you only work for the weekend or for vacation, you are not living.

Stop living a life that you need an escape from.

What if you lived a life where you did not need another day off?

In 2012, according to the World Bank the average human life for an American was 78 or 28,489 days. When you live for the weekend, you only live 8,138 days, the other 20,351 days you are not alive. Let that sink in for a minute, for over two-thirds of your life you have made the choice to not truly live

You don’t need to love your job or boss. These are lies that we have been told, do they help, of course. Somewhere along the line, we were told we should have this perfect life. We will love our job, we will have all these friends, have a lot of money and our lives will be perfect. Stop buying in. You need to love your life.

Here are some tips on how to live an amazing life for the rest of your life.

Stop seeing work as a bad thing. It is an opportunity to learn, grow and become better. It is a channel to get you where you want to go.

Do at least one thing that is significant to you each day. Some days at work, no matter what job you have will seem pointless and that you never had chance to do anything significant. You have time before and after your work day to make an impact. Take a look at Bo Johnson, a boy who did not have a job, never held an official leadership position but he changed and continues to change the lives with his story. He did not wait until a job was there for him; he went out and did it.

Forgiveness: This is one that I have the most trouble with, not because I do not believe in it but because it is hard for me to do. When we hold on to hate, hold on to the ways we were mistreated, do not forgive those that have wronged us and more importantly the times that we have let ourselves down, we are holding back out lives. Forgiveness cuts the weights so we can come up for air.

Stop trying to get even and focus on getting better. When we try to get even with someone that wronged us, we do not become better, we just become even. We become on the same level that pissed us off. Why do we want to become even? What is that going to prove to the person that wronged us? If you are just living to prove that person wrong, you are living for them, you are putting all your effort on them and you are far too valuable to do that. You were made for so much more.

Stop complaining and be grateful: Life is not fair and sometimes it sucks. Not everything will go as you planned, it happens to everyone, it is not hate it is not God punishing you, it is life.  There are so many stories that I could tell you about individuals who had the cards stacked against them but they had a grateful attitude and they thrived. While we are at it, if you have done this in the past, stop letting it hold you down. It is in the past and there is nothing you can do about it. Focus on your future.

Help others: The best way to experience this one is to go out and do it but here is a caveat, if you only help people for the reward or karma, do not expect to feel anything. Give freely.

Remember how awesome you are. In an age where celebrity gossip, selfies and the number Twitter followers are the ways that we measure our life, it is easy to forget how great you are. You are full of so much potential, more than you can even fathom. We do not need to tell everyone how great we are, we need to believe it ourselves. Stop trying to impress people and start doing things that fulfill your life. We truly live when we do not need anyone’s praise to prove how great we are. It is a scary concept but until we get there, we are living for other people and we are not living. Go out there and kick some ass.

Fishing for Success

It is impossible to catch anything, without having your line in the water. If you walked by someone that was on the side of a dock. They had their tackle box, bait and a rod but they just stood there. If they said they were fishing, you would call them crazy but that is the way we treat our success at times. We stand and we wait for success to come to us. We worry that we do not have the right talents, skills and drive when all we need to do is cast a line.

The more times you cast your line, the better your chances are at catching a fish. The more times you try the better the chances you are at “finding” success. Success is a process, there are many times that you will do your best and fail. It can wear on you, do n stop. If you stop, you will never get anything.

Fishing requires skills and talents just like success. Build up your “tackle box”, with skills and hard work so that you can be successful in any situation. Stop just trying to catch something, focus on what you really want. Different environments require different skills to be successful.

What you fish for determines how you fish and where you fish. You can spend your entire life on Lake Michigan and never catch a Tuna, no matter how hard you tried. Understand and commit to what success means to you and then build your environment around this. Many times we just get on the boat and cast our line, because that is what everyone else is doing. We can catch more than anyone but we continue to wonder why we are not happy or successful, it is because we are fishing for the wrong things.

How long would you wait for a fish to bite before you moved? Success is much like fishing in the fact that while you may change locations, tactics and what you are looking for, you never stop fishing. So while your outcomes may change and tactics may change, never give up on creating success.

The One Question to Change Your Life

In a busy world it is easy to get lost and lose track of what is really important to you.

I do not believe that people are not hard workers, don’t’ have dreams and want to settle, it is easier now than ever to be stuck and not know where to go.

Some books want you to think if it feels right, if it makes you happy or whatever you want to put in there. Why that is all good, it is hard to get to sometimes. Emotions have a funny way of taking control of our life.

My solution is to ask yourself, as often as you can “Is this helping me get towards my goal?” Whatever you do, should be helping you reach one of your goals. Stop letting what does not matter; the trivial things in life get to you and keep you down.

Let’s make one thing clear. Goals are up to you. Your goals do not have to do anything with money, work or your future but just be ready to accept the consequences. That goes for both people who are focused on just the present and those that are focused in the long-term.

When life throws 10,000 things at you, ask yourself, what will help me get towards my goals?

New Years: Second Installment

A week ago today, everyone was excited. The New Year was hours away. Many were busy contemplating the ride that 2015 had been and planning on kicking ass in 2016.

The countdown begins, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year, your life magically become open to all the possibilities, you believed you could change and that this year your resolution was going to work. Nothing was going to stop you, after all 2016 is going to be your year.

A week later around 25% of all resolutions have already been lost, forgotten or dropped by the side of the road. Whatever it is off the wagon, on the wagon, whatever you want to call it, it happened. By the end of January one third of all resolutions will be broken. Just eight percent of resolutions will make it to the New Year. The odds are not in your favor.

Once you break the resolution, it becomes an excuse. The first time you give up on it, it sucks, it hurts and you feel bad. Every time you break your resolution after that first time, it becomes easier and easier to do. The excuses build and the evidence builds, all the past mistakes come and drown you and make giving up so much easier. If I have already given up once, what is one more time, two more times and why even bother counting, I have already failed.

We focus on the next year, and it becomes easier and easier to push off decisions that could change our life. Next year I will make it happen, next year I will stick with it. At the same time, the fear of starting builds. All the times we have failed. We become afraid to move. We are paralyzed and we fail.

Your life does not begin with a New Year, it begins with a new mindset. Your life is not measured by your years it is measured in the moments. Every second is a new opportunity. This is not some fluffy make you feel good crap, it is the truth but it will only happen if you choose to believe it. That resolution that you gave up and that you lost, start it again today, who the hell cares when it ends? Get back up, get in the game and learn. Stop putting of your new life until next year.

Your life, new opportunities and freedom do not occur in a new year, or even over night, they occur the minute you decide to start thinking differently, be positive and believe in yourself.

Ditch the New Year's Resolution

I was sitting down having coffee with a friend who I admire a great deal and they mentioned to me that they would like to be more assertive in 2016.  I first was happy for them but then it hit me, why the fuck do we wait for a specific day to get started, especially when it comes to being assertive? Why not start right now?

We wait for New Year’s Day as if our life will somehow magically improve and we will be ready. We may think not we are ready, but we are. Everything we want to achieve we can start now, not just today but right now. If you are reading this you can get started. If you have no goals or resolutions, what a better place to get started then to come up with one that actually means something to you.

Why do we put off making our lives better just because of a stupid tradition that no one questions or even thinks about? We want a clean path to success that is unquestioned, direct and easy. Life does not work that way.

There has never been overnight success. When we hear about overnight success it is not the work that occurred overnight, it is the awareness of the work that happens overnight. The success happens because that person worked their ass off. They did not wait for a certain time to make it happen; they kept working until it did happen. What makes New Year’s Day so special? A new year, how about a new life.

Stop thinking you need to have everything figured out. If you talk to anyone who tells you that they that they have their whole life planned, show them compassion. They are lying to you, they are not as self-confident as they would like you to believe. If they tell you that you need to have everything figured out, kindly thank them and remember that you do not. You need to have a direction, goals and aspirations but you do not need to know it all because no one does.

If you get started now, you will be even closer to reaching your goal. If you wait, you put yourself in this constant struggle of trying to figure out if this is the right move for you. “What if I fail?”, “What if I was meant to do something else?” “What if I give up?” I could go on and on and on about all the stupid reasons we decide to not pursue what we want. The point you need to remember is that, you are ready.

I have tried to publish blog post consistently for over a year and I failed numerous times, I still have not made it. Every time that I failed I could have given up, sometimes I did but I always went back to it. When we fail we take this as a sign that we should give up, it is the exact opposite, it is a sign to keep going. You are going to fail and that is okay. It does not matter when you start or what you are doing you will fail. If you do not fail, you are not doing something that is scary or challenging enough to truly grow.

If you are okay with waiting, you do not want it bad enough. If you are okay with letting it all be a dream, you do not want it bad enough. Your fear of failure is still blocking your judgement because no matter how good of a plan you have, your success will not go as planned. Fear is going to be there but it cannot take control. When you take that leap and decide to pursue everything that you have ever wanted, fear does not go away it gets magnified; you have to be okay with that and get ready to kick fear’s ass. We cannot wait around to get what we want, we must go after it. We need to be obsessed about it, relentless and ruthless towards it.

How to Become an Inspiration

I know a lot of inspiring people in my life. They range from friend who ran 20 marathons in 20 days to one that recently became an author and one that has completed an Ironman all while pushing and pulling someone that would otherwise not physically be able to complete the event and these are just a few of my friends there are many more. You listen to them talk and you cannot help but be inspired by their stories and their moments of glory. It is amazing to see success happen to those that truly deserve it which is the problem. There is no problem with them being successful but with how we process how they got there. When we think of inspiration we just see the highlights, we see the good parts and that is the problem we rarely hear about the struggle that made this inspiration possible.

All of my inspiring friends that I have mentioned had a struggle that they had to go through to become inspiring. The struggles that they went through are not inspiring but in fact to most people they are uninspiring and depressing.

My friend that ran 20 marathons in 20 days gave up hours of sleep, trained for hours suffered from injuries and felt pain in most of the runs.

My friend that wrote the book spent hours of time writing it, investing time in himself to learn how to become the best writer that he could. He invested in his book promoting it and getting it off the ground. He dealt with rejection but kept going.

My other friend that completed two Ironmans pushing and pulling someone gave up hours of training, his time and having an easier way to compete.

This is what makes inspiration. Inspiration is created by when we choose to be boulder in our lives and not let who we currently are define, who we will always be. We get trapped in the belief that the journey is going to be this glorious ride when really you are down in the trenches wondering if you will ever get out and if you should just give up. This is my first problem with inspiration and motivation, it can become an excuse

When we wait for moments of inspiration to get us started and to keep us going, we put our future in the hands of the unknown; we completely give up all of our drive and passion. You are never going to know everything that will happen in your life. There will be ups and downs and sometimes life will punch you right in the gut, you just need to give it your all. We limit ourselves to only a fraction of the impact that we could have if we just decided we wanted it. This is my second issue with inspiration, people say they want it but are not open to it.

We fail to realize that inspiration only work for those that are open to it. We try so hard to motivate and inspire those that do not want to do anything and then we blame ourselves when they stay the same. Think of it like a parachute, you can tell someone all you want how to use it, what needs to be done and when to use it but unless they want to use it, you cannot help them from plummeting towards the earth. If you want to stop plummeting towards the earth, here is a tip. Inspiration is a mindset not a feeling.

If you want to be successful stop waiting for inspiration and start focusing on your mindset. It is a balance between believing that the best is yet to come, knowing you are strong enough but being aware it is going to be a struggle. The fact of the matter is, you do not need inspiration to help you be successful, it helps but you do not need it. So

Anyone can be inspiring but most people do not want to take the leap to become inspiring. We become too comfortable with the world that we live in not wanting to become hurt or vulnerable when that is all that is really needed. Inspiration takes work and it takes time but most of all it takes a commitment to not being afraid to be bolder. Ordinary and easy lives do not make for inspiration. Hardships and pain are what create inspiration. Inspiration takes hard work, long nights and it is a struggle. We forget to focus on telling the story that lead to the inspiration

For the love of the game.

Have you ever met someone and noticed how much passion and drive they have for being successful and wanted to be like them? I have and one of the things that I have noticed is their passion and love for what they do, it is something that cannot be made up or you can spot a phony from a mile away.

Notice a clear distinction, I did not mention that they just had a passion but they had a passion for what they do. The excuse that I am just not that interested in a subject so I will try less hurts no one but yourself. Life is full of shit that you do not want to do but you have a choice, you can do it with passion or you can half-ass your way through it, use your whole ass. Successful people know that you need to be all in, all the time.

What I see about these people is that they are not so obsessed about a successful moment but rather are very obsessed with the constant opportunity for success and for the ability to grow from it. They are not obsessed with success but they are obsessed with becoming better at every chance they get.  They realize that championships, multi-billion dollar companies and to be the best is not made when everyone is looking but rather when no one is looking. It  is made when it is easier to quit, to give up when the pain sets in or when you would rather be doing something else.

A friend runs a business that sells nuts, bolts and fasteners to medium sized businesses. It is hard to believe that anyone could really get that excited about it and yet he thrives in the environment. It goes beyond what his company does, he has a passion for being the best, working hard and making amazing things happen, with that attitude you can be successful anywhere. These are all about the attitude not skills or talents. Anyone can learn to live with passion if they want to.

Have you ever heard someone say “All it would take is one big break and I would be set?” This is an example of looking for just a moment of success. They are not so much obsessed with what they are doing but rather with just being successful so they can be done. People that are focused on the growth want that big moment to propel them to even bigger moments of more growth and opportunity. They are not obsessed with winning but they are obsessed with improving everything that they can to win more. Many of us get it wrong; we spend all this time trying to be successful without putting the effort into what will make us successful. You win a football game by scoring more points than the other team, what this means is that you need to not only score but you need to stop the other team from scoring. To break it down further what this means is that you need to practice the components that make up your offensive and defensive line. That is how you win and that same concept is how you become successful

Michael Jordan made a multi-million dollar salary for numerous years. Even getting paid  $10,000,000 would for most people be making it big but he kept going and at his peak he made $33,000,000 in one year but that did not stop him. He had a love for the game he was playing, not for being successful. Clearly money did not drive him but what drove him was his desire to be the best. 

Warren Buffet has been named one of the richest men in the world, and still working at 85 has a love for the game. He could have quit years ago and lived easily off what he worked so hard to get and yet he did not, he kept going and kept creating more success. He loves the challenge and the ability to grow from what he takes on.

Oprah Winfrey is one of the few people whose first name is a household brand. She is a multi-billionaire who has mastered the media for years. She could have given up years ago and retired but she is still in the game, even without her television show. While she may have experienced plenty of success, she was not looking for a onetime event but rather a lifetime of growth.

Focus on growth.

Success Sucks

Life is a series of choices that made every second that domino down the line. Your choice this very minute affects the rest of your life.

There is a lot of discussion around what success is and what it is not. My personal view is that success is doing what sucks, what is hard and what is painful to get to a greater place in your life.

I think back to Ironman and I know that I use it a lot but it has so many values to me. I am sure that your passion or your hobby has taught you many lessons as well.

As I got off the bike and made my way into transition, I was feeling okay. I knew that all I had left was to run 26.2 miles and I would be done. Within a mile of the run, I knew it was going to be painful. My legs were cramping and I could not get my nutrition and water in check. I knew that I had a long road of suffering ahead of me.

The reason that many people do Ironman is the very reason why so many people choose not to do Ironman, it sucks. The time you have to put into it just to get to the start line giving up your social life to stay on your training schedule. Feeling the fatigue and pain as your workouts get longer and longer and increase in intensity. Then you get to race day and it sucks some more. The whole day, no matter how good you are, is a struggle and it should be.

The difference is that the people that compete in an Ironman know that it sucks but let the feeling of crossing that finish line and the experience triumph over the pain. This is the key to life. Embrace the suck.

The key to success is not doing what makes you happy or trying to find your passion much less follow it. Success is taking the obstacles head on, making the hard choice and doing what is right, not what is easy.

We have been told that success is accomplishing great goals and winning but what if we reframed the way we think to see success as the work that we put into it. The moment we decide to take the hard way, the road less traveled and do what is best, not what is the easiest.

Do not get me wrong, I still see success as a conglomerate of things but a majority of what we see as success is really the output of choosing to make the best decision. We know what success looks like in the end but most of us have no clue how to get there.

How do you get to be a millionaire, by having a million dollars, pretty simple, right?  However the road to getting to a million dollars is a series of hard choices, do I go out tonight and spend my money, have a good time or do I save my money, invest it and hold off for the long term goals.

Success is not an accident; it is a series of hard choices.

The greatest part is that you can be successful today, even if you chose to not be successful for a single moment in your life prior to this. It is just one decision away from changing your life. Go be successful.

There is something that you need to know.

As I turned 29 I was flooded with birthday love and one message that kept coming across was that I was a source of inspiration for many people, while I appreciate the kind words, I think many times it is lost on people that I am no different than all the rest of the world. I am just one person who decided to take some chances, have some fun and live outside of my comfort zone.

Why I bring this up is that overall I see an issue and a mental barrier to those that we look to for inspiration. The problems is that we see those people at a different level than us, we see all the great things that they are doing and how “perfect” of a life they lead. When we start to see them in that light, we lose faith that we too can be that great and that we can be just as inspiring. We lose faith because we start to think of all the times we have failed and all of the “flaws” we have, so I want to share my story.

Here is the truth. I am stubborn, rude, mean and at times arrogant. I have failed more times than I can count. I am at times afraid, negative and dislike the world. I struggle and my life and my choices are nowhere near perfect. In fact many times in my life, I have had no idea where I was headed or what I would be doing. Far too often I let my anger run my how I think, feel and act. I am at times very unworthy of all the praise and compliments I receive. This is not me feeling bad about myself, it is just the truth.

We look at everything that is wrong with us and we see them as barriers to us being successful. We see them as things we need to hide, dirty little secrets that we cannot share, because who could possibly be worse than us? The voice inside our head, tells us that if we tell anyone these secrets we will become a fraud and unloved.

The truth is it is because of these things not in spite of them that our story can become so great, so powerful and so inspiring. These are the characteristics that we must overcome to become the best version of ourselves. It would be absurdly easy to live a perfect life, where nothing went wrong and you always got your way but it would be an uninspiring one. There would be no story, there would be no hope and there would be no greatness within you.

To me it seems that many times when we talk about accepting ourselves and loving ourselves, we only choose to love and accept the good parts. While I know everyone has an amazing gift and should celebrate how great they are, this type of thinking is flawed. It is flawed because it makes us hide and not love who we really are, with this thinking we only love ourselves when we are perfect and yet we never are.

The choice to embrace and accept our flaws is when we are truly set free, it is then and only then that we can deal with these issues and work on them. If we constantly ignore them, they will not go away but they will become bigger and bigger and take more control over your life.

I want everyone to realize how great they already are and that they need to share it with the world. It is easy for us to talk about all the good times but what really shapes us and creates us for who we are today is the times that we have struggled and where we fell short. We need to start talking about these times more often. We should stop being afraid to admit that we are not perfect, that we struggle and that we are normal with extraordinary gifts.  When we choose to no longer be afraid that is when we truly can be inspiring and embrace how great we truly are.

An Ironman Moment

To start off with, this post really is not about Ironman but it is about a way to live your life. It is a deliberate choice that is made every day. It is not always easy but it is always worth it.

An Ironman moment in your life is a point in your life that you will never forget.

An Ironman moment is an investment with compounding interest. The series of small choices you make on what you will do to and what you will stop doing to get to your moment all adds up and become greater than the sum of their whole. The more you do, it does not become easier but the impact becomes greater.

The choices become so much greater because with each one, you take a step outside of your comfort zone, which creates a bigger comfort zone. It is a choice to challenge yourself to go further while appreciating where you have been. When I ask people about doing an Ironman, their main response is the fact that they have never swam that far or are not that good of a swimmer. I am not sure how to break it to you but no one knew how to swim when they first started training. If we stopped ourselves from where we were and what our current skills set were, we would never get anywhere. We would never do anything. No one, no matter how great they are was able to swim the whole distance. Apply this outside of an Ironman to your life right now, what is it that you want to do but currently cannot because of where you are? You can spend your entire life focusing on why you cannot get there or you can spend your life figuring out the next step you need to take to get there. One will lead you nowhere while the other will change your life.

People talk about all the time that they will have to dedicate to get there. You are right, it is a lot of time to dedicate and it is worth it. The time will pass anyway; you might as well invest it in doing something that changes your life. Think beyond an Ironman, this applies to every aspect of your life. If you want something you have to work for it and invest the time. I am willing to be that the time you think you will miss, will go unnoticed. You can spend your time working towards your goal or slipping away from it. They both bring challenges, when you work towards your goals, these challenges help you grow, when you choose to ignore your goals these challenges make you feel a fraction of how great you really are.

This moment in your life is about experiencing how truly great you are and not in an arrogant way but in a way that excites you to do more, be more and live more. It is about putting everything on the table and seeing what you are truly made of. It is reaching your limits and breaking them. Most people will never truly understand how great they are, not because they are not courageous enough but because they have been told to settle for just being okay and that doing the least amount of work is all that they need to get by. Take a look around you, everywhere there are hacks and tricks to do less work in less time and supposedly get more from it. I see this all as a lie. I do not believe that you there is any shortcut to true success because in the end, success is not just the end goal but it is the work that went into reaching that goal.

The secret is that you do not have to start with an Ironman but you do have to start somewhere, so whether it is running a 5K, doing your first sprint, switching careers, moving to a different city or whatever you can think of, you just have to start and move forward.

Stop hacking your life

If I have to see one more article about “hack” your life I may just throw up.

On the surface hacking your life seems like such a good idea, you save time and you can get “more” done. What more could you possibly want, you get to skip over all that “work” and just get the reward.

This would all be great except for the fact that it is all so wrong. Life is not about your accomplishments, it is about the journey and what it took you to get there. If you could just take an elevator to the top of Mount Everest would it still be an amazing accomplishment? The answer is no, and that is what hacking really is, it is a way to cheat yourself out of the work but to also cheat yourself out of some valuable life lessons and character building that go along with it. It stops you from having amazing stories that you will remember for the rest of your life. It lacks life.

One of my biggest accomplishments was completing Ironman Wisconsin with Team Katie. I can remember the finish line like it was yesterday and what I can still remember is all the work that went into it. The early mornings, Saturday’s dedicated to your workout and going to bed around 9:00 pm on a Friday night and it was all so worth it, it made the journey. If I had the chance to just be able to take a pill a day before and be ready, I would refuse because it lacks life.

Hacking your life seems like such a good idea because you can avoid all that “pain” that goes along with actually putting in the work but that is where the real magic happens. You see how strong you really are and how hard work pays off. You get to experience the thrill of living in those moments of pain and when you overcome them to move on.

One of the biggest selling points of hacking or in fact the main selling point is all the time you save and yet time is one of the main ingredients for success. It takes time to develop anything that is truly sustainable and powerful. If that time scares you, maybe you should not be doing it in the first place.

Stop missing life and start to really live life. Yes hacking your life is so much easier and there is less pain but it is nothing compared to the feeling you get when you accomplish something you never thought you could do and did the actual work.