Finish but never be finished

I remember completing my first marathon. It was the Cellcom marathon 2011 in Green Bay. When I crossed that finish line it was a great feeling and so painful at the same time, everything hurt. All the hard work, the hours of training and sacrifices had paid off.

Looking back on it now, I wonder what would my life be like if I would have just stopped there? What would my life be like if I limited myself to only doing a marathon and nothing longer? I know I would not be the same person I am today.

It has been the most glorious, difficult and rewarding journey of my life to push past my limits and live with no finish line. The secret is that I am no one special, I am no different than the rest of you. I only accomplished all of this because I decided I wanted to. I have never come close to winning a medal, placing, Kona or Boston and that is okay.

I talk to people who tell me that they will never do anything longer than a marathon and I am confused. I have no idea how 26.2 magnificent miles can be your limit, can be the absolute most you will ever allow yourself to run. This goes beyond running, it comes into every aspect of our life. How many times have you told yourself that you cannot be greater or do more? 

The finish line is just the start line to something even greater. You are unlimited in your potential, it will take work and it will be hard but you are unstoppable. To limit yourself because of your current situation is to limit your future.

Stop waiting for the finish line. You do not become a runner when you complete a marathon, half-marathon, 10K or 5K, you become a runner when you start to run. You become a leader when you start to lead and you become the best version of yourself not when you have accomplished A, B and C but when you accomplish A on your way to B and C.  Take a moment to realize how great you are in this moment. Take a moment to be happy for how far you have come. Take a moment to appreciate the journey and not just the finish line. You will spend your whole life on the journey, learn to appreciate it.

Crossing the finish line, accomplishing a goal or pushing past your limits is an incredible accomplishment. Take time to celebrate it and enjoy it but never be finished. 

You Are Worthy

I sit here trying to think of something to write and all I can think about is that I no longer have anything left. That I can no longer be of service to anyone. The feeling really sucks. It does not make me want to do anything and it feeds into itself. It is a never ending cycle of not believing I have nothing to offer until I take action.

What you are reading right now is the exercise I am taking myself through. Writing down that I have nothing to offer, really made me think and realize that I do have something to offer, I just needed to do take action which is the hard part, it is hard to create something that will improve someone’s life when you do not believe you can.

Fear is used a lot to describe why people will not do something, live beyond their limits and take chances. I used to think that people were very fearful, however now I do not think that is the real reason. Fear may be an output but the input is the fact that so many people believe they are not worthy of living a great life.

What is it the really drives fear? It is the belief that you are not good enough to accomplish what you want or the belief that you will fail because you are not good enough. If we believed that we were good enough and that it was okay to fail imagine how much we would get done.

Here are some ideas that have helped me get through my struggle in believing that I am not worthy.

1) Realize that everyone deals with this shit. Everyone at one time or another has believed they are not worthy. You are not a mistake, a screw up or broken. You are an incredibly amazing human being.

2) The struggle is part of the journey; it is not a road block or the voice telling you to stop.

3) Take one step: At times we get stuck in the belief that we are not good enough and that makes it hard for us to do anything. The key is to get moving and to stop worrying about creating something great, that will come but you have to get started.

4) Do it daily, it will keep you going. I have taken breaks that were supposed to last a day and instead lasted a year.

5) Forgive yourself, we all screw up. It happens, just keep going.

6) Aim for greatness not perfection: Perfection is not a good thing; it is a horrible thing. When you become perfect at something you are no longer growing.

7) Write what you are feeling down, and examine it to make sure it is actually true. It helps to write down what you are thinking because it makes you actually see it on paper.

8) Know that you will always have someone that believes in you, even when you do not believe in yourself, me.

Guest Post: Riding Across America

This is a guest post by my friend Eric Wagner from riding across the country. You can learn more about his journey and buy his book on his website: http://leavingitontheroad.com/ 

There is a chapter within my book called, No Man Left Behind (pg 87 - 94). In it, we are riding out of Albuquerque, New Mexico, after a rest day spent in the city. We had just finished the first leg of our 33 day trip, and during that first third of the ride we had ridden from Costa Mesa, California, to Albuquerque, New Mexico. All in all, we had covered a total of 842 miles in just seven days, averaging about 120 miles per day!

During our day off from the road, I spent absolutely no time stretching or riding the bike, something that our leader had strongly recommended that we consider. Of course now that I'm older and certified as a Personal Trainer, I know exactly what he was talking about. Hindsight is 20/20 I suppose.

But back then, I did absolutely no stretching or no recovery moves of any kind. So sure enough, I remember getting up out of bed the next morning on the stiffest legs and tightest lower back muscles imaginable. We were barely on the road two miles before we were riding directly into the Sandia Mountains beyond the city limits.

I remember silently cursing myself for being so stubborn and foolish that I thought I knew better than our rider leader. It seemed we spent almost the entire morning climbing up into those mountains. And as the sun climbed higher into the bright blue sky and it continued to heat up the black asphalt beneath Shiva's tires I can distinctly remember thinking the most wild and improbable methods in which I would escape from my current situation. I came up with at least half a dozen speeches in which I told my dad and the rest of the America By Bicycle Riders that today was as far as I was going to go.

That this was too hard, I had made a mistake and that they should let me go on my merry way. Sorry about all the time it took to train and the wasted money to get us here.

Each excuse was worse and more pitiful than the last until finally I came across a United States Postal truck apparently making its rounds along the side of the highway. The taillights were steadily blinking and I could tell from the way the tailpipe was gently shaking with the reverberations of an idling engine that the truck was actually running despite no one being around.

"All at once, I fantasized about throwing Shiva (my CANNONDALE CAAD 8 road bike) into the nearest brush pile and hijacking the mail truck. I'd drive all the way to Mexico and live out the rest of my days in disgraced exile."

- pg 92

Even long after the truck had faded into the distance behind me, I continued to entertain different scenarios in which I made off with this mail truck while evading both the authorities and my concerned parents.

But the thing here, and this is the most important thing to take away from my little story, is that despite all of the negative chatter and ridiculous scenarios, I kept Shiva moving forward. This is the most literally translation of you mind over your body, a perfect metaphor for the challenges we face in life each and every day. You will always find that in life, there will be hills to climb, moments when your body and mind won't be on the same page, when the doubt starts to creep in and things get hard.

"When it was all said and done, it had been my feet turning those pedals and my determination that had pushed me forward - sleep started to overtake me, but I had a smile on my face thinking about my crazy hijacking scheme with me on the lam, hiding out from the authorities as I headed to the Mexican border in a United States mail truck."


- pg 94

Like my coach Brian has said on countless occasions, having a limitless mindset isn't about being unstoppable all day, every day. It's about being able to take those voices of doubt and fear that are inside each of our heads, and moving forward despite those misgivings. Making those small changes (or in this case, small advancements on the road) eventually added up to riding 137 miles in just one day, one of the furthest I will most likely ever ride on two wheels, ever.

It took me a long time to understand that what I experienced on the roads of America was a very literal example of this method of thinking. In fact, it wasn't until my conversations with Brian that I really allowed myself to accept this valuable lesson into my own life. And trust me it has been a welcome thing to have!

I hope that this better answers your previous question of providing a specific example in my past that I've experienced a physical representation of the unlimited mindset.

I've provided a particular link to my blog of that day on the road. Feel free to use any of the photos on my blog and any additional information from my posts about the ride to help with your article!

Get Happy

My friend Brian Drury wrote a blog post a few months ago about “Asking the Right Questions” which got me thinking about our quest for happiness. While it is great to know what make you happy, it is equally important to understand what does not make you happy.

Often in life we make it harder on ourselves to be happy than we really need to. Think about a friend or maybe yourself that constantly complains about their job, significant other or how busy they are. The truth of it all, is it all comes down to three options.

1) Do nothing and stay miserable. When you choose this path, you have no one to blame but yourself, do not blame others for your choices.

2) You can leave or quit as well. This is a smart option if you really think nothing will change. It is movement and you are taking an active role in your life.

3) Work to make it better. Not a lot of people choose this path, not because people are lazy but because people do not believe that they can actually do it. They doubt their own potential. Trust me you can do it but it will require work.

Your life really comes down to how you see it and your perspective, here are some thing to think about to improve your life and increase your happiness.

1) Who do you spend your time with? I am one of the luckiest people in the world. I get to spend my time with are freaking amazing and inspiring. They make the most out of life. Happiness is up to you but it is a lot easier to choose to be happy when you have friends that want to be happy as well.

2) Who are you living for? I am always confused by the people who are driven by those who tell them that they cannot do something. It seems so backwards to me. Why would you focus your energy on someone that does not believe in us? I come from a family and a group of friends that have always supported me in everything that I do. These are the people beyond myself that I think about when I do incredible things, not the haters.

3) Get over yourself, seriously. If you have to tell me how great you are, that is my first sign that you are nowhere near great. Stop focusing on only living for yourself because your life is more than that. Stay humble and stay happy.

4) Choose that you have done enough. I always want to do more, it is a blessing and a curse. There are so many nights where I would come home from work, working out, writing and working on volunteer projects be dead tired and still not happy with what I had done that day. I always wanted to do more. The problem is that if always makes me feel less than. I never feel like I have done enough and so at the end of the day, I feel like I have failed the day and that makes me feel like crap. Realize that you have done enough as long as you have done something. You can always do more but that is fine.

5) Do not play the victim, accept responsibility. Taking responsibility is hard and it hurts but it is one of the most freeing things to do in the world. While it sucks to go through it, when you get to the end you feel free. No one is perfect and everyone screws up. Do not try and blame your shortcomings on other people.

6) Use perspective to gain clarity not to compare. There are people who have it worse off than me, who have bigger struggles than I do. When I compare myself to them I get nowhere but when I use what they are going through to gain perspective on what is happening in my life, I grow.

Happiness is something that we all screw up on, give yourself a break. Even people who are happy every day get upset, they just rebound from it. These tips I have do not come from a book but they come from my own struggle in happiness.

A Lesson in Judgement

On my Facebook Feed last Thursday, my friend Amanda Rodenhauser reposted “Young Teacher’s Unique Assignment Reveals Heartbreaking Truth About Her Kids’ Lives” an article in which students told their teacher a secret they wish she knew.

The responses were no less than heartbreaking. In the minutes it took me to read the article it hit me. Why do we spend so much time judging what others are doing?

Every day we come into contact with people that we know nothing about but in the moment we believe that we have the right to judge them. We lie to ourselves about why it is okay for us to treat them this way the truth is we have no idea what we are going through.

The takeaways:

We have no idea what people are going through: Give them the gift of grace. Is it hard, yes but it makes the world a much better place.

You need to understand the problem before you can do anything about it: This teacher was probably not aware of everything that her students were dealing with. It was not because she did not care but how could anyone know? Stop assuming you understand the problem until you ask about it.

Small actions create big results: A simple question created insane results. Stop underestimating what you can do because everything will take you somewhere.

It is not about them, it is really about you: The way we treat other people has nothing to do with how they treat us, that is a flimsy excuse that has been passed down. The truth is that if we truly want to be in control of our lives in good way, we must decide how we approach every situation.

We all have moments in our life which helps determine our future and brings light into our world. Often these moments are just a beep on our radar but they end up changing our entire direction. If you have a moment like this, please let me know, I would love to hear your story. At the end our life is just a series of events, pasted together.

I want to hear your story, if you want to share it email me at adam.lofquist@gmail.com

No One Gets What They Deserve

It may help us sleep better at night to believe that Karma will come back and bite the person that wronged us, however no one gets what they deserve.
If you do not believe me let me give you a few examples.

Tell that to the mother who lost her 13-year-old son to cancer. The moments that she watched him struggle, the pain he went through and the heartbreak it caused her. Tell her that people get what they deserve. As she watched her son celebrate life, give back to people and spread joy all while dying, tell her that everyone gets what they deserve. Ask her to remember the last time she actually saw her child and could hold his hand and he could hear her voice, tell her that everyone gets what they deserve.

Tell that to the family of the wife, mother, daughter, grandmother and friend that battled cancer for 11 years and never complained. When it came back for the last time and took her life, tell her that everyone just gets what they deserve. Tell her family, friends, husband, children and grandchildren that she just got what she deserves.

Take a look at me. I am stubborn, angry and selfish at times and yet I have so much. I have an amazing future in front of me, an amazing family and friends and so much more. I have given so little and yet I have been given so much. I have the ability to walk, run, swim, talk and move on my own, what did I do to deserve this?

No one gets what they deserve, life is not fair and just because someone screwed you over does not mean the world will come crashing down on them and just because you did a good deed does not mean you deserve anything, this is not how life works.
When we focus on us being the judges of what people deserve, we hold ourselves back from being the best version of ourselves. We cannot judge people and wish ill on people and still say we are at the top of our game. The reason is that every time we allow this for to happen, it is like a tiny weight being tied to us. It may feel like nothing at first but as we add more and more, it will hold us back from going further.

Tips to let go:

• Stop caring: Stop worrying about what everyone else is getting. We are not put on this earth to judge people, we are here to make the most out of our lives.
• Give your best because you want to: To give your best only because it will get you the best is a disaster waiting to happen. At the first sign of being less than great, you will give up, be great because you want to be.
• Realize the world owes you nothing: The world owes us nothing, no one owes us anything. Theo only person who owes us something is ourselves. We owe it to ourselves to be the biggest kick ass version that we can be.
• Stop playing the victim: In 90% of our life, we are not the victim, we choose to be. 

When most people hear that life is unfair they think of the negatives connotations behind it but the truth is that when life is not fair, it can be great. Everyone screws up stop letting it hold you back. The world is not fair, sometimes you are dealt crappy hand, deal with it, it is not a personal attack on you, you did not do anything to deserve it. Take it head on and create your own future. Your future is unstoppable.

Taken to the Cleaners

Earlier this week, I dropped off three of my suites at the dry cleaner over my lunch hour. It was a beautiful day to be outside so I decided to walk there. I was in a good mood on the walk over but it improved once I arrived at the dry cleaner.

The women I worked with whose name I cannot remember was amazing. She was friendly and had a conversation with me. In just a few minutes, she was able to make my day even better. I hope I made her day better. I was filled with joy when I left the dry cleaners, how many people can actually say that? In a normal everyday transaction, this woman was able to make it extraordinary.

Here are the lessons that I learned.

• At any point in your life, you can make a difference, if you want to. Leaders are great but leaders are not the only ones that can make a difference. You do not need to have special title to change the lives of those around you. Do not doubt yourself, the biggest and best way you can change the world is by being you.

• Small actions create a huge impact. Stop trying to change the world and start changing the moment. I have written about this before it’s important. Our small actions create the change we want.

• Perspective is key. I could have decided to ignore this women’s kindness. I could have labeled it as her just doing her job that would have hurt me more than anyone else. In every situation and with everyone that we deal with we have two options, we can see the good or we can ignore it. If we all took the opportunity to enjoy and appreciate the small moments, the world would be a better place.

The reason I started this part of my blog is simple. I want you to never underestimate your current situation in a good way. You are going to make mistakes, try to not focus on that. It is hard, I know but trust me there is so much more. Stop worrying about which situation it will be that will change your life. You will never know. The only thing you need to do to be ready is to be yourself. Make every moment the best one of your life. There is no limit to how much you can learn, do or achieve.