Get Happy

My friend Brian Drury wrote a blog post a few months ago about “Asking the Right Questions” which got me thinking about our quest for happiness. While it is great to know what make you happy, it is equally important to understand what does not make you happy.

Often in life we make it harder on ourselves to be happy than we really need to. Think about a friend or maybe yourself that constantly complains about their job, significant other or how busy they are. The truth of it all, is it all comes down to three options.

1) Do nothing and stay miserable. When you choose this path, you have no one to blame but yourself, do not blame others for your choices.

2) You can leave or quit as well. This is a smart option if you really think nothing will change. It is movement and you are taking an active role in your life.

3) Work to make it better. Not a lot of people choose this path, not because people are lazy but because people do not believe that they can actually do it. They doubt their own potential. Trust me you can do it but it will require work.

Your life really comes down to how you see it and your perspective, here are some thing to think about to improve your life and increase your happiness.

1) Who do you spend your time with? I am one of the luckiest people in the world. I get to spend my time with are freaking amazing and inspiring. They make the most out of life. Happiness is up to you but it is a lot easier to choose to be happy when you have friends that want to be happy as well.

2) Who are you living for? I am always confused by the people who are driven by those who tell them that they cannot do something. It seems so backwards to me. Why would you focus your energy on someone that does not believe in us? I come from a family and a group of friends that have always supported me in everything that I do. These are the people beyond myself that I think about when I do incredible things, not the haters.

3) Get over yourself, seriously. If you have to tell me how great you are, that is my first sign that you are nowhere near great. Stop focusing on only living for yourself because your life is more than that. Stay humble and stay happy.

4) Choose that you have done enough. I always want to do more, it is a blessing and a curse. There are so many nights where I would come home from work, working out, writing and working on volunteer projects be dead tired and still not happy with what I had done that day. I always wanted to do more. The problem is that if always makes me feel less than. I never feel like I have done enough and so at the end of the day, I feel like I have failed the day and that makes me feel like crap. Realize that you have done enough as long as you have done something. You can always do more but that is fine.

5) Do not play the victim, accept responsibility. Taking responsibility is hard and it hurts but it is one of the most freeing things to do in the world. While it sucks to go through it, when you get to the end you feel free. No one is perfect and everyone screws up. Do not try and blame your shortcomings on other people.

6) Use perspective to gain clarity not to compare. There are people who have it worse off than me, who have bigger struggles than I do. When I compare myself to them I get nowhere but when I use what they are going through to gain perspective on what is happening in my life, I grow.

Happiness is something that we all screw up on, give yourself a break. Even people who are happy every day get upset, they just rebound from it. These tips I have do not come from a book but they come from my own struggle in happiness.

Taken to the Cleaners

Earlier this week, I dropped off three of my suites at the dry cleaner over my lunch hour. It was a beautiful day to be outside so I decided to walk there. I was in a good mood on the walk over but it improved once I arrived at the dry cleaner.

The women I worked with whose name I cannot remember was amazing. She was friendly and had a conversation with me. In just a few minutes, she was able to make my day even better. I hope I made her day better. I was filled with joy when I left the dry cleaners, how many people can actually say that? In a normal everyday transaction, this woman was able to make it extraordinary.

Here are the lessons that I learned.

• At any point in your life, you can make a difference, if you want to. Leaders are great but leaders are not the only ones that can make a difference. You do not need to have special title to change the lives of those around you. Do not doubt yourself, the biggest and best way you can change the world is by being you.

• Small actions create a huge impact. Stop trying to change the world and start changing the moment. I have written about this before it’s important. Our small actions create the change we want.

• Perspective is key. I could have decided to ignore this women’s kindness. I could have labeled it as her just doing her job that would have hurt me more than anyone else. In every situation and with everyone that we deal with we have two options, we can see the good or we can ignore it. If we all took the opportunity to enjoy and appreciate the small moments, the world would be a better place.

The reason I started this part of my blog is simple. I want you to never underestimate your current situation in a good way. You are going to make mistakes, try to not focus on that. It is hard, I know but trust me there is so much more. Stop worrying about which situation it will be that will change your life. You will never know. The only thing you need to do to be ready is to be yourself. Make every moment the best one of your life. There is no limit to how much you can learn, do or achieve.

Happiness

There is a story about a man waiting on the top of the roof during a flood and he is praying to God to save him. Two boats and a helicopter come by and offer to rescue him but he refuses because he knows that God will save him. The water continues to rise and in the end he drowns. When he dies he is upset. He asks God “I prayed, why did you not save me?” and God responds “I tried, who do you think sent the boats and helicopter”

We put ourselves in the position of the man waiting to be saved. Every day there are opportunities for us to be happy but we pass them up because we are waiting for something greater and in the end, we kill ourselves and kill our happiness.

We do not take joy in our everyday life. We focus on everything that goes wrong, what we did wrong and the reasons that we cannot be happy and it ruins us. We spend our lives on the rooftop, waiting for something to save us, when we are the ones that can save ourselves.

Dreams are a powerful thing. Dreams can ruin your life if you do not put action behind them to make them a reality.

It is easy to fall in love with your dreams and I think you should fall in love with your dreams but what you need to fall in love with more is the process of getting there. The hard work, every day activities and the struggles that you face getting there. When we do this, we shift our mindset from waiting to being engaged and we truly start living.

When was the last time you fell in love with your life, exactly as you are? The same person that has failed, that is not where you want to be and still can improve? When was the last time you fell in love with your job, everything that is wrong with, everything that frustrates you and all the things that you wish you did not have to do.

We spend our whole lives waiting for happiness, expecting it to come to us once we reach a certain level in our life but in reality we need to find happiness at every level of our life.

Find joy in the life you have and you will find more.