Ditch the New Year's Resolution

I was sitting down having coffee with a friend who I admire a great deal and they mentioned to me that they would like to be more assertive in 2016.  I first was happy for them but then it hit me, why the fuck do we wait for a specific day to get started, especially when it comes to being assertive? Why not start right now?

We wait for New Year’s Day as if our life will somehow magically improve and we will be ready. We may think not we are ready, but we are. Everything we want to achieve we can start now, not just today but right now. If you are reading this you can get started. If you have no goals or resolutions, what a better place to get started then to come up with one that actually means something to you.

Why do we put off making our lives better just because of a stupid tradition that no one questions or even thinks about? We want a clean path to success that is unquestioned, direct and easy. Life does not work that way.

There has never been overnight success. When we hear about overnight success it is not the work that occurred overnight, it is the awareness of the work that happens overnight. The success happens because that person worked their ass off. They did not wait for a certain time to make it happen; they kept working until it did happen. What makes New Year’s Day so special? A new year, how about a new life.

Stop thinking you need to have everything figured out. If you talk to anyone who tells you that they that they have their whole life planned, show them compassion. They are lying to you, they are not as self-confident as they would like you to believe. If they tell you that you need to have everything figured out, kindly thank them and remember that you do not. You need to have a direction, goals and aspirations but you do not need to know it all because no one does.

If you get started now, you will be even closer to reaching your goal. If you wait, you put yourself in this constant struggle of trying to figure out if this is the right move for you. “What if I fail?”, “What if I was meant to do something else?” “What if I give up?” I could go on and on and on about all the stupid reasons we decide to not pursue what we want. The point you need to remember is that, you are ready.

I have tried to publish blog post consistently for over a year and I failed numerous times, I still have not made it. Every time that I failed I could have given up, sometimes I did but I always went back to it. When we fail we take this as a sign that we should give up, it is the exact opposite, it is a sign to keep going. You are going to fail and that is okay. It does not matter when you start or what you are doing you will fail. If you do not fail, you are not doing something that is scary or challenging enough to truly grow.

If you are okay with waiting, you do not want it bad enough. If you are okay with letting it all be a dream, you do not want it bad enough. Your fear of failure is still blocking your judgement because no matter how good of a plan you have, your success will not go as planned. Fear is going to be there but it cannot take control. When you take that leap and decide to pursue everything that you have ever wanted, fear does not go away it gets magnified; you have to be okay with that and get ready to kick fear’s ass. We cannot wait around to get what we want, we must go after it. We need to be obsessed about it, relentless and ruthless towards it.

How to Become an Inspiration

I know a lot of inspiring people in my life. They range from friend who ran 20 marathons in 20 days to one that recently became an author and one that has completed an Ironman all while pushing and pulling someone that would otherwise not physically be able to complete the event and these are just a few of my friends there are many more. You listen to them talk and you cannot help but be inspired by their stories and their moments of glory. It is amazing to see success happen to those that truly deserve it which is the problem. There is no problem with them being successful but with how we process how they got there. When we think of inspiration we just see the highlights, we see the good parts and that is the problem we rarely hear about the struggle that made this inspiration possible.

All of my inspiring friends that I have mentioned had a struggle that they had to go through to become inspiring. The struggles that they went through are not inspiring but in fact to most people they are uninspiring and depressing.

My friend that ran 20 marathons in 20 days gave up hours of sleep, trained for hours suffered from injuries and felt pain in most of the runs.

My friend that wrote the book spent hours of time writing it, investing time in himself to learn how to become the best writer that he could. He invested in his book promoting it and getting it off the ground. He dealt with rejection but kept going.

My other friend that completed two Ironmans pushing and pulling someone gave up hours of training, his time and having an easier way to compete.

This is what makes inspiration. Inspiration is created by when we choose to be boulder in our lives and not let who we currently are define, who we will always be. We get trapped in the belief that the journey is going to be this glorious ride when really you are down in the trenches wondering if you will ever get out and if you should just give up. This is my first problem with inspiration and motivation, it can become an excuse

When we wait for moments of inspiration to get us started and to keep us going, we put our future in the hands of the unknown; we completely give up all of our drive and passion. You are never going to know everything that will happen in your life. There will be ups and downs and sometimes life will punch you right in the gut, you just need to give it your all. We limit ourselves to only a fraction of the impact that we could have if we just decided we wanted it. This is my second issue with inspiration, people say they want it but are not open to it.

We fail to realize that inspiration only work for those that are open to it. We try so hard to motivate and inspire those that do not want to do anything and then we blame ourselves when they stay the same. Think of it like a parachute, you can tell someone all you want how to use it, what needs to be done and when to use it but unless they want to use it, you cannot help them from plummeting towards the earth. If you want to stop plummeting towards the earth, here is a tip. Inspiration is a mindset not a feeling.

If you want to be successful stop waiting for inspiration and start focusing on your mindset. It is a balance between believing that the best is yet to come, knowing you are strong enough but being aware it is going to be a struggle. The fact of the matter is, you do not need inspiration to help you be successful, it helps but you do not need it. So

Anyone can be inspiring but most people do not want to take the leap to become inspiring. We become too comfortable with the world that we live in not wanting to become hurt or vulnerable when that is all that is really needed. Inspiration takes work and it takes time but most of all it takes a commitment to not being afraid to be bolder. Ordinary and easy lives do not make for inspiration. Hardships and pain are what create inspiration. Inspiration takes hard work, long nights and it is a struggle. We forget to focus on telling the story that lead to the inspiration

For the love of the game.

Have you ever met someone and noticed how much passion and drive they have for being successful and wanted to be like them? I have and one of the things that I have noticed is their passion and love for what they do, it is something that cannot be made up or you can spot a phony from a mile away.

Notice a clear distinction, I did not mention that they just had a passion but they had a passion for what they do. The excuse that I am just not that interested in a subject so I will try less hurts no one but yourself. Life is full of shit that you do not want to do but you have a choice, you can do it with passion or you can half-ass your way through it, use your whole ass. Successful people know that you need to be all in, all the time.

What I see about these people is that they are not so obsessed about a successful moment but rather are very obsessed with the constant opportunity for success and for the ability to grow from it. They are not obsessed with success but they are obsessed with becoming better at every chance they get.  They realize that championships, multi-billion dollar companies and to be the best is not made when everyone is looking but rather when no one is looking. It  is made when it is easier to quit, to give up when the pain sets in or when you would rather be doing something else.

A friend runs a business that sells nuts, bolts and fasteners to medium sized businesses. It is hard to believe that anyone could really get that excited about it and yet he thrives in the environment. It goes beyond what his company does, he has a passion for being the best, working hard and making amazing things happen, with that attitude you can be successful anywhere. These are all about the attitude not skills or talents. Anyone can learn to live with passion if they want to.

Have you ever heard someone say “All it would take is one big break and I would be set?” This is an example of looking for just a moment of success. They are not so much obsessed with what they are doing but rather with just being successful so they can be done. People that are focused on the growth want that big moment to propel them to even bigger moments of more growth and opportunity. They are not obsessed with winning but they are obsessed with improving everything that they can to win more. Many of us get it wrong; we spend all this time trying to be successful without putting the effort into what will make us successful. You win a football game by scoring more points than the other team, what this means is that you need to not only score but you need to stop the other team from scoring. To break it down further what this means is that you need to practice the components that make up your offensive and defensive line. That is how you win and that same concept is how you become successful

Michael Jordan made a multi-million dollar salary for numerous years. Even getting paid  $10,000,000 would for most people be making it big but he kept going and at his peak he made $33,000,000 in one year but that did not stop him. He had a love for the game he was playing, not for being successful. Clearly money did not drive him but what drove him was his desire to be the best. 

Warren Buffet has been named one of the richest men in the world, and still working at 85 has a love for the game. He could have quit years ago and lived easily off what he worked so hard to get and yet he did not, he kept going and kept creating more success. He loves the challenge and the ability to grow from what he takes on.

Oprah Winfrey is one of the few people whose first name is a household brand. She is a multi-billionaire who has mastered the media for years. She could have given up years ago and retired but she is still in the game, even without her television show. While she may have experienced plenty of success, she was not looking for a onetime event but rather a lifetime of growth.

Focus on growth.

Success Sucks

Life is a series of choices that made every second that domino down the line. Your choice this very minute affects the rest of your life.

There is a lot of discussion around what success is and what it is not. My personal view is that success is doing what sucks, what is hard and what is painful to get to a greater place in your life.

I think back to Ironman and I know that I use it a lot but it has so many values to me. I am sure that your passion or your hobby has taught you many lessons as well.

As I got off the bike and made my way into transition, I was feeling okay. I knew that all I had left was to run 26.2 miles and I would be done. Within a mile of the run, I knew it was going to be painful. My legs were cramping and I could not get my nutrition and water in check. I knew that I had a long road of suffering ahead of me.

The reason that many people do Ironman is the very reason why so many people choose not to do Ironman, it sucks. The time you have to put into it just to get to the start line giving up your social life to stay on your training schedule. Feeling the fatigue and pain as your workouts get longer and longer and increase in intensity. Then you get to race day and it sucks some more. The whole day, no matter how good you are, is a struggle and it should be.

The difference is that the people that compete in an Ironman know that it sucks but let the feeling of crossing that finish line and the experience triumph over the pain. This is the key to life. Embrace the suck.

The key to success is not doing what makes you happy or trying to find your passion much less follow it. Success is taking the obstacles head on, making the hard choice and doing what is right, not what is easy.

We have been told that success is accomplishing great goals and winning but what if we reframed the way we think to see success as the work that we put into it. The moment we decide to take the hard way, the road less traveled and do what is best, not what is the easiest.

Do not get me wrong, I still see success as a conglomerate of things but a majority of what we see as success is really the output of choosing to make the best decision. We know what success looks like in the end but most of us have no clue how to get there.

How do you get to be a millionaire, by having a million dollars, pretty simple, right?  However the road to getting to a million dollars is a series of hard choices, do I go out tonight and spend my money, have a good time or do I save my money, invest it and hold off for the long term goals.

Success is not an accident; it is a series of hard choices.

The greatest part is that you can be successful today, even if you chose to not be successful for a single moment in your life prior to this. It is just one decision away from changing your life. Go be successful.

What I learned from Ironman

Ironman some say it is the toughest thing you could ever do, to me it is one of the greatest things you will ever do. I love endurance athletics because you get to push your mind, body  and spirit to new limits and all of the les

sons that you learn while you do them. Here are some of the lessons that I learned about life and success from completing an Ironman.

Focus on where you want to go. I signed up for Ironman being a very poor swimmer and now; I am just a poor swimmer. I can always get better and that is the point, I can get better. I knew my weakness and what it would take but I focused on where I wanted to go Stop waiting for the right time because there will never be a right time. There will always be something wrong. Stop waiting for when you are ready because there will always be an excuse. Forget what you do not know or what you cannot do, you will get there, just commit to getting there.

One small step. Is how you complete an Ironman, change the world or change your life. One step after the other. An Ironman  is really not that complicated. You just need to keep going. One stroke after the other, one pedal stroke and one foot in front of the other, if you just keep moving you will get to your destination, never give up. It is a balance of figuring out how far you have to go and focusing on that next step. Just keep moving in the right direction.

Everyone travels at a different pace, but all that matters is getting to the finish. It does not matter your pace as long as you keep moving forward and meet the deadline. We get too caught up in trying to keep up with everyone else that it ends up hurting us. As I said before I am a poor swimmer. If I were to try and keep up with the great swimmers I would be dead on the bike and the run and I may not cross the finish line. This happens in real life. We see the success of our friends and we get happy for them but we get mad at ourselves. We tell ourselves that we should be there and we should be that successful. If we would have just worked harder and done more, we would be there. We look at all of our failures and tell ourselves we are not good enough. We stop, give up and are out of the game. Remember that your pace is your pace and you will get there. Whether that be crossing the finish line or reaching another goal that you have, you have what it takes. Some parts will take you longer and others will take you shorter, just focus on getting there.

Ask for help. Surround yourself that have the same passion as you but have different insights. My friend Kare Anderson is an expert in this area. How can your differences help the people around you and how can their differences help you? From reading this post you know that I suck at swimming.  I take every opportunity that I can to learn how to be a better swimmer. I also take every opportunity I can to help push people past their limits to live more. I will help people in any way that I can, not for the recognition but to see that person grow. It is amazing to see that your investment in a person can truly become a lifetime of change. Even it is not a lifetime, just for a moment it is worth it.

Embrace what sucks. Stop doing what is easy and what does not hurt. It is okay to become broken, worn and be filled with pain, because that is where all the growth happens. We think that when we fall or when it gets hard we are weak and that is a lie. The truth is that we are truly the weakest when it becomes easy. There is no challenge so there is no growth. Whether we want to believe it or not, we are tough enough to do anything that we want. Stop looking for the easiest way out because it is the easiest way for a reason, there is little value in taking the easy way if any value at all.

Thank the people that help you get there. Ironman is amazing for a number of reasons but one of the biggest ones for me are the volunteers and the spectators. Here are people that get up early, stay up late, stand around for hours, travel, take time out of their day, cheer for you and help you and they do it all for you and ask nothing in return. I know that you have those people in your life. Remember to thank them for being right there with you before, during and after your journey. Far too often we focus on proving everyone wrong that told us we could not do it, we waste time that we could be focusing on those that knew we could all along.

Forget about the medal. I get joy in the experience and the relationships that I get to build during not only these events but during the training. I have made some of my best friends over endurance events and you can talk these people about anything. Medals get lost and they get dusty, these friendships, memories and lessons will never fade. Not only do you get to see how great you are, you get to see how great others are and how far they can go. The takeaway for this in real life is to stop focusing on the extrinsic values and start to focus intrinsic values. Do not be successful just to be successful, define why you want to successful and what will motivate you to get there

Your end result is all about what you put into it. We hear a lot about overnight success stories. The success is not due to luck but because the person that had the success stayed up all night and working their ass off. This is not only true for endurance events but in life as well. If you are not getting where you want to go; give some more, try harder and try it a different way. You cannot expect excellent results when you only give mediocre effort.

Remember why you started. When it gets tough and when it starts to hurt, remember why you started. When it gets easy, you start to enjoy it and you begin to smile, remember why you started. When you feel like giving up, remember why you started. Ironman is a journey and life is a journey.  Making a choice to live bolder is a journey. There will be times when you want to give up but don’t, always remember why you started; it will fuel you to accomplish anything that you want. Always remember why you started.

Show your appreciation. Ironman is amazing for a number of reasons but one of the biggest ones for me are the volunteers and the spectators. Here are people that get up early, stay up late, stay around for hours all for you and ask nothing in return. I know that you have those people in your life. Remember to thank them for being right there with you before, during and after your journey. 

Your end result is all about what you put into it. We hear a lot about overnight success stories and my guess is that it is not due to luck but because the person that had the success stayed up all night and gave everything that they had. This is not only true for endurance events but in life as well. If you are not getting where you want to go, give some more, try harder and try it a different way. You cannot expect excellent results when you only give mediocre effort.

Be ruthless with your life

Your time is limited, so stop wasting it on things that do not matter, with people that do not matter or. Sometimes we care too much other times we just get sucked in because we want to be part of the group, not because we really like the people but because we do not want to be left out.

We need to start to be ruthless in everything that we do. This does not mean that you have to be rude, it means knowing what is worth your time and what is not, more importantly who is worth your time and who is not.

We all want to belong to and feel part of the group but what is easy to forget is that just because we are a part of a group does not mean that we are meant to be there. We try and make ourselves fit in to people we do not like that have ideas that go against what we believe just to fit in but we never really fit in, we always feel like we are out.

I believe almost everyone wants to do good in the world and wants to help others and that is a blessing and a curse. At times it helps us do amazing things but then it can make us believe that investing our valuable time into people that are not worth it is worth it. When I say this by no means and am I saying that people are useless but I am saying that some people do not deserve your time.

How often have you spent hours being frustrated with someone that did you wrong, pisses you off or tells you that you cannot do something? You are wasting your time on people that do not matter instead of investing it with people that do matter. We think about proving them wrong and making them hurt, getting even and making every move to spite them, when we do this, we are not winning, we are losing.

I have a problem of talking about things I have no control over and that I cannot change, every minute that I do this is a minute taken away from something else that I can control, that I can improve something where I can see the impact I have created.

We need to be ruthless with our time and how we spend it and who we spend it on. Life is too short for us to just give our time away, our mind away and our energy away. We need to consciously focus our efforts on the things that matter and the people that matter. It is the only way that we can truly get anything done. If we keep wasting our time on people and things that do not matter it takes away from the things that do. It not only takes away our time but it takes away our energy, how many times have you thought to yourself “I just do not have the energy” I believe that this happens because we focus too much on the things that do not matter and it drains us.

I am not implying that we do not do what it is hard. I believe doing what is hard, different or causes us pain is a great thing, if we do it for the right reasons. We need to focus your energy on what matters and on who matters. If we do this, we can grow so much more and take on so much more that matters

Failure by Default

How many times have you thought about doing something only to tell yourself all the reasons why it could not possibly happen, where you would fail and all that could possibly go wrong? You dismiss the opportunity and try to forget all about it. I say try to forget because you never really forget about it, just give up on it, believing that never trying is better than failing. Unfortunately this line of thinking seems to be accepted in the world that we live in. We suffer from a symptom that I call “Failure by default”

The funny part of it all is the thing that we fear the most, FAILURE happens right away when we choose to not go after what we want or to go past our current boundaries because of the fear that we are not good enough, smart enough, rich enough or whatever you want to insert here to get what we want. We do not even give the idea a chance to have life, a chance to grow, we just dismiss it because we are afraid of being a little successful and then failing and instead we choose to fail with no success.

In the end, hard work, grit and dedication pay off and that is hard to believe when you are looking at a big idea that will change the world or at least change your life or something that willjust be different. It is easy to let the voices get to you that tell you not to take that chance, to not be adventurous and to be okay with not doing what you really want. In the end when we choose that path, we know what the results will be if you do not take the chance, it will never happen.

Sometimes we are blind to the fact that we are still failing if we never started on the journey. How can it possibly be a failure if we never tried it, it is a failure not because something went wrong but because you never gave it a chance, give a chance, work hard and see what happens.

Start taking those chances you fear and start believing that you have what it takes. In the end it begins with the choice on if you will try or not. If you try you can fail but if you do not try you will fail. It does not have to be a big move by any means; in fact you can start off small. Even the smallest choices can be hard to make but they are worth it.